Steven T Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 (edited) I have been with my first love for 3 years. Recently I decided to break up with her again, which isnt the first time I have. I sent her an email asking how we could improve the relationship and how she feels about me and our future. I received her email back and felt rather hurt, but I am glad she wrote it. After reading it and what she had to say I have realised that I am a very controlling person. Although I love her so much and have always tried my best for her, I didnt realise how controlling I have been to her over the course of our relationship. I always believed I should come first in the relationship and sometimes got annoyed when she would see her friends or had to work. I understand I havent treated her as good as I could have as she never did anything wrong to me. It has come to my attention that I am rather controlling as everything she wrote in the email was true but I just couldnt see it when being in the relationship. I have let her go and told her to be happy and live her life. I told her I hope she can find someone who isnt like me. Someone who isnt controlling like me, I love and care for her and want her to be happy so I let her go. Theres so much I am going to miss. Having meals with her. Going to the cinema. Spending time together. Going to carboot sales in the summer. Her picking me up from work then going back to hers to watch TV and make love in bed, followed by snuggling. Any advice on how I can cope with myself? She was my first love and I feel very sad. Edited April 8, 2011 by Steven T
nana841121 Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 We know ourselves better through relationships with others. You have learned your lesson from your first love Now work on your own issue. and move on First love is doomed to be a failure although it is also memorable
Author Steven T Posted April 8, 2011 Author Posted April 8, 2011 Thanks for your advice and I agree. I can learn for the next relationship. Like you said first loves dont really last, even when you do talk about marriage and spending the rest of your lives together. Any more advice? It was the toughest decison I ever had to make, but I am not selfish and want her to be happy.
homebrew Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 Thanks for your advice and I agree. I can learn for the next relationship. Like you said first loves dont really last, even when you do talk about marriage and spending the rest of your lives together. Any more advice? It was the toughest decison I ever had to make, but I am not selfish and want her to be happy. Click on my name and read all the threads created by me... Some awesome information contained in them. The attitude you have about letting her go so she can be happy is AWESOME! My Ex and I are going on our first "date" tomorrow (we broke up over a year ago) for a community service event that I taking part of... Guess who came crawling back? She did. So read my threads and you will give yourself the BEST chance of having the same happen to you.
Hopeless Girl Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 I have been with my first love for 3 years. Recently I decided to break up with her again, which isnt the first time I have. I sent her an email asking how we could improve the relationship and how she feels about me and our future. I received her email back and felt rather hurt, but I am glad she wrote it. After reading it and what she had to say I have realised that I am a very controlling person. Although I love her so much and have always tried my best for her, I didnt realise how controlling I have been to her over the course of our relationship. I always believed I should come first in the relationship and sometimes got annoyed when she would see her friends or had to work. I understand I havent treated her as good as I could have as she never did anything wrong to me. It has come to my attention that I am rather controlling as everything she wrote in the email was true but I just couldnt see it when being in the relationship. I have let her go and told her to be happy and live her life. I told her I hope she can find someone who isnt like me. Someone who isnt controlling like me, I love and care for her and want her to be happy so I let her go. Theres so much I am going to miss. Having meals with her. Going to the cinema. Spending time together. Going to carboot sales in the summer. Her picking me up from work then going back to hers to watch TV and make love in bed, followed by snuggling. Any advice on how I can cope with myself? She was my first love and I feel very sad. You want advice? If you really loved her you wouldve not left her. The End. get professional help
Thatguyintx Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 You want advice? If you really loved her you wouldve not left her. The End. get professional help Hopeless, I couldn't disagree more. Love alone does not make a relationship work. Compatibility plays into it as well. It sounds to me like they were not compatible to survive the long run. He took the very difficult steps to breakup and is now wishing her the best. I can't imagine a more loving action. Steven, my advice is to maintain that attitude. And keep on keeping on!
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