shirusu Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 Greetings! I am 15, and in love with a 17 year old. As I am not professional when it comes to girls, but I know how to make them laugh or whatsoever, I need some help. The reason I will give this a chance is because I think she kinda likes me. But the fact that she is 17 is making me confused. Will she ever get a boyfriend who is 15? We don't know each other well, and I kinda only talked with her a few times. Well, I do make her laugh, she hugs me sometimes and she smiles, but I am not entirely sure thats enough. Could some told me how I can detect if she even is interested? I have her on Facebook, but virtually it's hard. I used to be good at it, but now I just cant figure out how to do it anymore. Like, what to talk about? I would really appreciate some guiding, cause she is kind cute. I've only been alone with her like 1 time, and we had a pretty nice conversation on random topics, but what if I ever run out of topics to talk about? HELP PLEASE!
Sabali Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 Well, you young guys never listen to the input here anyway but I guess I have to give the benefit of the doubt... Guys always ask "does she like me" or "how can I tell if she is interested?" Consider this, while I was growing up, the guys I grew up with never really asked these questions. It was until the internet got going before I realized that men were very concerned about this before they approached a lady of interest. For as far back as I can remember, if the young men I grew up with were walking around the neighborhood and saw a girl walking on the street that caught our interest, we would just go over, introduce ourselves, and started talking to her. Now, if we were lucky, we would get her phone number and call her or get to walk with her to her destination all while establishing a rapport. We didn't know her so we knew she was not interested in us because she didn't know us. It was our job to get her interested. We were young men just like you. My point is this: It doesn't matter whether you can tell if she is interested or not. What is more important at this point is that you are interested in her. That is all that matters. Now, your job is to show her that getting with you would be a great thing, it is something that she wants, and it will make her happy doing so. So, I urge you to forget about her interest level for now and just make a move. Whenever you are interested in a young lady, just make the move. Worry about her interest level after you have made your move and spent time with her. That is when her interest level will come into play. It means nothing now. As far as running out of things to say, I will advise you to start doing something every single day for the rest of your life starting now. Make this a habit. Begin reading the newspaper every single day. It will keep you in touch with all of the hot topics in the news and cover almost any ground that can possibly arise during a conversation with anyone. It will make you very informed and solidify your confidence in holding a conversation with anyone for a very long time. Don't just read the articles, but starting discussing them with other folks regularly. Another great way to increase your conversation skills is to talk frequently with other with great conversation skills. You don't have to read the whole paper from front to back but read different sections of papers such as the New York Times or USAtoday. Read a couple of articles in the entertainment section, the science section, the sports section, the business/money section and so on. Designate time every day for this such as an hour before you go to school in the morning. Once you begin to do this regularly, you will feel confident to hold a conversation with anyone in any arena. Never worry about running out of things to say again. Finally, as far as the age difference, it doesn't matter. You both are below 18 anyway. I dated a couple of people in high school who was quite a bit older than me and I was sixteen and I can tell you that maturity is the biggest factor here. If you act immature, the age will become an issue but if you behave like a young man, you will be treated as such. Good luck.
Author shirusu Posted April 8, 2011 Author Posted April 8, 2011 Okay I read all of it.. Thanks, it made me think a bit. I have been thinking about it all the day, and I came to a conclusion after a few hours: Newspapers and other things are generally not popular in my scandinavian country, and the social network tool facebook is really a good tool to strengthen your relationship, so if you could give me some kind of other clue or something. Just jokes and guide me what not to say to someone who is older than me, generally what to talk about. Well, she doesn't look older than me, because of my height, but still. Progress: Haven't been seeing her for 2 days. Today I saw her, but she was with some friends... I pretended that I didn't see any of them, even though they were standing 3 meters from me. When I passed them, she shouted my name, and I was like.. Oh hi! I smilled, and she smilled back... The reason I didn't want to say hi was because I thought it maybe embarras her or something, but not at all obviously. Later I was going back to class, and because it was in middle of math, I couldn't stay. Well she knows that. From distance I sticked my tongue out, and she did it back while smilling. Not a immature action from my side, IMO as in the country I am living in, it's not a special action. It means kinda haha for fun. Help!
