do sincere love letter and positive personal reflection bring her back?

[secondchancer]

Feel free to email me things and just be a friend really supportive either way!

 

 

Thank you Trevster for your friendship which I cherish.

 

To be honest I don't know anymore about my ex. we had a wonderful relationship, we never argued, we only discussed things instead. while the relationship was going, she did and said things that i never imagined she would back up from saying or doing. All the strength of her character that I enouraged and appreciated, she turned against me after breakup and she become so cold and firm.

 

During the life span of the relationship, if did not message her at least once in an hour she would think there is something wrong and get worried. Now if I message her even once a month she would become irritated and would push her away, at least that's what everybody is saying here. I am just in shock and disbelief. that makes me wonder if i go NC straight away i would be only confirming her original fear.

 

but yet i know after having expressed my true feelings to her, i know i need to give her a chance to miss me with NC... if she doesn't miss me naturally, or if she resists such feeling that means she must have her own reasons that i should respect out of my true love.

 

I do know about myself. I will not go to the dating scene shortly, because doing so would mean my feelings towards her were never true or could be easily replaced. but that's not the case because I think we had very special relationship that deserves to be given a better chance.

 

bytheway, what about love songs, why do we enjoy listening to them? how about if dedicate one of those songs to ex? would she be irritated too?

[secondchancer]

I sincerely wish you all the best of your journey in getting her back, I wouldn't say it's impossible, because anything can happen. However, in the process, do not and never neglect your well-being, health, family and career/business. I personally believe, if one is not happy, how can one gives happiness to their true love.

 

thank you for your best wishes Fufu, but there is something I would like to understand if you don't mind... it is about happiness... yes we can be happy alone... but we were not created to be happy alone... happiness has no meaning if not shared with a truely loved one... i can go to cinema alone and enjoy watching a good movie, I would enjoy it more if i watch it with a friend. but i would be truly HAPPY if i watch it with ex.

 

ok to have a partner, we should be generally healthy and happy before we meet them. but the greatest happiness is to be loved and be in love. this kind of happiness is mutual between truly loving partners.

 

Sometimes we meet someone and we feel she/he is the one. how we know? because we experienced this special happiness while the relationship lasted. I know i did. but something somehow happened and things changed. Unless i find out what really changed and that I can not fix it, then I would not give up. She said 'the reasons unclear for her'

 

We can not, at least from our dumpee part, just let go of this specially felt happiness easily. we have the right to fight for it honorably to regain that relationship back, even if we have to suffer more and lose in the end. That's what honorable means in my opinion.

 

so do you think happiness is all but one level? ie that kind of happiness that we can have alone?

[IfiKnewThen]

 

By the way, I think NC is complete and utter crap. NC is great if you don't want to hear from someone again...ever again...but if you truly feel strongly about this, you don't have to give up without trying.

 

Quitters never get anywhere. Perhaps it's time to man up and try to reach out and go for what you want rather then sitting idly by...

 

Just don't do it the wrong way..

 

amen to this. i completely agree with this. try first, then quit.

 

i am going to read the rest of the posts here but i just had to STOP and comment on this posters comment. i couldnt agree more

[IfiKnewThen]

to the original poster.

 

just for now and future references..read men are from mars women are from venus. or mars and venus on a date. actually try to read both. i think this reading should be mandatory in schools.

 

we learn things in school but nothing like we REALLY need to know in real life.

[Trevster]

@secondchance man everything you stated about you and your ex is the exact same as mine man she always told me how much she loved me and would never leave my side! She hated when we didn't talk like all day I would play my xbox and she alwAys wanted to text or for me to b at her apartment bc we came to college together! Iv told her all my feelings I seen het today at church we even passed my each other and I tried not to look at her she won't speak to me at all now she acts like we were nothing and it's so confusing! I honestly just want to know if she misses me that's it! I want her bCk so bad but just want to know if she misses me! Like I want to thank her for leaving me bc I now realize I don't need all these parties and girls n my life to make me happy I'm one realizing she is honestly what makes me happy so I will b ready the time comes bc they know how we feel about them and it will take NC for them to realize that they might have messed up you know man if u Love never give up if someone says it's hopeless make it a personal goal to show nothing is hopeless!!!!! I'm here anytime just make sure u honestly love her and need her not want and make sure your not just use to her being around hit me up anytime to talk we are in the same exact boat and neither one of us can paddle alone!

