ngo_ng Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 hey guys, it has been a while since I was on this forum, I guess it shows the progress I have made ever since the break-up almost a year ago. I basically used this website as a medium to express my feelings and emotions. It feels good to do so and to receive feedback from people who are compassionate about helping total strangers. I felt the need to update this post of mine since new chapters were added to this story since. continued from this thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t238917/ So far the time line goes as such: November 2007: I start dating my ex December 2007: I meet the family January 08-09: Me being a douche (somewhat unfaithful behavior) and but her still loving me. we work things out Jan-July 2009: Me being annoyed of her jealousy but realize she is the ONE August 2009: 3 weeks break while in another city. realization that I want to change for her Sep 2009- April 2010: I become more involved with various activities, school, and such while changing slowly to become less annoying towards her (reduce her jealousy) May 2010: Go on break again (for her it was a break up) June 2010: we get together, everything is perfect July 2010:...my father makes a misplaced comment, she breaks it up again...She starts seeing someone else while seeing me. August 2010: she dates him officially and breaks it off with me in most unpleasant manner. Update Sep: she keeps texting and emailing obscenities, I ignore Oct: she keeps calling around midnight often, we meet once. she complains about her new man. I call it quits, yet i still kiss her. She pushes me back yet she blushes and has a smile on her face. she drives me home and apparently she cries during her drive back to her house. Dec: (usually merriest moment of the year) she texts me and emails holiday wishes. I do not respond until few days later with wishes of happiness. January 2011: She tells me she still has feelings for me and wished things would have gone differently. she goes on a vacation to Cancun with her man yet textes me from Mexico saying she wished I was there instead. I laugh and reply text with: you're on vacation, you should enjoy it and make things work with her new boyfriend and wish her good times. She comes back to my city, makes a last ditch attempt to see me. after few days of seeing her beg, I accept to go see a movie with her and shopping. after few days, i accept her apologies and let her back into my life, she breaks up with him. February: Everything goes smoothly until she says that she never really gave the other guy a chance to change and that she had given me many chances already. she wants both of us (selfish imo) I tell her she has some issues and decisions to make and I am willing to wait it out but I will not put up with her BS. I do chase after her when she goes visit another city (driving 6 hours back and forth) just to make her realize my undying love and that I am ready to do whatever it takes to make her happy. I make a last statement when she comes back by giving her the surprise of her life. The decision she takes flips and flops constantly from day to day and she is unsure what she wants. March: she decides she doesn't want to be with me because she feels things will not evolve and she still has feelings for the other guy. I dont know what happen those 2 nor do I want to know. I start forgetting and dating other people just to live my own life again. Before I leave town for a competition, she calls me all stressed out and she says she wants me back badly. I tell her to wait out the the storm and wait until I return few days later to talk about it. I come back we talk it out but decide to wait till she is stable to even think about seeing each other. A week later she flips out and is jealous about me talking on facebook with her friend while me not accepting her friend request (i do not want to see her profile nor do I want her to see mine, more the first than the latter since I still love her so much and I do not want to be hurt). Last email she sent was saying that she decides to be single now just to avoid any more drama and she wishes me well and hopes I that I am happy with my future relationships whether it be with her or not and that I don't cause jealousy like i did with her in the past. We seldomly talk since, sometimes its a text or two or a poke on facebook (she still pokes me, and tries to have me accept her friend request which i leave pending)...god...women!! It is really true what they say... I can't live with them but I cannot live without them, especially this one in particular...she turns my life into a constant state of drama and chaos. Although I am seeing other people, she is still the only one I can truly say I love. I no longer write to ease the pain or to ask for direction, this time I write to express the ridicule of my life, laugh it off and hopefully find an end to the dizzying effect of this woman's indecision and emotional (hormonal maybe) distress. Anyone in the same situation? Or am I the only fool that is still love drunk enough to allow this to affect me? haha
mshummy88 Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 Nah man I'm right with you on this one. Me and my ex of 4+ years have been broken up for almost a year now and in this time I dated one girl which lasted 3 months and realized that my ex was the one I truely cared for and wanted. The ex on the other hand has been with three guys lasting about 2 months each. Her recent boyfriend broke up with her a week ago and she was somewhat upset. (I say somewhat because he was a complete jerk and would yell in her face and try and control her and such and she couldnt take it). During that week we hung out almost everyday just casual stuff like getting coffee and etc. until the weekend hit..He got back in contact with her and started seeing her after work before she went home. Then this whole week she's hung out with him almost everyday. He's asked her back twice and shes pretty much said no because shes overwhelmed by everything and also because he leaves in May for basic training. Thursday when i saw her at school I noticed her wearing the ring he gave her..so now I'm on the boat with you confused as **** and not knowing where to go from here
Author ngo_ng Posted April 12, 2011 Author Posted April 12, 2011 hi mshummy88, I guess in our situation, the women of our lives arent ready to commit and have issues of their own. Until they realize how great their life was with us and having lived without us for a while, nothing is going to change. After 6 months she figures out that the other guy was a rebound and that she still loves me. My mistake is thinking that 6 months was enough for her to see things through. Let us both learn from our mistakes, and work on ourselves to become better people and to distance ourselves from them. After living new adventures and gained new experiences over time will we be able to meet them face to face (if that ever happens) and talk casually. My experience tells me to avoid talking about relationships with your ex, it just kills the mood and attraction. When you do so, that only reminds them of the bad part of it which led to the break up, if you keep it fun then she will be attracted to you and give the couple a fresh start. That is my course of action. its going to be a long and bumpy ride but i am sure we can both tough it out. I was able to tough it out for 6 months after all, I just need to control my urge to talk relationship
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