Author Towardstherain Posted April 25, 2011 Author Posted April 25, 2011 Thanks TMCM. This whole thing is taking a toll on me. Mom just won't drop it.
Bigsmoke Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 You are right to stay clear of your brother. You mom is being terribly insensitive. I wonder what caused his accident. Was it self inflicted, either out of guilt or to avoid responsibility and to garner sympathy. Strange coincidence that it happened so soon after your discovery. As for the debate on comparing pain(death etc. vs infidelity), on author/expert. Willard Harely of the marriagebuilders site, claims he interviewd folks who had been victims of infidelity and who also had lost a loved one or been sexaully asaulted. He claims that , unanomusly, the folks that had been through both described the recovery from infidelity as being much more difficult. He pointed out a few reasons. First, of course, is the fact that loss of a loved one involves(usually) no volitional betrayal. And, he points out that losing a loved one does not vitiate all the fond memories one has of the past, like infidelity does. Finally, he points out that with infidelity, and the ongoing contact with the betrayer, one is constantly reminded of what happned, whereas when a loved one dies, we are not triggered as often. Anyway, the answer is not all that important and is subjective. I don't think anyone would argue that infidelity causes sever, extensive trauma. I think it is mind boggling athat a parent would not understand a sibling betraying his brother like this is one of the gravest offenses that one can commit.
Author Towardstherain Posted April 25, 2011 Author Posted April 25, 2011 You are right to stay clear of your brother. You mom is being terribly insensitive. I wonder what caused his accident. Was it self inflicted, either out of guilt or to avoid responsibility and to garner sympathy. Strange coincidence that it happened so soon after your discovery. Thanks Big. I do wonder sometimes if he actually pulled that crap, but he's always been a bad driver with a record.
Author Towardstherain Posted April 25, 2011 Author Posted April 25, 2011 Has your wife tried to give you some insight on how this happened and what lead up to it? I can't believe that neither of them had the respect to stop it I haven't actually taken the time to hear how or why from her mouth. My guess is they probably hooked up using our family as an excuse or something along those lines. I don't know. Really doesn't matter to me at this point. I will say I'm glad I know. That's the only good thing out of this mess.
Bigsmoke Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 Toward, you are making the absolutely right decison in divorcing this woman. She is very sick and cruel. Your brother must be a sociopath, as well.
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