[Fufu]

secondchancer: I agree that fighting for our own love is great, and I do hope in a way my ex was like you guys, fighting for his love.

 

However, I only can say, please don't ever neglect yourself in the process of fighting for your love to come back.

[Trevster]

@FUFU if someone doesn't fight for love then you know it isn't meant to be if two ppl just end it and no one tries then it really isn't meant to be but if one person keeps the fight strong it can always prove to that other person maybe they are true! But ppl like me and secondchance can't leave ourselves open to just get used and be a fall back person we can't neglect ourselves like that! But my fight when ppl tell me it's hopeless I get a strong desire in my heartto prove all these people wrong and one day I can't wait to

Share my story of whatever the outcome on here for everyone to read wether we get back together or what goes on but when u know u know and you never give up a fight!

[IfiKnewThen]

@FUFU if someone doesn't fight for love then you know it isn't meant to be if two ppl just end it and no one tries then it really isn't meant to be but if one person keeps the fight strong it can always prove to that other person maybe they are true!

 

this makes so much sense. of course it could lack of good relationship skills to begin with that keeps people complacent and they dont know what to do. and its good relationship skills that destroy relationships in the end. so its circular.

 

i agree to 'appropriately fight for what the one you love'. if you failed them. show them love. communicate. not beg or plead or make them feel bad, but how can treating them like you did before work, if it broke you apart? if you can find out what you did or didnt do and own it , at last you can make peace with that attempt.

 

we get too comfortable. like they say, love is an action word. you have to show it, give it.

 

the bottom line is no one doing anything, likely wont result in anything. maybe in time when both people grow they can bump into each other again. but basically love is give and take. and someone has to at least initiate something...

 

just thinking out loud here.

[IfiKnewThen]

yikes!!! me and my stupid typos.

 

typo--->this makes so much sense. of course it could lack of good relationship skills to begin with that keeps people complacent and they dont know what to do. and its good relationship skills that destroy relationships in the end. so its circular.

 

correction: this makes so much sense. but also, it could be that lack of good relationship skills is what keeps people complacent and not talking to each other. and its that SAME lack of good relationship skills that destoy relationships in the end. so its circular.

[secondchancer]

If your ex told you once she/he loves you and cann't live without you, then later she/he brokeup with you without giving clear reasons, then you are ENTITLED to hear from her/him stating clearly that she/he do not love you anymore.

 

on that basis, is it fair question to ask her/him is this?

 

'DO YOU LOVE ME OR DO YOU LOVE ME NOT?'

I think this was said towards the end of the movie "eat, pray and love".

 

well if they tell us clearly they do not love us anymore and they moved on, then obviously, we should pack up and leave. but if they continue to give us unclear answer, it means there is more work to be done from our side to continue the fight. Personally i can not wait until she moves on.

 

I would be less hurt and will be able to make closure if she tells me she does not love me anymore than keeping me guessing for why she broke-up. all she told me is the reasons are not clear.

 

can anyone help in drafting such question in way that is fair and doesn't upset the other partner? what would be the senario?

[secondchancer]

If your ex told you once she/he loves you and cann't live without you, then later she/he brokeup with you without giving clear reasons, then you are ENTITLED to hear from her/him stating clearly that she/he do not love you anymore.

 

on that basis, is it fair question to ask her/him is this?

 

 

I think this was said towards the end of the movie "eat, pray and love".

 

well if they tell us clearly they do not love us anymore and they moved on, then obviously, we should pack up and leave. but if they continue to give us unclear answer, it means there is more work to be done from our side to continue the fight. Personally i can not wait until she moves on.

 

I would be less hurt and will be able to make closure if she tells me she does not love me anymore than keeping me guessing for why she broke-up. all she told me is the reasons are not clear.

 

can anyone help in drafting such question in way that is fair and doesn't upset the other partner? what would be the senario?

 

timing is important also. is it better to send ask such question during her working hours i.e. during lunch break. or is it better to ask such question before she retires to bed?

[Trevster]

Look man timing is everything my girl told me i was everything and she couldnt live without me and she loved me and all this man. Well we broke up and it wasnt that clear to me really why at first it was clear i thought it was all me and now i think about it i wonder how she dropped me out of no where she wont say hi or anything we pass by each other at church sunday and didnt say nothing to me. I want to say something to her bc i hate ignoring anyone but really i wont give up. Everything seems so negative but it can be turned into a positive. Her deleting me off her facebook and all our pictures i took as her making way for me to make a new beginning for her and start as friends again one day with her. I love her to death and i really know we are meant to be and this isnt her right now.

