Strength of Heart Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 When my ex of 2 and a half years broke up with me a month ago roughly, she seemed to show all the symptoms of GIGS. 1) When breaking up with me she seemed extremely confused, she still loved me but was obsessed with this idea of freedom at the same time. 2) She had recently began to drink, party hard, and hang out w/ old friends who have backstabbed her many times before. 3) Following the break up, she seemed to have been looking for any and all reasons to justify her breaking up with me and has told me how happy she is now and what not. Brings up my flaws and mistakes constantly, even though I have made positive changes for myself. 4) Today I found out, a month and a half after the break up, that she had developed feelings for another guy towards the end of our relationship. This guy has a GF and is a recovering drug addict. She hid this from me up until today. 5) Two days ago she texted me saying she missed me, missed us, and missed all the fun we had in our relationship. She said shes never been so confused in her life. She apologized for how shes been acting. Said she loved me so much. I tried responding and she told me to forget about it and that she just needs to be alone. She hasn't made any sense since the day we broke up. 6) After finding out about the other guy today, I bothered her with texts a lot. I was angry, confused, and in shock. I told her I'm sick of the other excuses as to why she broke up with me and what not and that I wish she had told me about her feelings for this other guy earlier, as clearly that is what really made her do it. She tried telling me that he wasn't the reason for the break up and that my flaws were part of the reason. I'm so confused, hurt, angry and lost. I don't know where to go from here. I want to bash my head into a wall right now. She was my first love and we both lost our virginity to one another. My life feels so strange now. I need help and advice. Appreciate it.
aypforever Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 This sounds a lot like me. I have found that the best thing to do when you don't know, is to just stop and don't talk to the ex. You need to figure out what you want and move from there. Don't play her game. She's telling you about some other guy to make you jealous. If you get jealous, you start to show desperation and all that. It's better to just leave it for a little while. She'll most likely start talking to you again. At this point, you just ignore her for awhile. Time to "move on." Even if you aren't ready to move on, you need to show her that you are.
Still Searching Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 Ok, new to all this. What does GIGS stand for? (Sorry. Probably a dumb question!) 1
timchambo Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 Call I what you want. This happens a lot. From my personal experience my current ex of nearly 8 years left for a guy. She's very confused right now. Havnt spoken or returned a text/call in 3 months. She continues to reach out but I havnt heard anything worthy of considering taking her back. I just don't see the point now. I'm still a bit tore up about it, but there are other women out there. Focus on what u need to do for yourself, because chances are by the time she MIGHT come back, you'll be in a better spot.
Irishlove Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 When my ex of 2 and a half years broke up with me a month ago roughly, she seemed to show all the symptoms of GIGS. 1) When breaking up with me she seemed extremely confused, she still loved me but was obsessed with this idea of freedom at the same time. 2) She had recently began to drink, party hard, and hang out w/ old friends who have backstabbed her many times before. 3) Following the break up, she seemed to have been looking for any and all reasons to justify her breaking up with me and has told me how happy she is now and what not. Brings up my flaws and mistakes constantly, even though I have made positive changes for myself. 4) Today I found out, a month and a half after the break up, that she had developed feelings for another guy towards the end of our relationship. This guy has a GF and is a recovering drug addict. She hid this from me up until today. 5) Two days ago she texted me saying she missed me, missed us, and missed all the fun we had in our relationship. She said shes never been so confused in her life. She apologized for how shes been acting. Said she loved me so much. I tried responding and she told me to forget about it and that she just needs to be alone. She hasn't made any sense since the day we broke up. 6) After finding out about the other guy today, I bothered her with texts a lot. I was angry, confused, and in shock. I told her I'm sick of the other excuses as to why she broke up with me and what not and that I wish she had told me about her feelings for this other guy earlier, as clearly that is what really made her do it. She tried telling me that he wasn't the reason for the break up and that my flaws were part of the reason. I'm so confused, hurt, angry and lost. I don't know where to go from here. I want to bash my head into a wall right now. She was my first love and we both lost our virginity to one another. My life feels so strange now. I need help and advice. Appreciate it.Brotha, if she is a recovering drug addict she has bigger issues than you. You need to step back and let her recover and that takes a good solid year and no you can not be her savior or there for her. Step back.
