SadInSilence Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 No, not because I don't want to do NC. Its just that I have to see this person several times a day, several times a week. The break-up was initiated by her very recently and I tried to start NC almost immediately (~2 days after). Imagine having to be in the adjacent cubicle with your ex, and having to work on the same projects with her at work. As best as I can describe my situation. How should I handle a NC thats impossible? Thanks, SadInSilence
nana841121 Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 yes you are limited by your working situation. It's quite hard for you to walk away from ex. since you see her on a daily basis
Fufu Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 The no contact can still apply as long as the communication is only about work since you have to work with her on some projects. Anything that is not about work, best is not to communicate with her.
smudge21 Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 There's been another thread similar to this where the guy works with the ex, and I myself have been there before. It took a long time but eventually I was able to accept the situation. It's so much more difficult to go NC when the person is right infront of you every day, but it can be done. Like mentioned above, keep communication to work only. Be friendly but don't engage in anything about the past (you don't want to make it worse). If there's any sign of any flirting or she starts trying to see if you're still interested (which she may do if you start showing her you no longer care) then don't fall for it. Continue to act positive (even if you do feel low) around her. Start talking with other groups, maybe even to other girls. Nothing serious, just friendly stuff. Anything really that can distract you from the ex. Finally just accept that your healing will take a lot longer then most but it will come. Just understand that you'll have good and bad days but eventually it will get better. Good luck.
Sheppy99 Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 There's been another thread similar to this where the guy works with the ex, and I myself have been there before. It took a long time but eventually I was able to accept the situation. It's so much more difficult to go NC when the person is right infront of you every day, but it can be done. Like mentioned above, keep communication to work only. Be friendly but don't engage in anything about the past (you don't want to make it worse). If there's any sign of any flirting or she starts trying to see if you're still interested (which she may do if you start showing her you no longer care) then don't fall for it. Continue to act positive (even if you do feel low) around her. Start talking with other groups, maybe even to other girls. Nothing serious, just friendly stuff. Anything really that can distract you from the ex. Finally just accept that your healing will take a lot longer then most but it will come. Just understand that you'll have good and bad days but eventually it will get better. Good luck. Much agreed I went through this last summer and it was tough. Try your best to avoid her but don't over do it. So when she's walking by you, just smile and say hi. Don't be too chatty as others have said. Personally when my ex walked by me at work while I was sitting at my desk, I would get a pain in my stomach. It will go away though and you'll be a stronger person for it. Once I finally got fully over my ex in 2 to 3 months, I was fine. Was actually even able to become friends with her and hang out and no big deal. Unfortunately our friendship has hit the skids due to I think me being so moved on. I mention other girls to her not to try and be a dick but just cause I honestly see her as a friend and that's all. You will get there too. You can still have NC when you work with her, it'll just be a different version of NC for you as it was for me. Trust me I was pretty broken up too. Considered getting another job but reality set in and I snapped myself out of it. Just accept your healing process is going to take a little longer and you'll be ok.
Trovador Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 As someone with a string of workplace romances I know what you're going through... the hardest part of NC under these circumstances is that is easier to break it or at seeing your ex, your resolve falters... Above all, don't play any game with her, be natural, be yourself... nothing of "I'll do this or go this way because she might or might not see me...", but if you are going to put an act, show yourself as a happy, creative, mature, winner, etc. person... Better, you should be (or work hard to be) that person... On the other hand, exes in the same workplace see how fine you are doing and how special you are (and how you don't want anything to do with them) so they will feel sorry for their decision for a very long time... ha ha! I am currently in NC with a colleague and I feel great; I don't want, need or expect to contact her and I won't do for sure... I'm the king of the office!!!!!!!!
longterm Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 I've been in this situation 5 times in my life. Each one with a different issue as I always thought it would work. Never again date at work. You will have to just do what everyone here says. Ignore her personally and just stick with the professional attitude. Stick with the work itself. I had to do this once and that X even started dating another guy AT WORK. I've had all types and you think it would work but never does. I hope that doesn't happen to you but for now, keep it pro. Ignore her as much as you can and just do your job. If it gets to be too much, take a vaca and say nothing about it other than where you are going. Let her be in suspense. That's a very tough situation you're in. However, I think that most of us here that are going through a break, would actually want to be seen by their X. I know I would at least a little. I'd dress well and act as if I was having a great time with myself. I would even talk about it with others even if the stories weren't true. haha. Just to look like I am doing well. It's the same as just having the NC or LC. When there is finally contact, we all want to look good and do our best to work it out either way. So, look good, act great. Keep it pro in the office. Keep your mind on the job so no screw ups. Then you may find she's thinking you're cool. Cause you ARE!
Author SadInSilence Posted April 11, 2011 Author Posted April 11, 2011 Thanks for the support guys. Question for those of you who have been in a similar situation: has she ever asked for you back? Reading several posts gives me the impression that she can only miss you if you aren't there... unfortunately that just isn't possible for at least the next several months.
smudge21 Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 It's hard to miss someone if you see them all the time. However, I wouldn't say it's impossible as seeing them and being with them are two different things. I wouldn't hope for it though, as you'll drive yourself crazy. Your situation is already bad enough without having this hope in there.
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