 

Timing is important i want to email her and tell her that im thankful she broke up with me bc its making me realize how i dont need parties and drugs and women and sex n my life to get by but i dont want ti message her that now. I know she knows i love her and i know she loves me. I would love to know if she misses me at least just her tell me but it all will tell with time. I have had all nothing but good signs even bad things i get good signs from. If you love someone you will be patient and you will never give up. The people that are just use to someone say they love them but they soon move on as time passes bc there not willing to be patient. LOVE IS PATIENT! Itsa test from god if you will still have faith in him that he can bring anyone back together. It all comes down for who is willing to fight and be patient for there love!!!!!!!!

[secondchancer]

Look man timing is everything my girl told me i was everything and she couldnt live without me and she loved me and all this man. Well we broke up and it wasnt that clear to me really why at first it was clear i thought it was all me and now i think about it i wonder how she dropped me out of no where she wont say hi or anything

I have exactly the same feeling as you Trevster. I am still in shock and disbelief that she never initiated a contact with me after breakup. I was the one who sends her messages sharing with her my heart felt reflections towards her.. and she would respond by saying she admires and appreciates me being open to her about how i feel. but she never gave me any positive sign that she may reconsider her decision. I guess she is afraid if she does, then I would continue to have hope and it seems she wants to move on and doesn't want me waiting uselessly. maybe she thinks i am being needy of her. but I am not. I am acting out of love a and loving is giving not taking... so i cann't be needy of her.

 

I think we will find the way, the right way, the key to her mind. there must be a key. also we will have patience. we will to give them time and space, but we should continue to say things that no one else has ever said or will ever say. it is like out of the true love we feel we should invent the way through. (by the way, i replaced all the "need" words with "will".

 

we should encourage each other postively and proactively.

 

i am thinking of this opening paragraph for a message.. just thinking out loudly...

 

"EX, now that i seem to have lost you, I realize i have nothing else to lose until i get you back..."

maybe we should help each other to draft "what should be a good letter"

[Trevster]

Yea man, I love her I have thought about if it's love or I'm just use to having her around! She tells me we need to move and all this other stuff but none of it seems like her! 3 years I know her pretty well I know what she does and doesn't do! So things are different right now it's hard when they don't respond to you! But like a week after our break up after church we talked and how I was expressing my love she said she was starting to feel bad for mw I don't want anyone to feel bad for me so I backed off we don't want to put them on a pedestal we need to show we can live without them but then againdon loose that feeling of how u care and be patient but I have learned I need to show myself that a person won't bring me down but I can bring someone back n my life all about timing!!!!! They will see sometime man it's love it never fails! A relationship love is different that family love and that will soon kick in man!

[Airick]

In the end, you have to follow your heart. If this relationship is meant to be, it is meant to be. Unfortunately, this is one of the few areas in life where you just do not have much control over the outcome. However, this does not mean that you and your ex will not get back together. It only means that she made the decision to break up with you for a reason. Whether your NC is "calculated" or not does not matter, as long as you are mentally prepared to be rejected again. This is why it is so important to focus on yourself during NC: work out, meet up with friends and family, take up new hobbies, and perhaps most importantly, go out and date new women, this has an incredible therapeutic value.

 

SecondChancer, I really cannot stress this enough. The more you push her at this stage of the breakup, the more she will push you away. You MUST allow her to miss you first. You MUST become emotionally unattached so that she does not associate you with the OLD relationship when you show up knocking on her door. You cannot fake a NEW you or enthusiasm, eventually your hidden motives will reveal themselves, and she will see right through you. You will crash and burn. Have patience; and I am positive everything will workout.

 

I can email you the book: The Magic of Making Up. Just let me know.

 

Cheers!

 

 

Could you email the book to me too please? [email protected]

[Tasha49]

Yikes. Do NOT send love letters to an ex. It is not only going to push them away further, but it will make her even less likely to want to come back. You're broken up. She chose that road, why would you send her love letters? It's going to make her uncomfortable and resentful towards you.

 

NC is your only option at this point. Stop sending the letters or any indication that you're even still into her. If she realizes she doesn't want to be without you then she will clearly tell you. You have nothing to lose at this point. So move on.

[secondchancer]

If she realizes she doesn't want to be without you then she will clearly tell you. You have nothing to lose at this point. So move on.