Hhhh Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 Brotha, if she is a recovering drug addict she has bigger issues than you. You need to step back and let her recover and that takes a good solid year and no you can not be her savior or there for her. Step back. you did to read his post again
fetish Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 I lost my ex of 8 years to her feelings of GIGs. I don't know of any other man involved (at least yet) but she did allow her addiction to gambling to take over her love for me. She basically up and decided she wanted to be free to do what she wanted without having to answer to anyone and stand on her own. Very different case after she put pressure on me for years to propose to her. When i finally did, she took that for granted. Ok, new to all this. What does GIGS stand for? (Sorry. Probably a dumb question!) Grass is Greener syndrome
Author Strength of Heart Posted April 8, 2011 Author Posted April 8, 2011 Brotha, if she is a recovering drug addict she has bigger issues than you. You need to step back and let her recover and that takes a good solid year and no you can not be her savior or there for her. Step back. she's not a recovering addict, the guy she has feelings for is. She does drink a lot though, not an alcaholic but when she drinks she gets absolutely plastered.
spice4life Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 Can someone tell me what GIGS is? Havent the faintest clue. However, reading the OP, I can say with absolute certainty I've haven't suffered from that. Confusion during NC yes, but GIGS, no.
loverboy1984 Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 GIGS= Grass Is Greener on the other side Syndrome These symptoms you described sound just like what happened to me. My GF of 6yrs kissed a guy she has a crush on and wanted a break afterwards even though she claims is not to see him but to do some self reflection and focus on school. All I know is I was committed to her and wanted propose soon yet she left me for a guy who she claims was engaged at one point then recently ended a 1yr relationship. So yea girls do this often it seems. What can you do? Nothing dont talk to them. Let them go and when they come back give it some serious thought because yes there are girls out there but she is no longer the girl you knew. 1
spice4life Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 GIGS= Grass Is Greener on the other side. Oh...lol. Should have known. Thanks.
Author Strength of Heart Posted April 9, 2011 Author Posted April 9, 2011 Bump Would like to hear from more who have suffered this kind of break up.
homebrew Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 Bump Would like to hear from more who have suffered this kind of break up. G.I.G.S. All the WAY! Read my entire thread about G.I.G.S. below in my signature! I lost my EX to G.I.G.S. a little over a year ago... Guess what... My 23 year old Ex is now burned out on the party scene and begging for me back. Our first "date" together is tomorrow... She is joining me on a community service event that I take part in... I haven't decided if I want her back or not... I am taking it slow... but if I do take her back... I will post my story. My advice... Click on my name and read all of the threads created by me. I have had every single one of my EXes (but one and we only broke up 3 years or so ago... She will contact me... one day) come back and beg for me back... I still here from girls I dated 15+ years ago (I'm 39 now).
Author Strength of Heart Posted April 9, 2011 Author Posted April 9, 2011 She is playing the victim and it's really upsetting me, shes making me look like an ******* and is being bitchy and confusing me. I'm so confused, frustrated and hurt. 1
Hopeless Girl Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 so what if u guys lost your virginity together? your acting pathetic,,, move on... when i dumped my 1st boyfriend i repented and went back then realized it was out of pity .. i dumped him again and never went back. and its her life if she wants to party and fall in love with other guys let her be. have pride man
Fufu Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 You have to start moving on, look at yourself now, being confused, frustrated and hurt. Is this what you want to be? She is not actively choosing you, in fact she's being with another guy. Move on and start NC, the longer you delayed moving on, the longer you stay unhappy and depressed. I know that being forsaken by our love is very hurting, however you do not want to come to the stage where you are the one hurting yourself.
Author Strength of Heart Posted April 9, 2011 Author Posted April 9, 2011 so what if u guys lost your virginity together? your acting pathetic,,, move on... when i dumped my 1st boyfriend i repented and went back then realized it was out of pity .. i dumped him again and never went back. and its her life if she wants to party and fall in love with other guys let her be. have pride man That was real kind of you. Because, you know, I'm supposed to just feel okay in this situation after finding out a month after my break up that there was another guy and that she has been stringing me along since the break up. Do I want her back right now? Not at all, I know it wouldn't work out. Its kind of hard to just throw two and a half years of great memories out and move on instantaneously like you seem to think I can do. Sorry but calling me pathetic was a bit low, I've actually handled the situation very well and have done many good things for myself but its not that easy to just let go of someone you love. I began NC today after we got in that argument and deleted her number. And sorry, but the person you lost your virginity to is a big deal to some people.
