Avaa Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 (edited) I haven't had a whole lot of experiences with males so I am a bit lost as to what this guy is trying to do: Usually he gives me some form of the silent treatment or cold shoulder but I've noticed SOMETIMES If I do talk to him a bit he tries to get my attention etc., and when I do pay him attention he cracks mean-spirited "jokes" or makes fun of me(He told me I am a funny person and that he likes me "too much" to be mean . I beg to differ). He has a lot of animosity towards me. Sometimes, when he sees I talk to him(if I have a question) then he'll turn like this. He says it's fun to see me mad because it is funny(he's obv. immature). And if I ignore him then he knows he got to me and that gives him sick pleasure(IMO). if I respond back he knows it's affected me and that too gives him him sick pleasure. I rejected him a while back(not even in a harsh way!) and I feel like he's holding baggage. He's been rude and disrespectful(a bit) these past four months since the rejection. And NOT friendly. Some say he likes me and is trying to act cool but I think he's holding a grudge on me and trying to make me feel bad. He used to be really nice before and actually had common courtesy. I am planning on ignoring him and he isn't a horrible person or anything. He's not shady or conniving, etc., but he is immature and I don't like how he is treating me so I am going to cut ties(as in let him know I really do not want to interact with him). Can anyone tell me why he is the way he is so I can discuss it with him and know I really don't want anything to do with him(he's in my classes so I am forced to see him almost everyday). AND he has a girlfriend which makes it all the more confusing. He shouldn't give a damn about me. P.S. No we're not in HS. We're in college. Edited April 8, 2011 by Avaa
utterer of lies Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 He liked you, you rejected him and that's the way he expresses it. You can't really talk to him - I mean you can, but nothing you say will really make a difference. You cannot solve everything with talking. Just avoid him.
BeginAgain Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 For too many, mean spirited joking is a form of flirtation when a man does it, and it works on quite a few women. You are one of them. You couldn't stop talking to him even though he had insulted you. Women like you hate relationships without some sort of conflict. Your kind like to fight and have a man to fight with. It might be some sort of barbed cat penis complex where you derive pleasure from pain or that women need everyone to love them so you feel it is necessary to patch up this "broken" relationship. The kind of guy you like acts like an ass to you, you pout, he thinks that's cute, he does it some more to keep you interested, and you continue to show a receptiveness to his negative advances. If you had never responded as if you were looking for this abuse in the first place and ignored him when he got this way then he would have stopped. He had your number from the first moment you reacted and persisted in taking part in this cycle. If this disrespect after the rejection is similar to what he did before then he is trying harder to get you back on the treadmill and revive your desire in him. You responded to negative stimulation positively before so you should be able to again. He'll continue because he thinks he has a chance. He might be with another girl but that doesn't mean his libido is dead and it doesn't mean your own libido understands he is already involved otherwise you wouldn't have taken a shine to him. All straight guys have a degree of animosity toward women because men want sex, women deny men sex, women make you think they want sex but don't, women enjoy making men hurt, and women love putting men on emotional roller coasters and jerking them around in other ways. It is quite healthy for men to hate women because it keeps them on their toes around what they desire. It comes down to the basic principle of man needs fire, fire burns man, and man needs to be careful with fire. Though that's not really the case here. What you are interpreting as animosity is actually a mating dance that up until now you participated in. He is trying to strike up the same dance again since I doubt you honestly and completely rejected him.
Author Avaa Posted April 8, 2011 Author Posted April 8, 2011 BeginAgain-I initially thought it was because he was angry over the rejection so he is holding some type of grudge against me. And acting like an ass because of it:confused:
Ross MwcFan Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 Sounds as though he's doing this to make himself feel better or as a way of 'getting back at you' because you rejected him. He sounds like a cock.
BeginAgain Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 BeginAgain-I initially thought it was because he was angry over the rejection so he is holding some type of grudge against me. And acting like an ass because of it:confused: That might have been true if he didn't use negativity to get a positive response and that you didn't take something away from his negativity that keeps you coming back for more.
Feelin Frisky Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 He sounds like an @sshole to me. It's all about him and he's wrapped up in a power trip of one-ups-man-ship. He may think that's cute but apparently you don't. I wouldn't say this is just plain immaturity--it's a complex which involves a dialog with himself that is consuming him. Don't walk, RUN. You don't want to get caught in this complex web of delusion and contentiousness. I'll send you an invoice for my expert opinion.
somedude81 Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 I think he's still hurt from the rejection. Just leave him alone.