 

Tasha, I agree with you in concept that sending traditional love letters will push them back. I am not talking about I love you and cann't live without you classical type of letters. maybe i used the wronging terminolgy. I meant letters that show strong reasons for us to stay in a relationship that we both admitted was truly enjoyable.

 

in my case she didn't tell me CLEARLY why she broke up. that's why i am confused but yet trying to save what's left. am not ENTITLED to know clearly why?

 

one of the reasons she said that we grew distant with time and i was withdrawing even though she had to break my silence twice. Now I am trying to show her that withdrawing and being silent is not true in my nature. the only way to demonstrate the opposite is not to give up easily and to show her that i am still fighting for that relationship.

[Tasha49]

I understand what you mean and it is a thoughtful gesture. But if you KEEP sending her letters it honestly will drive her away. Why not send one last letter telling her that you only wanted her to realize she walked out on something you feel was amazing and rare? Tell her you do not want to give up on her and that you will be waiting for her if she ever comes to realize that what you had was worthwhile and worthy of growing. Tell her it is unfair of her to walk away with no given reason, and that she owes at least that much to you. Why not?

 

Your gesture is admirable but most assuredly only going to scare her rather than attract her. You are giving her no time at all to miss you. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. It works wonders and I honestly wish you would just listen to the female perspectives on this board. Give her space but let her know that you still care and see what you had worthy of letting grow. How is she going to have time to think, and time to realize what she had if you're constantly there?

 

Why not just straight up ask her why she broke up with you instead of hoping letters that are not even addressing the question? She is not going to magically wake up and say she wants you back, if you don't give her time. Let her think. Let her think of what it feels like not having you around.

[secondchancer]

I understand what you mean and it is a thoughtful gesture. But if you KEEP sending her letters it honestly will drive her away. Why not send one last letter telling her that you only wanted her to realize she walked out on something you feel was amazing and rare? Tell her you do not want to give up on her and that you will be waiting for her if she ever comes to realize that what you had was worthwhile and worthy of growing. Tell her it is unfair of her to walk away with no given reason, and that she owes at least that much to you. Why not?

 

Your gesture is admirable but most assuredly only going to scare her rather than attract her. You are giving her no time at all to miss you. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. It works wonders and I honestly wish you would just listen to the female perspectives on this board. Give her space but let her know that you still care and see what you had worthy of letting grow. How is she going to have time to think, and time to realize what she had if you're constantly there?

 

Why not just straight up ask her why she broke up with you instead of hoping letters that are not even addressing the question? She is not going to magically wake up and say she wants you back, if you don't give her time. Let her think. Let her think of what it feels like not having you around.

 

Tasha, thank you for your inspiration. the few lines that you stated is wonderful way to say such things on such occasion. I have been on 6 day NC since last communication with her. how long do you think i should wait more before sending what you suggested if your prefer going that route at all?

 

on another note i realize that all my past messages were emotional somehow which speak to her lower road which is the emotion whereas the type of message you suggested is cool and much better and speaks to the high road which is mind and reason.

 

Your view is appreciated.

[LCA1986]

Secondchancer,

 

Very interesting thread so far! I’d like to give my two cents on this subject. It’s really hard for me to give something up without a fight because of my personality. I am very persistent when I really want something and that was one of the main things my ex always said she liked about me… my perseverance.

 

My stance is… if you think you have a chance, go for it. It’s better to know you really tried your best instead of wondering “what if…” But if your ex (not your case specifically, but in general) has been very clear about not wanting to be with you anymore, then just walk away with dignity and give her the space.

 

With my current ex, I tried the letters, poems, flowers, I was even planning a romantic night picnic idea until I found out she had gone out on a date a couple of nights before my planned picnic and that was the wake up call for me. I was willing to keep trying and showing her how much I care for her, but I couldn’t take the fact that she could be out there dating while I was pouring my heart out to her and that was a deal breaker for me. She denied it and the last thing she sent me was “I still love and care for you, but you still haven’t shown me that you have changed. I still want you in my life and I wish you would at least try a friendship route with me”. I told her I needed some time before we could be friends and wished her the best of lucks.