Hopeless Girl Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 That was real kind of you. Because, you know, I'm supposed to just feel okay in this situation after finding out a month after my break up that there was another guy and that she has been stringing me along since the break up. Do I want her back right now? Not at all, I know it wouldn't work out. Its kind of hard to just throw two and a half years of great memories out and move on instantaneously like you seem to think I can do. Sorry but calling me pathetic was a bit low, I've actually handled the situation very well and have done many good things for myself but its not that easy to just let go of someone you love. I began NC today after we got in that argument and deleted her number. And sorry, but the person you lost your virginity to is a big deal to some people. WOW! ..Grow up.. iM JUST saying
Author Strength of Heart Posted April 9, 2011 Author Posted April 9, 2011 WOW! ..Grow up.. iM JUST saying I don't think anybody here deserves to be called pathetic, that all im saying.
Hopeless Girl Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 I don't think anybody here deserves to be called pathetic, that all im saying. ok fine.. not pathetic... STUPID! i mean for christ sake man.. she was taggin u along while liking another guy... **** HER!!!! u can get someone better that will appreciate u for what u are.. not for what u can give
Author Strength of Heart Posted April 9, 2011 Author Posted April 9, 2011 ok fine.. not pathetic... STUPID! i mean for christ sake man.. she was taggin u along while liking another guy... **** HER!!!! u can get someone better that will appreciate u for what u are.. not for what u can give Yea I get that, I think today was what I needed to move on. I was stuck in limbo because I never knew about this other guy, but now I do and im very angry and upset. She's trying to hide the fact that is why she broke up with me by bringing up all this other crap like mistakes I made and what not. I'm just very angry and I don't know how to deal with it. I've started NC and I guess that is all I can do.
loverboy1984 Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 Be nice people.lol Im sorry to hear what happened to you and I bet in a few months when you read your post you will have a laugh. Im not saying its funny, just that you will get over it. Just go out there and have fun. its gonna be really hard. trust me I lost my GF of 6 yrs to GIGS and been in no contact for 1 month. and we are in a LDR. Theres no telling what goes on in their mind and you can force anyone to do anything. Just give her time and space and hope you get over her first. You may have lost your virginity to her but dont lose your dignity. Be a gentleman, walk away and tell yourself I can do this again and be a better person for a better girl. These are life experiences. trial and error. Heres what I have done so far: -Defriended her on FB - signed a contract for myself promising myself I will not contact her - wrote a letter to her expressing myself and telling her how what she did was so badly handled and then I saved it and DIDNT SENT IT TO HER. it was for me to vent. -pulled a chair in front of me and pretended she was there and told her everything to get it off my chest. - Talked to a psychic ( yea i was losing my mind) who told me she is in a rebound relationship which wont last and that she wasnt for me and will not come back but I will find the girl I will marry in Hawaii in 2014.lol - I surrounded myself with friends and family for support. -Cried. make sure you do this because you feel better. -Got angry and thought of all the bad stuff about her. - Thought of every guy doing her so I can get over the pain of imagining her with someone else. - Went on a date with someone but was very casual nothing serious. - Tried to check out other girls just so I can see how many better people are out there. -Work out, lost weight. -Studying. I hope this helps. Good luck to you
Author Strength of Heart Posted April 9, 2011 Author Posted April 9, 2011 Be nice people.lol Im sorry to hear what happened to you and I bet in a few months when you read your post you will have a laugh. Im not saying its funny, just that you will get over it. Just go out there and have fun. its gonna be really hard. trust me I lost my GF of 6 yrs to GIGS and been in no contact for 1 month. and we are in a LDR. Theres no telling what goes on in their mind and you can force anyone to do anything. Just give her time and space and hope you get over her first. You may have lost your virginity to her but dont lose your dignity. Be a gentleman, walk away and tell yourself I can do this again and be a better person for a better girl. These are life experiences. trial and error. Heres what I have done so far: -Defriended her on FB - signed a contract for myself promising myself I will not contact her - wrote a letter to her expressing myself and telling her how what she did was so badly handled and then I saved it and DIDNT SENT IT TO HER. it was for me to vent. -pulled a chair in front of me and pretended she was there and told her everything to get it off my chest. - Talked to a psychic ( yea i was losing my mind) who told me she is in a rebound relationship which wont last and that she wasnt for me and will not come back but I will find the girl I will marry in Hawaii in 2014.lol - I surrounded myself with friends and family for support. -Cried. make sure you do this because you feel better. -Got angry and thought of all the bad stuff about her. - Thought of every guy doing her so I can get over the pain of imagining her with someone else. - Went on a date with someone but was very casual nothing serious. - Tried to check out other girls just so I can see how many better people are out there. -Work out, lost weight. -Studying. I hope this helps. Good luck to you Thanks for the input, its nice to hear from someone in a similar situation and I really do want to get over it at this point.
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