FlyAway&ComeBack Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 Let me start from the beginning. My boyfriend and I has had our ups & downs. We lived 1 hour and 30 minutes away, but I came to town A LOT. Didn't go a long time without seeing him, but we spoke all day every day. First week of our relationship he was talking to other girls and sending them nudes and what not. About 2 months in I started liking another male. He would always lie and say something and do another and just lie in general about stupid things. Well, he would always accuse me of cheating on him. Which I didn't.. Until I got fed up with it and just did. I just didn't care about our relationship anymore.. After a year it was to much to handle him always accusing, over and over. He was my first & I was his. Well after I cheated, I didn't tell him. It bothered me, but I didn't say anything because I still loved him just not the way that I had before. I knew how much it would've hurt him. Well, I moved in after I graduated and I just feel way back in love with him like harder then before. I just always wanted to do thing with him and be with him and just loved him and he loved me! So, he proposed to me and of course I said yes. Well A couple days after he found out I cheated on him. He knew before, for the fact I was always crying and saying sorry and he would always as why, just never told him. Well, he found out. We didn't break up, we didn't fight. We just talked about it, what happened and what not. He said he still loved me all the same and still wanted to marry me. I never ever wanted to see that look of pain on his face, I know it hurt him so bad. He felt like it was his fault because he had low self esteem & always accused me of things I wasn't doing, and didn't plan on doing. I take full responsibility for what happened. We were actually better in some ways. Just no more secrets, he stopped lying. Everything was good. 5 or 6 months later he started acting different, like he cared less. He didn't see how, he just didn't really think about showing me that he loved me anymore. He wasn't cheating or anything like that at all. Just didn't care. Or SEEMED like he didn't. Well our 2 year anniversary rolled around and he liked his gifts and everything he said he still felt love for me and he loved me and stuff. Well, the day after our anniversary we got in n argument, and he realized that he didn't love me as much as he use to, or thought that he did. I was destroyed like, a mess. It broke my heart to pieces because he was suppose to be my "forever", and all of the sudden out of the blue, I wasn't. He said it probably was just building from the day he found out I cheated on him. Which, he is the type that just ignores things. Well, I asked if we could try, if he felt like we could get back together. He said yes, that we could work on it. Well, the next day I asked him if he really was going to try and he just said no, basically. I asked why he lied, he said cause he felt bad and wish that he never said anything cause I didn't want to see me like that anymore or to begin with. I stayed there for about a week and moved out to my aunts, it was hard, the hardest thing I've ever had to do to date. He says he still loves me and still is in love with me but just not as much as he use to be, he still cares about me and what not. Just he says he doesn't want to "worry" about us. And that he just wants to focus on him type thing. I still see him every week and talk to him daily. From two months ago til now his feelings and outlook on everything had changed. He use to say that he thinks we will eventually get back together and what not. He still says he loves me and cares. He's not seeing anyone like that, which I know. I just don't know what to do. He's in this, " I don't care mood", so I feel like if I just let go of him a little bit it would ruin our chances of ever getting back together. I'm doing A LOT better then I was. I don't cry everyday or anything anymore. I know he still cares about me and loves me a little. I see the old him shine through this person he is now I don't know if it it a phase or not.. It'll be 2 months ago that we broke up. He told me that we wouldn't be where we are now if I hadn't have cheated on him, I can't get over that. That's the only thing I have ever regretted in my life, i'd give just about anything to take it back. I just want opinions on what to do, how you would take this.
Johnny85 Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 Are you still in contact with him on a daily basis?
Author FlyAway&ComeBack Posted April 10, 2011 Author Posted April 10, 2011 Yes and I still see him weekly. A day or a couple days at a time.
Johnny85 Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 Right now he knows that you will take him back whenever he is ready to continue your relationship. By continuing to stay in contact with him, you are not allowing him to miss you. Essentially, he is getting all of the emotional benefits of being in a relationship, without actually being in one. The only advice I can give you is to distance yourself from him for a while; this will drive him nuts. Although NC is a way for you to improve and become emotionally unattached, it still has other benefits, namely what I mentioned above. Good luck:)
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