 

I have to point out that I was trying all those things because when we broke up (due to a misunderstanding) she told me to show her that I could change my non romantic behavior and fight for her. She used to complain about how my easygoing attitude made her feel like I didn’t care enough. For example, we were sort of long distance but still managed to see each other almost every weekend. Some weekends, when she was busy, we had to cut the weekend short. I would always try to be understanding and not get mad about it even thought I was highly disappointed. She would take that as a sign that I was okay with the fact that we couldn’t spend time together when, in reality, I was just trying to be understanding.

 

I never did the picnic and sometimes I wonder if that would have made a difference or if I gave up too easily, but whenever I catch myself thinking that way I force myself to remember all my efforts during that whole month.

 

My humble opinion is if you think the fact that you never tried will bother you in the long run … then do it, at least for your peace of mind. But if it’s clear as water that she doesn’t want to have anything to do with you romantically, just walk away with dignity.

Edited April 12, 2011 by LCA1986

[secondchancer]

Secondchancer,

 

Very interesting thread so far! I’d like to give my two cents on this subject. It’s really hard for me to give something up without a fight because of my personality. I am very persistent when I really want something and that was one of the main things my ex always said she liked about me… my perseverance.

 

My stance is… if you think you have a chance, go for it. It’s better to know you really tried your best instead of wondering “what if…” But if your ex (not your case specifically, but in general) has been very clear about not wanting to be with you anymore, then just walk away with dignity and give her the space.

 

......

 

My humble opinion is if you think the fact that you never tried will bother you in the long run … then do it, at least for your peace of mind. But if it’s clear as water that she doesn’t want to have anything to do with you romantically, just walk away with dignity.

 

LCA, thank you for understanding my situation. the thing is i still have something burning in my heart towards her, and when i try to forget, i start dreaming being with her as if nothing has changed which keeps me in shock and disbelief. we really enjoyed being together and we never argued, we only discussed things.

 

i was withdrawn towards the end of the relationship and she couldn't handle it. my disadvantage is i was a stranger to her friends' circle. so she was the one planning the fun activities with her friends most of the time and many times i declined to go so she would end up going alone. also i lost my job in between which made me feel down and became less attractive, even though she tried to be supportive in the beginning.

 

I admit i had the wrong attitude towards the end of the relationship even though we had a wonderful beginning. she was planning a romantic 3 days out at a resort as valentine gift but i wasn't so enthusiastic about it and she had to cancel it one week before break up. now in hindsight i think she wanted to revive our relationship but somehow she changed her mind and quit on trying to change my negative attitude.

 

i know where i went wrong, that's why i am looking for a second chance.

 

i got emotional after breakup because i felt everything was going in the wrong direction. that made me look as weak person who could not function under stress. but those were exceptional times and the lowest in my life cycle so far, even though i had eventful life and i was alway resilient.

 

if i give up on her now it means i will be giving up on the best thing that ever happened in my eventful life.

 

that's why i am doing my best now to reverse the time clock after having sent her a series of emotional letters which turned out to be not effective.

 

i know i can be happy again and move on without her, but i do not see the point in doing that now because I can do it any time later.

 

the majority of the board here recommend to go for NC. my worry is maybe after 8 weeks of NC my feelings will not be the same or may naturally die and then i will miss the chance of telling her my heart felt personal reflections that burn in my heart now.

[IfiKnewThen]

i really believe that when you really know that you were wrong and ran a relationship into a ditch you should own it and its healthy to do so. she may not still want you back but you owe it to yourself and her to be forthright. not begging. not putting head trips on her but to own it and say what you are telling us. thats she is in fact the best thing that ever happened to you or she made your life richer. that even though you were demonstrative in acting all depressed all the time, you were happy with her and you know you should have showed her . that you reflect a lot now and dont expect ANYTHING of her...but that you wish you had better relationship skills at the time to not let this run into a ditch. that you see all of her efforts and appreciate that she tried when she did. (if this is how you feel of course).

 

i dont think repeating history or not talking makes for them running back to you. so do all you can without being stalkish or annoying. you can be honest loving and tender. but dont lay guilt trips on her..and be all blaming. pray on it for guidance because you believe in that.

 

if you know you did all in your heart...then back off after that and move forward with your life one day at a time. you can also let her know this is not a effort to go back to her or make her go back to you, but rather to apologize for what you feel you did or didnt do and let her know if you could take back the hurt and disappointment you would. i think personally that is admirable. then maybe to the whole N/C thing.