Author Avaa Posted April 8, 2011 Author Posted April 8, 2011 Thanks everyone for responding..but one more thing..WHY would anyone do this? because it makes me think if he was truly over me then wouldn't he want nothing to do with me?
somedude81 Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 Who initiates most of the conversations? You or him?
mitchell Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 Sounds like a jerk. Avoid this guy. Life is too short.
Author Avaa Posted April 8, 2011 Author Posted April 8, 2011 Who initiates most of the conversations? You or him? Him..majority of the time. There was a period a few weeks ago when he was treating me pretty normal so I spoke to him a bit(for a few seconds, I was giving out food that I didn't want and offered him something). I guess he took advantage of that and decided that because I was making an effort to talk to him that he can be mean. And believe me..this guy KNOWS how he is acting. I realized that since the four months have passed he wasn't making any effort to turn me into a friend so he shunned me out of his life. And then now he is doing all of this out of attention it just makes one confused. It kind of sucks because before all of this we got along very, very well.
Author Avaa Posted April 8, 2011 Author Posted April 8, 2011 @ Mitchell-I usually do. I am starting to wonder if me ignoring him and talking to everyone else makes him angry because it shows my life is fine and dandy without him. I am guessing that he is looking for a reaction. Sometimes when he does initiate something I keep it short. BUT, he tends to drag it out so out of common courtesy I go along. I try to make it friendly as possible such as if he went to this festival or heard this song, etc., But he doesn't like that it is friendly. No, he ignores it and "playfully" insults me. You can't keep it normal with him.
somedude81 Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 Him..majority of the time. There was a period a few weeks ago when he was treating me pretty normal so I spoke to him a bit(for a few seconds, I was giving out food that I didn't want and offered him something). I guess he took advantage of that and decided that because I was making an effort to talk to him that he can be mean. And believe me..this guy KNOWS how he is acting. I realized that since the four months have passed he wasn't making any effort to turn me into a friend so he shunned me out of his life. And then now he is doing all of this out of attention it just makes one confused. It kind of sucks because before all of this we got along very, very well. If he is the one who is initiating most of the conversations and tries to keep them going, then he's just being rude and spiteful.
sigurpol Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 I never understood this stuff.. maybe when I was younger, but, man... Anyway, I haven't read the other comments yet, I'm assuming I'm on the same page. Classic case of (like you said), him probably having a chip on his shoulder now because you rejected him. As far as him still trying to zing you, I feel like he get's both worlds by doing that. He may resent you for turning him down, so he gets to "playfully" (by saying playfully, that excuses any negative stigma to his remarks, thus you can't fire back because it's all fun and games! Right?!.. but that's BS logic) tease you. In addition to the teasing, he still gets your attention from it. Someone who does that gets satisfied on both ends. Attention, and his turn to frustrate you, like he was in the past. But, this is all speculation on my end. It's silly. If you're willing to and have the chance, I would tell him to knock it off. Or, not say anything at all. Yea, just ignore him. What a bafoon.
Author Avaa Posted April 8, 2011 Author Posted April 8, 2011 I never understood this stuff.. maybe when I was younger, but, man... Anyway, I haven't read the other comments yet, I'm assuming I'm on the same page. Classic case of (like you said), him probably having a chip on his shoulder now because you rejected him. As far as him still trying to zing you, I feel like he get's both worlds by doing that. He may resent you for turning him down, so he gets to "playfully" (by saying playfully, that excuses any negative stigma to his remarks, thus you can't fire back because it's all fun and games! Right?!.. but that's BS logic) tease you. In addition to the teasing, he still gets your attention from it. Someone who does that gets satisfied on both ends. Attention, and his turn to frustrate you, like he was in the past. But, this is all speculation on my end. It's silly. If you're willing to and have the chance, I would tell him to knock it off. Or, not say anything at all. Yea, just ignore him. What a bafoon. I agree with your post and everyone else. But...it's been four months and he has a girlfriend. Isn't it too weird?
BeginAgain Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 No, it is time you just have sex with him. You have shown you can't truly distance yourself from him. If you are going to continue being in this love triangle you might as well get something out of it. Ask him to your place and pull out all of the stops. Maybe then you can get over him and get him out of your system. More than likely it will solidify the connection between the two of you.
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