GottaGetAway Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 A bit of background: I met this guy online in February. We talked a lot through emails and on the phone before we met. Hit it off right away. We were exclusive and sleeping together by the second date. Everything has been going great, and I find myself finally letting my guard down a little bit. He has in the past expressed concern that I always seem to be pulling away, and I like him, so I don't want him to feel insecure about this. Unlike with many guys in the past, I truly care about his feelings and how my emotional distancing might affect him. Anyway, we've been seeing each other for just over a month. It wasn't long before he started commenting that he really wanted to say "it", but it was too early (and I quickly and enthusiastically agreed that it was WAY too early). Last night he met my parents and my friends. We went out with the group of friends, and I guess meeting my people gave him a confidence boost, as he said I love you. I said it back, but we were both drunk. I kind of hoped it would be forgotten for the time being. This morning he said it again and several times since. I said it back, though not every time, and it wasn't a struggle or anything...I do have very strong feelings for him. I'm just not sure if it's too early for quite that level. I feel like the relationship has become serious very fast and I'm feeling a bit apprehensive. I'm worried about pushing myself past my comfort level and bolting due to the resulting fear (yes, I have emotional intimacy issues). I'm interested in others' thoughts on this, and am curious as to when others said the L word, and if you felt unsure/panicky afterward. I'm also worried it's just lust. The last two guys I dated were previously my best friends for several years so I didn't feel weird as I'd loved them for a while already (platonically). Before that I usually didn't say it for a long time after the guy initially did. When I did so it felt forced. What do you think? Too soon? Is the slight panic "normal"?? I don't know if I'm over thinking it but I can't seem to help myself.
xpaperxcutx Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 Drunken ILYs do not count. Drunk people tend to let down their guards more but it doesnt mean they mean what they say. I do think however, he could love you just like you do him, however you guys are progressing in a way where it's not idealistic to say it until you both at least reached a half year anniversary. It's only been a month... it's easier to say I hate you than I LYs.
Author GottaGetAway Posted April 9, 2011 Author Posted April 9, 2011 Drunken ILYs do not count. Drunk people tend to let down their guards more but it doesnt mean they mean what they say. I do think however, he could love you just like you do him, however you guys are progressing in a way where it's not idealistic to say it until you both at least reached a half year anniversary. It's only been a month... it's easier to say I hate you than I LYs. I did mention it was repeated several times today in the light of sobriety (perhaps the fact that we were sober in the morning wasn't clear enough). Thanks for your input though. 6 months DOES seem more realistic, but I do feel very strongly and as such my head and heart are contradicting each other.
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