thatdog Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 Post says it all. This might be the wrong place to ask considering the types of people that this forum is made for. But I was talking to a friend about this the other night. Are we ALL meant to share our lives with someone? Or are there people out there who really don't get that lonely being single and prefer is to being tied down to someone? I don;t mean when you are in your teens or twenties and looking to have fun. I mean over the course of your life from the day you decide to give up looking for someone till the day you die. You see a lot of single people in their 40s 50s and 60s who have never been married and a lot of them seem happy enough, but it's hard to tell if they are truly happy, or just made peace with the fact they haven't found an SO or maybe they just put up a front because they don't want others to feel sorry for them.
DollyGirl12 Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 First of all, I don't mind being alone. If someone is not treating me the way I deserve to be treated (respect, faithfulness, etc.) then I would rather be alone. I think it's harder to feel enjoyment being alone when a relationship first ends, because you are grieving. But for me, once I get through the grieving process I actually prefer to be alone, at least for a period of time. I can't remember where I heard this, or if it's actually true, but from what I remember hearing I think the statistics are that divorced women live longer lives and divorced men live shorter lives. Anyone ever hear that?
D-Lish Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 I was single for the better part of 8 years after my divorce. I was certainly lonley, it wasn't always easy. However, I've been in a relationship now for 5 months- and it's been challenging, sometimes draining, sometimes wonderful, so very full of ups and downs that I didn't have to go through when I was single. For me, being vulnerable is the most difficult thing I've ever had to do in my life, and I'm horrible at it. So yes, I do believe a lot of people can find happiness in being alone.
B.L.T_Sandwhich Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 I program my mind to think I'm happy alone.....but on a warm star filled night I wish I had her beside me.....then being alone is tough. That is usually when the 10 year old case of Ever and Clear make an apperance. Then alone seems worthwhile again.
Mrlonelyone Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 I was happily uninterested in dating anyone from 2008 to late 2010. To be honest I was happy that whole time. I did not even really feel lonely. I was just fine to be with me myself and I. It makes me wish I could have a procedure or take a pill that would make me not want to have a relationship ever again.
westernxer Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 You see a lot of single people in their 40s 50s and 60s who have never been married and a lot of them seem happy enough, but it's hard to tell if they are truly happy, or just made peace with the fact they haven't found an SO or maybe they just put up a front because they don't want others to feel sorry for them. Ever know any married people who put up a front? It's the same thing. Adulthood is complex by nature, so more power to those who can turn life's lemons into lemonade. Be grateful those people are well adjusted. The ones who aren't can be veritable nutcases.
mo mo Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 i dated this girl who was telling me she's happier alone. Mind you, this was our first date, and it was obvious she really liked me before I ever asked her out. Then as time passed after that first date she started acting strange, to the point where she started to avoid me. Very strange experience.
Mixed28 Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 I think the vast majority would want a good healthy loving relationship over being single. Sure you can be happy being single but being in a good relationship makes you more happy. What would be the point of getting in a relationship if you were equally happy being single?
Mixed28 Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 I was happily uninterested in dating anyone from 2008 to late 2010. To be honest I was happy that whole time. I did not even really feel lonely. I was just fine to be with me myself and I. It makes me wish I could have a procedure or take a pill that would make me not want to have a relationship ever again. Lonelyness kicking in? yeah it sucks.
betterdeal Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 I think the vast majority would want a good healthy loving relationship over being single. Sure you can be happy being single but being in a good relationship makes you more happy. What would be the point of getting in a relationship if you were equally happy being single? Seems to work for the Dali Lama.
Ruby Slippers Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 (edited) I am starting to think I might be one of those people. Maybe it's just crazy talk, but I can't seem to find a good match. So either there's something wrong with me or I just don't know what I'm doing when it comes to men. I've been single now the longest I ever have, 2 1/2 years. While there are some hard parts about it, like that you have to be really strong and take care of yourself all the time, and it can be lonely, overall, my life isn't any harder or less happy. Relationships challenge me emotionally and make me face things that are hard to face. I work on those things alone, too, but alone, I can take my time and just be. Do I wish I had a great guy in my life? Yes. But maybe I'm not going to get one, and I'll just have to make the best of it, anyway. Edited April 9, 2011 by Ruby Slippers
pandagirl Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 I'm sort of more comfortable being "alone," than in a relationship. Each one has its pros and cons. Of course, it's wonderful to feel loved and have that closeness and companionship, but relationships also bring other issues to the table that I don't have to deal with when I'm single. Would I be sad if I didn't have an active social life, friends or family? HELL YES! But, I have all those things, so feeling lonely is often more of a fleeting feeling for me, rather than a constant.
Mixed28 Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 Seems to work for the Dali Lama. I said the vast majority not all.
2sunny Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 I am starting to think I might be one of those people. Maybe it's just crazy talk, but I can't seem to find a good match. So either there's something wrong with me or I just don't know what I'm doing when it comes to men. I've been single now the longest I ever have, 2 1/2 years. While there are some hard parts about it, like that you have to be really strong and take care of yourself all the time, and it can be lonely, overall, my life isn't any harder or less happy. Relationships challenge me emotionally and make me face things that are hard to face. I work on those things alone, too, but alone, I can take my time and just be. Do I wish I had a great guy in my life? Yes. But maybe I'm not going to get one, and I'll just have to make the best of it, anyway. this is me. and i'm not looking for a broken man - i want someone who is happy and healthy mentally and emotionally... and it's not easy to find. but i will wait... it will happen. in my marriage - i always felt alone anyway - so at least this way i know i'm on my own... handling things myself... instead of the delusion that someone is there to support and love me when he's not at all. so - in reality - it's been a relief and a breathe of fresh air knowing what to expect - instead of expecting something and always getting less than nothing when i was with my H.
betterdeal Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 I said the vast majority not all. I know you did.
denise_xo Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 Or are there people out there who really don't get that lonely being single and prefer is to being tied down to someone? I think I belong to that category.
daphne Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 I wonder if that's me. I am actively looking for a relationship, however I'm not willing to settle if the guy can't add to my happiness. I would rather be single than with someone who makes me miserable. I am pretty damn happy alone. And I think I would be ecstatic with the right guy. But many of my relationships seemed to require me changing to fit their interests and lifestyles instead of being a compromise to fit each other's and I don't want to compromise myself for a selfish man.
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