 

if you have done all of this already, i dont know. i havent read the entire thread here. its not just what you do, but HOW you go about it, and the timing of it all. dont wait too long. dont make them feel all guilty. dont beg and plead. just be real. shoot straight from the heart with your head

[Tasha49]

Tasha, thank you for your inspiration. the few lines that you stated is wonderful way to say such things on such occasion. I have been on 6 day NC since last communication with her. how long do you think i should wait more before sending what you suggested if your prefer going that route at all?

 

on another note i realize that all my past messages were emotional somehow which speak to her lower road which is the emotion whereas the type of message you suggested is cool and much better and speaks to the high road which is mind and reason.

 

Your view is appreciated.

 

Even though you have already tried to fight, giving up is not giving up your fight for her; you're waiting for a fight back. So do not think stalling your attempts make you look as if you've given up. You're not giving up if you tell her she still means the universe to you and if she finds it in her heart to give you a second chance, then it would mean everything to you.

 

Do not go NC without closing your attempts. Like I suggested, maybe write her one last closing letter, letting her know you are waiting for her because she is the only one you have ever felt so perfect with. Tell her you are sorry for all that you failed to be in the end and that you took her for granted. Tell her it has changed your realizations and has woke you up. Also let her know that you tried your all fighting for her but she gave no fight back. Let her know that she is worth a million fights, and you will leave it up to her to take that next step.

 

You have said it yourself. You basically gave up on your part of the relationship toward the end. So you put all the weight of carrying a relationship on her back. What you gave up she had to pick up and carry. There IS a reason she walked away. Maybe she didn't want to hurt you and put even more on your plate by telling you the truth. But tell her you are ready for a reason. And that whatever it was, you are truly and forever sorry for everything.

 

But she is also at fault in this. If who you became in the end was too much for her then she should have COMMUNICATED to you and told you that it was hurting her. She should have worked with you instead of giving up without reason. So shame on her.

 

You may not want to hear this, but sometimes it takes losing someone you love to realize necessary change. This could be a learning experience; now you know what you need to change so that the next girl who walks into your life can be treated like a princess. So that you will not make the same mistake twice.

 

After your last attempt, leave it at that. If she really loves you and sees what you had worth fighting for like you do, she will come around. But it takes two people to put a relationship back. You're the only one trying. Give yourself to someone who can fully appreciate you.

[Tasha49]

As for when to send this last attempt; that is up to you. Whether it a week, 2 weeks, or a month. But it should not be too long. She will think you gave up. I would suggest at least after one full week of NC. After that, it is up to you. You can even choose to keep it at NC and never send her anything again if you so choose, and if NC is working for you.

 

Do what feels right in your heart. Because no matter what any of us say in here, this is YOUR life. Do with it what you feel is right. Sure, I recommend you take what we have said into consideration, but in the end it is your heart. We're simply trying to help.

[IfiKnewThen]

Even though you have already tried to fight, giving up is not giving up your fight for her; you're waiting for a fight back. So do not think stalling your attempts make you look as if you've given up. You're not giving up if you tell her she still means the universe to you and if she finds it in her heart to give you a second chance, then it would mean everything to you.

 

Do not go NC without closing your attempts. Like I suggested, maybe write her one last closing letter, letting her know you are waiting for her because she is the only one you have ever felt so perfect with. Tell her you are sorry for all that you failed to be in the end and that you took her for granted. Tell her it has changed your realizations and has woke you up. Also let her know that you tried your all fighting for her but she gave no fight back. Let her know that she is worth a million fights, and you will leave it up to her to take that next step.

 

You have said it yourself. You basically gave up on your part of the relationship toward the end. So you put all the weight of carrying a relationship on her back. What you gave up she had to pick up and carry. There IS a reason she walked away. Maybe she didn't want to hurt you and put even more on your plate by telling you the truth. But tell her you are ready for a reason. And that whatever it was, you are truly and forever sorry for everything.

 

But she is also at fault in this. If who you became in the end was too much for her then she should have COMMUNICATED to you and told you that it was hurting her. She should have worked with you instead of giving up without reason. So shame on her.

 

You may not want to hear this, but sometimes it takes losing someone you love to realize necessary change. This could be a learning experience; now you know what you need to change so that the next girl who walks into your life can be treated like a princess. So that you will not make the same mistake twice.

 

After your last attempt, leave it at that. If she really loves you and sees what you had worth fighting for like you do, she will come around. But it takes two people to put a relationship back. You're the only one trying. Give yourself to someone who can fully appreciate you.

 

i agree with this advise 100%