fishtaco Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 I have a male friend who's a couple years younger than me and has likely dated ten times the women I have in my life, yet I've had 3 LTR's and one ten year M. The difference? He's good looking, successful and *very* picky; 50 and never married and I daresay far, far beyond 100 dates. Myself, an 'average' guy, maybe 25-30 dates (over 30 years) and I didn't date all that much. Probably half to two-thirds of those dates were from online dating, mainly back in the 90's. Two datapoints One of my friends read a book about "having options". The premise is having too many options makes a person miserable. Because then the person is obsessed with "making the right choice". I believe that's true. Even with my own transformation. For simplicity I'm just going to split into two decades. First decade, I was a dork, lacking in social skills, nice guy , didn't understand style, and really skinny (my natural body type). This decade, I've learned the game, I'm no longer a nice guy, I've worked really hard to put on muscle mass, I actually spend money on nice clothes now, and, because I'm older, I have more money. So my dating value has increased drastically compared to before, so has my options. Not that I'm anything compared to your good looking friend. In the grand scheme of things, all I did was to progress from suck to not suck. I not-suck enough now that I have a number of women, including "Red" that I mentioned in a recent thread, that are interested in me. And I would have gladly dated them if I were the me of the first decade. But I'm a new decade me now. I have more options - here's that tricky word. And so I'm choosing to exercise my options. But the flip side of this argument is if I were the same me as the first decade me, it's entirely possible that Red would not have been interested in me. And she would be here on LS complaining about how male friends shouldn't hit on her. So while this "options make you miserable" concept makes sense to me, seems like it's a precarious balance of what's considered settling and what's considered too picky...
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