Memphis Raines Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 I was thinking of a scene from the movie The Ugly Truth where the female character googled a guy before a date. ok, I don't know what I'd think if I was the guy sitting there. My first thought if I found out that someone googled me and was really meticulous about it is, "this gal has issues". But I suppose I could understand if they had been abused or had been with men that turned out to be x-felons or something. but still, I think I'd be a little put off by it. but seeing as I have nothing bad that would show up, I suppose after hearing about the results of the investigation I would say something like, "well, now that you investigated me, then after this date I will need to do the same and I'll get back with you on the results." I mean its only fair right? but something tells me that a woman that googles a guy before a date would be pissed if he googled her back. ladies? guys?
Ross MwcFan Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 I wouldn't really mind. But I'd feel a bit weird doing it myself, even if she had done it to me, I guess.
runner Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 i don't really care. if they read my work and are put off by something, then they can cancel and we won't waste each other's time. next.
curlygirl40 Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 I google. And I go one step further. I look at the court records for my state. It's all public record. Safety first! So far, I've never told the person that I googled them or researched them, and they are free to do the same with me, I have nothing to hide. I don't want to creep anyone out and make them think I'm a stalker, so I don't say anything. But I do it for safety reasons.
carhill Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 I didn't know this even happened before a couple of LS ladies clued me in on such things. I presume, if they 'googled' me, they'd be uniformly unimpressed by my lack of presence. No Nobel prizes, no humanitarian awards, no Forbe's 500 listings
runner Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 I google. And I go one step further. I look at the court records for my state. It's all public record. Safety first! So far, I've never told the person that I googled them or researched them, and they are free to do the same with me, I have nothing to hide. I don't want to creep anyone out and make them think I'm a stalker, so I don't say anything. But I do it for safety reasons. this is smart. i've had friends go out with guys, sweet nothings in the beggining, and then later they find out why the guy has an assult and battery entry on his record. waste of time having to find out a blatant deal breaker later. i don't want to say that all guys are scum (obviously not), but they are out there having met a few myself.
curlygirl40 Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 As a matter of fact, they can google me all night long if they would like. Sorry, I'm cracking myself up.
Intricategirl Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 I didn't know this even happened before a couple of LS ladies clued me in on such things. I presume, if they 'googled' me, they'd be uniformly unimpressed by my lack of presence. No Nobel prizes, no humanitarian awards, no Forbe's 500 listings For me at least, it's not so much about what doesn't turn up as what does. If not much turns up, he's just not big into the Internet. No big deal. If he does turn up, does what he's telling me match what he's saying? Does he have a criminal background? Is there anything embarrassing or questionable?
Intricategirl Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 Oh, and I don't mind whether a guy searches for me. I kind of expect it. My art is easy to find, my Facebook and writing is moderately hard to find, and certain aspects of my life are pretty hidden.
curlygirl40 Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 If someone searches for me they will find about 3 pages of stuff. All work related. I'm in a pretty high profile career, anonymity is rare in my job. The last guy I searched the court records for I found out that he lied about when his divorce was final. I saw his wife filed for a restraining order against him at one time. House in foreclosure. Etc., etc. I know a lot of that can be explained away. Foreclosures are rampant right now and I wouldn't not date someone or judge them w/o knowing the situation. I also know a very nice guy who's wife filed a restraining order against him as a tool in the divorce, she didn't get it though cuz it was baseless. SO I'm not saying it's the be all, end all. But still I look. Good times
alphamale Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 I mean its only fair right? but something tells me that a woman that googles a guy before a date would be pissed if he googled her back. if you place your personal info out on the internet for billions to see then anything goes...
Mutant Debutante Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 I've googled guys before and looked into their background a little bit if I didn't know them or they werent' friends of friends or something...like another poster said, it's a safety issue. I'm careful like that. I don't care if they google me. If they look into my court records I guess they'd find out that I took custody of my sisters, if they have a problem with that it's better to find out early, just rip off that bandaid.
ivalm Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 (edited) I'm a guy and I always google girls I go out with. They are free to do the same to me. Of course, I also don't talk to them about this, that could be a bit creepy. Edited April 7, 2011 by ivalm
Kamille Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 I googled bf and he googled me. I did it after our first date and because I was really into him. I don't know why he googled me... Probably something similar.
Disillusioned Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 No one has yet asked the question, what about if you have a common name and they google the wrong person? OOPS!!! When I last googled myself, I got links to some Australian economist (there also used to be a credit crook with my 1st and last name in the same town). When my neighbor googled his name, he turned out to have the same 1st and last name as a gangster who was wanted in another state for murder (although that might be a turn-on to women who go in for "bad boys")! You can imagine the problems involved in googling someone with a common name like John Smith or Mike Jones. Especially if a whole bunch of them have no pics online. Moral: googling someone isn't always such a hot idea.
