mogul Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 I miss my ex and really regret a lot of things. I took her for granted. She was a great gf for the most part and I had an ego/attitude problem. I wish I did half the things I did for her now that I do for random people and the whole dating process. I was always so focused on myself, my career, and money motivated. I truly miss her and wish I can do so many things over and not be the arrogant prick that I was. I am so sick of myself and my life now. Things are going well, I am dating and been having random hook ups almost weekly. However, I almost feel disgusted after sex and worry about so many little things. I am paranoid about getting stds, pregnancies, and them getting clingy. Everything felt natural with the ex, we were comfortable and just had dorky fun together. I love the feeling of being in a relationship. Knowing that no matter what life throws at me, we'll figure it out as a team. I miss her and hate myself for still caring. I meet people and date, yet I can't move on. Still. Until something miraculous happens, I'll feel as if she is still the one. We used to have "our" song, now I just feel like it was all a lie. I don't know what to do. I'm trying to live my life, and let her live hers and if things are meant to be it'll happen. I also think that she is done with me for the most part. I don't know what to do. I'm buzzed.
nana841121 Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 Looks like the break-up make you reflect on your own flaw, which is a good sign. If you really care about her, go and try to tell her what you feel . give both of you another shot. see what will happen Life is too short to feel regretful
DollyGirl12 Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 Hi, just read your post. Do you mind sharing what caused your breakup? Was it neglect, cheating, etc.? We all go through pain when someone we loved disappears from our life. As Nana said, self reflection is a good thing. Good luck!!
Author mogul Posted April 9, 2011 Author Posted April 9, 2011 Looks like the break-up make you reflect on your own flaw, which is a good sign. If you really care about her, go and try to tell her what you feel . give both of you another shot. see what will happen Life is too short to feel regretful I would love to give us another try. However, I don't have that luxury. She was the one that broke up with me. Hi, just read your post. Do you mind sharing what caused your breakup? Was it neglect, cheating, etc.? We all go through pain when someone we loved disappears from our life. As Nana said, self reflection is a good thing. Good luck!! I truly don't know exactly what ended the relationship. It was almost as if she just decided she had enough and was done with it all. I always thought somehow we would work things out. Ultimately, I would blame myself becoming too comfortable with her and didn't feel the need to impress and keep her happy as much in the end. Happy, in the sense that I didn't surprise her as much or random dates and keeping things fresh. Also, I had/have a horrible attitude at times that I didn't sugar coat with her when we got comfortable with each other. I could of treated her alot better.... she was a great girl. A lot of qualities I've tried to find in other girls, that just don't compare.
Hopeless Girl Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 Are you sure she didnt just burst your ego/attitude and now your liking the chase? Cause if she were such a great girl and if you did really care for her then u wouldve treated her a whole lot better. I think you just felt lonely and liked the attention and u didnt even have to make any effort. She was a great girl yea but did you guys get along or did u force urself to get along? Did you just like the idea of her because she was marriage material but really you guys werent even really compatible?
singer24 Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 You have to forgive yourself. FORGIVE YOURSELF. I had a 5 yr relationship with someone and i know how it is when you just get comfortable and you start taking the person for granted. You have to know that you are not a bad person. If she is moving on living her life, then you should too. I know it's hard but just take it as a learning experience and please please please forgive yourself. You know sometimes when you love someone so much, you tend to put all the blame on yourself for why things went wrong, when sometimes the other person has something to do with it as well. Just reflect a bit on your relationship and the real reason it ended. If you come to the conclusion that it was really all your fault, well then like i said forgive yourself for it, remember that you are worth it and do deserve love, and move on. You will have beautiful memories of a relationship that was a learning experience.
Author mogul Posted April 10, 2011 Author Posted April 10, 2011 Are you sure she didnt just burst your ego/attitude and now your liking the chase? Cause if she were such a great girl and if you did really care for her then u wouldve treated her a whole lot better. I think you just felt lonely and liked the attention and u didnt even have to make any effort. She was a great girl yea but did you guys get along or did u force urself to get along? Did you just like the idea of her because she was marriage material but really you guys werent even really compatible? My whole life, if I wanted something I would have it. I always want things a certain way, and get annoyed easily. Because of this, I would at times say things that I now regret in retrospect. I don't get what part of my post implied that her and I were not compatible. Please enlighten me. She was the best girl and everything was right with her. We had the most fun together. I have never met another girl like her prior to us being together, and still haven't since. I have been through enough women to know what feels natural and what doesn't. Running errands was fun together, we could almost read each other's mind. Sounds cliche, but true.
Kura77 Posted April 13, 2011 Posted April 13, 2011 Hey Mogul, When I started reading your thread I thought it was one of mine - I was with my ex for 6 years but took her for granted & didn't put in enough effort the entire time. I was comfortable & just figured she would always be there. Since she initiated the break-up a year ago we've stayed friends but now she's moving on with someone else. Its killing me. What I have done a couple times over the past year is make it clear to her that I know I f**ked up and if I had the chance again would never make the same mistake. But she has made it clear it's too late. So what to do now but move on? The crazy thing is even though she's with this new dude I would still like to remain friends with her - I see no problem with this if nothings happening between us. Maybe I'm naive. I like Singer's advice about forgiving yourself but I just find that impossible. Sorry not much advice or words of comfort here - just wanted you to know your not alone. Hang in there mate.
Exit Posted April 13, 2011 Posted April 13, 2011 People, don't blame yourself for getting comfortable. We ALL do it. Your ex did it too. Being "comfortable" is actually just being "you". The beginnings of relationships are never real! Everyone always puts on their best act and wants to be impressive and romantic and all that. It takes a couple of months before you'll be bumming around the house burping in front of each other and not caring lol. I like what someone said above - when you really love someone, you just want to blame yourself. But it's easy to take that too far. Nobody is blameless. A relationship is a two way street. I feel like I made all the mistakes in my situation too, but deep down I know she got just as comfortable, just as lazy, she didn't do anything to sweep me off my feet either. People get comfortable. That's the point of a good relationship! Do you want to always have to be on your toes, trying to impress someone, trying to put on a good show? Screw that. Getting comfortable is a good sign. It doesn't mean you took them for granted.
Recommended Posts