Jerrica Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 day 5 NC, so many flashbacks, the good the bad and the ugly. Worst is I was in an abusive relationship, now when I look back at all the things that happened, the memories of being scared *****less of him thinking he was going to beat the crap out of me (which he had threatened). The holes in my walls are painful reminders and how scared my dog was of him. It hurts that I let it go on for so long, that anyone could treat someone that way and then letting myself be in DENIAL. I know my dog and I are better off, but it still HURTS like nothing else. The heartache is almost worse than the pain from all the abuse (emotional, verbal, a small amount of physical) and then for him to just walk out like I'm nothing. Some days I feel so completely worthless this truly sucks.
JasonRules Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 day 5 NC, so many flashbacks, the good the bad and the ugly. Worst is I was in an abusive relationship, now when I look back at all the things that happened, the memories of being scared *****less of him thinking he was going to beat the crap out of me (which he had threatened). The holes in my walls are painful reminders and how scared my dog was of him. It hurts that I let it go on for so long, that anyone could treat someone that way and then letting myself be in DENIAL. I know my dog and I are better off, but it still HURTS like nothing else. The heartache is almost worse than the pain from all the abuse (emotional, verbal, a small amount of physical) and then for him to just walk out like I'm nothing. Some days I feel so completely worthless this truly sucks. Jerrica, no one should have to go through what you went through. Do not fret or worry. We're here to support you and help you get through this. I was feeling like crap as well 4 weeks ago, but it will get better. I promise. Your ex, is like a drug. You become addicted to him and even though you know he's hurting you, its hard to quit them. You're going through withdrawal right now and its painful, but you need to be strong. Every morning when you wake up, go to the mirror and say the following: "<His name> will NOT LET YOU BREAK ME OR STOP ME FROM LIVING. I am a beautiful person" Say it with anger or whatever emotion you're feeling at the time.
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