Sabali Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 Okay I read all of it.. Thanks, it made me think a bit. I have been thinking about it all the day, and I came to a conclusion after a few hours: Newspapers and other things are generally not popular in my scandinavian country, and the social network tool facebook is really a good tool to strengthen your relationship, so if you could give me some kind of other clue or something. Just jokes and guide me what not to say to someone who is older than me, generally what to talk about. Well, she doesn't look older than me, because of my height, but still. Progress: Haven't been seeing her for 2 days. Today I saw her, but she was with some friends... I pretended that I didn't see any of them, even though they were standing 3 meters from me. When I passed them, she shouted my name, and I was like.. Oh hi! I smilled, and she smilled back... The reason I didn't want to say hi was because I thought it maybe embarras her or something, but not at all obviously. Later I was going back to class, and because it was in middle of math, I couldn't stay. Well she knows that. From distance I sticked my tongue out, and she did it back while smilling. Not a immature action from my side, IMO as in the country I am living in, it's not a special action. It means kinda haha for fun. Help! What? How do you guys keep up with news and information in Scandinavian countries? Facebook to strengthen relationships? Sorry, man, I do not think I will be able to help you. All I can say is "make a move already!"
Author shirusu Posted April 8, 2011 Author Posted April 8, 2011 (edited) Sabali: Mostly the things that are in the news is violence and people who got killed. Not a good topic I do know she likes FCB, but not sure how much... She is half spanish Of course there is news, but.. Let's just say, it's not news that people on my age should read. It's simply made for older people, it's probably different in America. A few of my friends were not my friends without facebook. It's a really good place to talk... In the school there is no place to talk, as people stalk and are curious. It's the only place where you can talk with them without it getting awkward. Thats friends, so for relationships I thought it would be the same perhaps? Edited April 8, 2011 by shirusu
Sabali Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 Thanks for clarifying this. I thought you were just being another one of the young posters who get a million and one replies to their cute love situation but just use all sorts of reasons and excuses never to act on the input given to them. They come back asking the same questions over and over in different forms and in the end, they never resolve their situation with the guy or girl because they never use any of the input. In any event, you must approach the girl. Stop your stalling, man. Ask her out. There is no magical fairy dust for this situation. I just can't sprinkle you with jungle juice and this girl will magically fall in love with you. You have to get past the first hurdle. You have to ask her out at least. You already have a rapport with her. Stop waiting for a magic bullet. Nothing else can be said. Ask her out! If you are not a great conversationalist, speak frequently with others who are and learn from them. If you can work, get a job where you talk to a lot of folks face to face. As you ask more girls out and talk with them, the better you will be at keeping their attention during conversations.
Author shirusu Posted April 8, 2011 Author Posted April 8, 2011 Sabali: Sorry if I made it sound like that. I think you're right... Maybe I should just talk a bit with her. Asking her out is a bit awkward, it's not popular to do that here. More to meet each other one day. Thats more like it. I thought that maybe I could take my friend who is a good friend of her with me. Maybe that make me feel a bit more "home" and open. Just enough to get the last points or whatever they call it. By writing here, I revived: 1. Reflecting it to myself.. Thinking about the situation, getting ideas. 2. I got some useful ideas, and overall I got more open minded. Thank you Sabali. Would it be a good idea to hangout with her best friend and some of my friends? Maybe going to the cinema or whatsoever? Sorry for all those questions! ~ Shirusu
Sabali Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 Shirusu, I am not sure if I can help you with this due to the big differences in clutures here. Someone in your own culture will probably be a lot more helpful. I described above how I basically grew up and this seems to be a marked difference between how things are in your country. That is how we do it the USA. You say it is not popular to ask girls out in your country. How do people hook up in your country? Give me more insight and I may be able to offer something. Keep in mind that I am the same guy anywhere I go. I am likely to go to jail or get my hands chopped off or something if I go to another country and see a woman I am attracted to.
Author shirusu Posted April 8, 2011 Author Posted April 8, 2011 Dating isn't popular, more a thing for older people. Here it's more kinda private, to each other houses or going out club/cinema etc. The last two options are when it's within a group, at least 4 people. I do know that dating is popular in america, TV channels and such helped me with that, and I understand you are confused. My fault, for not explaining from the start I guess. Oh yes... How we find each other? Simple, we have sites for finding each other on the internet. It's risky though due older people, but the more cheap ones use it. 40% of us under 20. You have a conversation, and you meet up one day going to each other homes. Some times it's even planned from the beginning. Now I have a few options myself: Either, I can communicate with her over the internet, because we barely see each other in school, due she is in highschool, another building. Or I can build something up slowly, by seeing her. Both of those should lead to going to her place/mine. As far as I know, thats how you get succesful. Or at least some of my friends do that, and they are what people call: "Ladiesmen" So I am pretty sure that I can handle that. The problem: Before I actually can do that, I have to know her more and she has to know me too. The relationship should be at a point where we both like each other, sharing same interests or we can have a nice conversation over few times. Sorry for the wall of text, but feel free to ask. ~ I'll do my best to answer it, and sorry for grammatical errors/spelling mistakes. Doing my best. ~ Cyrus
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