Lynne-27 Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 (edited) Hi everyone, I am new in this forum and I find it so helpful. My boyfriend and I met in a training which I attended abroad. We both agreed to meet every three months by visiting me in my country. He was very keen to meet my close friends, especially my family though he knew that it takes so long for us to reach my hometown from the place wherein I work. He already went here for seven times. He was the first boyfriend I've had that I felt truly loved me and always would. He would anything for me and I also do for him. Despite of distance, we made it a point to communicate everyday and enjoyed things and/or shared difficulties together whether via online or on the phone. We have plans about marriage, business and a lot more about for the long term duration, and he helped me a lot when it comes to technical in information technology-related including financial when I started to have problems at work. There were some issues between us that made me think about having a pause in our relationship. I have found him lying a few times and he admitted, explained and apologized. I’m not sure if everything he told me was 100 percent accurate, but despite of those things I found out, I still forgave him. But recently, I found something again which bothered me a lot. Since I can’t get him to sit down with me for a few hours online due to some unavoidable reasons lately, I sent him email him about what I was thinking. I told him my observations about our relationship and suggested to have a pause for two to three weeks just to assess ourselves about what we really want. In that email, I did not talk about my personal feelings until both of us are ready to really sit down and listen with each other carefully. I suggested that we communicate ones a week to check our evaluation progress. I suggested the points that we can take a look at so both of us are in the same page. I even asked him to stop helping me in terms of financial and he was discouraged. He didn't feel the problem that I was talking about. He told me that the only main problem is the money because we can't see each other regularly as we planned (I lost my job and he closed his business almost at the saime time recently). Then he thought that I was blaming him for all the problems we have and don’t appreciate his effort at all. He wanted to know the real issue while we were talking on the phone. I told him that we can discuss on skype later on. To avoid high bill, I just apologized and hung up the phone. He felt bad based on his immediate SMS. Two days after our last conversation (on y birthday), I txted him to pass my sister’s message but I didn’t get any reply. In that evening, he sent me his cold birthday greeting. I thanked him and still updated him about things, but no reply from him. After a few days, I felt that the original issues which broght me into an idea of having a pause are gone. I already forgave him. I tried to call him many times one week after that period until almost two weeks ago but he didn't answer the phone. I also told him that I regret initiating the time off in my email. I feel guilty. I know I hurt him so much. I don't know what he's thinking... whether he hates me, trying to calm down himself, punishes me, still loves me or what... I don't know if he just waits for me to initiate the closure of our relationship or what... I don't know if he's just being distant for a moment or for life... I'm confused because if he hates me, why that the designated phone for his roaming number just for my SMS is still on? As of today. He can simply turns it off if he wants as almost no other person sends SMS to him from my country aside from my few close friends here who became his friends and my family. He also doesn't reply those friends who sent SMS to him. Usually whenever we had problems, he always told me that let's just take these problems or arguments as small matter. He's been very positive about things. Until now, he doesn't change our relationship status in Facebook and still uses our standard password in his email accounts. But his silence breaks me so much... It’s been 33 days now that we didn’t talk and 31 days since he sent his cold greeting. I don't know if he still wants to continue our relationship or not. Supposedly, we celebrated our two years and nine months recently. I tried to call him that day but he rejected it, so I just texted my greeting instead, but I didn’t get any reply. Then after 11 days, I texted him again as I badly need a number that stores in his phone, but still no reply. Is there anything I can do to know if he still loves me or not? How can I get him to talk to me? I hope someone can help me here. Your help is really appreciated. Thank you very much. Edited April 9, 2011 by Lynne-27
hoping2heal Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 Can someone verify that he is safe and okay..This sounds more like something happened to him than him just ignoring you.
Author Lynne-27 Posted April 9, 2011 Author Posted April 9, 2011 I'm sure he's still alive :-) because sometimes, he replies some emails in the mailing lists where I am a member. I can also see that his computer is on whne I log into his email account. I already sent a text message telling him to even give me a missed call if he's okay because I was worried about him. I did that 2 weeks after the last time we talked, but I didn't get anything back.Can someone verify that he is safe and okay..This sounds more like something happened to him than him just ignoring you.
Author Lynne-27 Posted April 10, 2011 Author Posted April 10, 2011 Help me please. I miss him so badly now. It's been 5 weeks that we haven't talked...
hoping2heal Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 Help me please. I miss him so badly now. It's been 5 weeks that we haven't talked... Okay, you have reason to believe he is safe and fine. I am sorry to say but if he has gone 5 weeks without even bothering to contact you, you just sound like an afterthought at this point. No man who is serious about you and cares for you would go 5 weeks without contacting.
creighton0123 Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 You celebrated a "2 years and 9 months" anniversary? How... odd... If you know he's alright, break up with him. He's being an *********. No real friend would go that long without returning a contact and he's supposed to be more than just a friend.
Author Lynne-27 Posted April 13, 2011 Author Posted April 13, 2011 Supposedly celebrated but it didn't happened... Just an update: My BF called back my friend (a male) who tried to contact him and he continued dealing a business transaction with him. My friend told me that he didn't give any instruction to him about the payment method. It means that the payment went into my bank account. As I saw a few minutes ago, he even logged into my account just to check if the payment is already deposited. I don't know what does it mean... Really... I want to move on but there's a part of me saying that he still loves me and cares for me...
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