johan Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 (edited) A woman meets a guy with whom she has unusually great chemistry. Both feel it's remarkable how well things have gone, and the next weekend is going to be the fifth date. Something special is going to happen, and both are excited. The Friday night before the big date the woman follows through on an irksome commitment to attend an event with another girlfriend. A commitment made weeks before. She is going to benefit the friend, but would otherwise have spent it with the new guy. The event ends up being a lot more fun than expected. Not only that but as luck would have it, a really charming guy was there and they end up talking most of the night. The chemistry with this guy could be just as good. And he wants her number at the end of the night. Assuming she's a reliable person and treats people right, how does she handle the situation? What does she tell the first guy? In the days that follow, if she started to get a lot of not-unwelcome contact from the second guy, is the first guy going to be left guessing? Edited April 9, 2011 by johan
westernxer Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 In the days that follow, if she started to get a lot of not-unwelcome contact from the second guy, is the first guy going to be left guessing? Probably so.
daphne Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 At 5 dates and things are looking up, it's time to intiate a conversation with guy #1 to see where they are on exclusivity. If he's still dating others, she should see waht's up with #2. If he's looking for exclusivity, it's time to let #2 know that things are getting more serious with #1 and that it's just bad timing. But I'm the kind of girl that believes a great bird in hand is better than a potential 2 in the bush.
Art_Critic Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 If she is as excited about number 1 as he is then she should rebuff the guy with " I'm already dating someone that has my attention and would like to see where it goes" If she doesn't then number needs to ramp up the romance and win her over, showing her that number 2 isn't worthy of her time... I lived this same scenario Johan.. I married her... I was lucky though that after one more date of me bringing it she got rid of number 2...
Art_Critic Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 But I'm the kind of girl that believes a great bird in hand is better than a potential 2 in the bush. hahahaha.. so dirty
xpaperxcutx Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 Until exclusivity is brought up, I'm open to dating other people. However, if things are looking up for guy #1 and his feelings for me are mutual, I would politely decline guy #2 for a date and go the friend route.
welikeincrowds Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 This is a common experience when dating. Suddenly there's a glut of "options" and a choice has to be made. The woman would be foolish to discard guy #1 for #2 if her time with #1 has been consistently enjoyable, and she's been excited for things in the horizon. In my opinion, ****ing around with #2 now would show very poor judgment, or inexperience. Unfortunately #1 also has the most "to lose" in this situation, for reasons completely out of his control. So whatever the outcome, hopefully #1 would not allow this situation to reflect on his value as a person. Besides, I'm certain #1 is great, I mean he's number ****ing 1.
Intricategirl Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 The posts of what she should do don't really have a lot to do with it. If she's flirting with Guy 2, she's already maybe not as emotionally into Guy 1 as she thought, and *should* has already gone out the window. In other words, she's still looking. Whether she realizes it or not.
xpaperxcutx Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 This is a common experience when dating. Suddenly there's a glut of "options" and a choice has to be made. The woman would be foolish to discard guy #1 for #2 if her time with #1 has been consistently enjoyable, and she's been excited for things in the horizon. In my opinion, ****ing around with #2 now would show very poor judgment, or inexperience. Unfortunately #1 also has the most "to lose" in this situation, for reasons completely out of his control. So whatever the outcome, hopefully #1 would not allow this situation to reflect on his value as a person. Besides, I'm certain #1 is great, I mean he's number ****ing 1. Sometimes that hardly matters.
welikeincrowds Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 Sometimes that hardly matters. He's number one papercut, okay?
Movingthrough Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 The woman would be foolish to discard guy #1 for #2 if her time with #1 has been consistently enjoyable, and she's been excited for things in the horizon. In my opinion, ****ing around with #2 now would show very poor judgment, or inexperience. I very much believe in this, its like her honor, you hit it off with someone else and now that someone else is becoming second place to a new toy, not really saying its wrong because it sounds like there are no "real" attachments to guy number one but let me tell you, he would not like the news if she told him this story. He probably has more feelings then she has let off. The posts of what she should do don't really have a lot to do with it. If she's flirting with Guy 2, she's already maybe not as emotionally into Guy 1 as she thought, and *should* has already gone out the window. In other words, she's still looking. Whether she realizes it or not. On the flip side i believe in this too. The fact that her mindset was even open to someone else after having a great time with #1, probably means #1 isnt as good as she thinks. Watch out for GIGS though, dont want to ruin something good with #1 because of a "possible" good time with the new one.
Ariadne Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 Assuming she's a reliable person and treats people right, how does she handle the situation? What does she tell the first guy? In the days that follow, if she started to get a lot of not-unwelcome contact from the second guy, is the first guy going to be left guessing? Girl meets Joe Doe and thinks there is so much chemistry, then she meets Joe Blow and there is also so much chemistry. I´d say guys should fight for the love of this girl since they are both kind of equal. Not sure which one she will pick, maybe even a third one.
Intricategirl Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 On the flip side i believe in this too. The fact that her mindset was even open to someone else after having a great time with #1, probably means #1 isnt as good as she thinks. Watch out for GIGS though, dont want to ruin something good with #1 because of a "possible" good time with the new one. I think I was maybe misread. I'm don't approve of such behavior at all. More just stating what I see as the facts of the situation. I may go out with multiple guys. But none of them are even getting a second date until I know which one I want to pursue. I don't like being led on, and I don't want to do it to anyone else. So if I can't narrow it down, maybe it's because I'm not into either of them. But if I have narrowed it down, I'm not going out and flirting. Sadly, there's a lot of people who don't operate this way.
Cee Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 Four great dates > some random guy who can talk smooth at a party. No question.
spice4life Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 Four great dates > some random guy who can talk smooth at a party. No question. ...guy # 2 should be declined.
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