Kamille Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 No one has yet asked the question, what about if you have a common name and they google the wrong person? OOPS!!! I have a pretty rare name. So far, there's only two other people who have the same name on the internet: one of them actually works in a field similar to mine and the other is... a Ukrainian prostitute.
thatdog Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 That's kind worrying. Do girls just check for really negative stuff (like sex offenders) or do they take more into account? My name comes up with a lot of stuff when googled and from a dating perspective it's probably all negative. I used to be a pro/semi-pro gamer (chess, ccgs etc) so there's pages of coverage of me doing very nerdy and childish things. Most of my past gfs have had no interest in or actively disliked that side of me but because I also have an active social life and don't look very nerdy they usually didn't find out about my 'secret life' until they knew me well enough to know I was actually a fairly normal guy. If girls are starting to google guys before dates now does that mean I might have a much harder time getting one these days because they would be turned off by what they found?
TokyoG33kyGal Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 That's kind worrying. Do girls just check for really negative stuff (like sex offenders) or do they take more into account? My name comes up with a lot of stuff when googled and from a dating perspective it's probably all negative. I used to be a pro/semi-pro gamer (chess, ccgs etc) so there's pages of coverage of me doing very nerdy and childish things. Most of my past gfs have had no interest in or actively disliked that side of me but because I also have an active social life and don't look very nerdy they usually didn't find out about my 'secret life' until they knew me well enough to know I was actually a fairly normal guy. If girls are starting to google guys before dates now does that mean I might have a much harder time getting one these days because they would be turned off by what they found? well don't you think it's better that they withdraw early if they are turned off by that rather than falling in love then leave later for that reason? plus that is how you are, why be ashamed of your past or a part of your personality? i do google especially when i am interested with that person. just trying to find out if they have criminal records or if they really are single (a lesson learned). i don't mind if they google me though they have to know the "magic word" to look for to really dig juicy stuff about me
thatdog Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 well don't you think it's better that they withdraw early if they are turned off by that rather than falling in love then leave later for that reason? plus that is how you are, why be ashamed of your past or a part of your personality? IDK. the gf's I've had have often admitted to being 'turned off' to some extent by the idea I'm a gamer but they still like me for everything else so it's fine. One of my best friends hate's pretty much everything nerdy or kiddy-like that guys get into. She used to always tease me about it and say she would never date a guy who was so childish as to be into kids games. Last month she got married to a guy who is obsessed with warhammer (one of those games with miniatures and dice and other super nerdy things) and has a shed in the backyard that has nothing but gaming tables and places to paint his figures. But when they started dating she knew nothing about this and was often mystified about what went on in the shed when he dissappeared for some alone time or a boys night out. Now she just accepts it and is happy to have that extra spare time to do what she likes for herself when he is off in his 'man cave' and it doesn;t seem to affect their relationship at all.
thatdog Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 Why do you try to date women who aren't interested in the things you are really good at? Isn't that on top of most people's lists: Must like some of the things I am passionate about? If I tried that I think I would have a VERY limited pool of potential partners. I am passionate about more than just games though so so long as there is a shared interest in other areas of my life I think it's fine.
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 I have no problem with this. I have nothing to hide. If you did have something to hide, perhaps you shouldn't be dating yet?
veggirl Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 I have mixed thoughts on this. I can kind of understand it in the "is he a criminal" aspect, but...I don't know. It just seems kind of weird/creepy. Even if you are online dating, if you are meeting in public, you are pretty much safe aren't you? I just think of how recent of a phenomenon this is. People dated for years and years without googling their dates. Sure, they could walk down to their courthouse and obtain public records, but who did that? I'm not talking about 50 yrs ago, I'm talking even more recent than that. This is a new thing to do. I think it's strange and I think that "is he a criminal?" is often the excuse used just to be nosy. I would feel strange going on a first date after already creeping someones facebook or online journal or what-have-you without their knowledge. I think it's just another result of the instant gratification the internet has made people feel entitled to. Also- as someone mentioned, they found out that a date had a foreclosure and an ex had filed a restraining order. There are SO MANY things that can explain both of those away (esp the foreclosure) that I think it's unfortunate someone would be prematurely judged without the facts. Just because we have access to all this information doesn't mean we should induldge in it, imo.
Star Gazer Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 I Google every date, out of not only curiosity, but to protect myself. I also check court records (criminal and family law). I don't dig, I just do very cursory reviews. Given the amount of information available via a simple Google search, I fully expect the guys I date to do the same thing. The last guy I Googled had his bankruptcy discharge as the second search result. That was a little weird to see RIGHT THERE...
OliveOyl Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 When people google me, they get lots information about my ex-hubby, too. His name was Popeye and you can find court documents about assault and battery charges against Bluto.
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