2seeyou Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 I have been nc for 3 weeks. I can't eat, sleep, or play with my new puppy that my ex bought for me before breaking up. I think I figured it out last night. It's about forgiveness. How can you exchange forgiveness if you are nc. I feel like I need to contact her one more time in order to move forward. I want to express myself through a song that I found today. It says everything a dumpee feels and Don Henley could put into words. Listen and cry...I hope this helps some the members on this forum. "I got the call today, I didn't wanna hear But I knew that it would come An old true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone She said you found someone And I thought of all the bad luck, And the struggles we went through And how I lost me and you lost you What are these voices outside love's open door Make us throw off our contentment And beg for something more? I'm learning to live without you now But I miss you sometimes The more I know, the less I understand All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning again I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter But my will gets weak And my thoughts seem to scatter But I think it's about forgiveness Forgiveness Even if, even if you don't love me anymore" - Don Henley
Mcnulty Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 WWould contacting her one more time not set you back though? Is it definitel;y over? If so, think long and hard before you contact her. Heart of the matter has been a song I've listened to for a long time and it truly puts me at peace when I listen to it...beautiful.
geegirl Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 It's one thing to understand that forgiveness will set you free but it's another to believe that it's achieved overnight by just listening to a song or being in NC for 3 weeks. And forgiveness is not something you announce. You feel it within, and when it emerges, it's for you and you alone. And when you truly feel it within, you reach acceptance and you move on. She does not need to know that you forgive her in order for YOU to move on. If she asked you for forgiveness one day, then you could give it to her, if and when you truly believe and feel it. Don't use this as an excuse to reach out to her, or use it as motive to maybe get a reaction out of her to comfort your pain. Three weeks of NC is good progress and seeing that you are still struggling to eat and sleep... if you were to receive a negative or an indifferent response from her, you're setting yourself up for more hurt. I have been nc for 3 weeks. I can't eat, sleep, or play with my new puppy that my ex bought for me before breaking up. I think I figured it out last night. It's about forgiveness. How can you exchange forgiveness if you are nc. I feel like I need to contact her one more time in order to move forward. I want to express myself through a song that I found today. It says everything a dumpee feels and Don Henley could put into words. Listen and cry...I hope this helps some the members on this forum. "I got the call today, I didn't wanna hear But I knew that it would come An old true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone She said you found someone And I thought of all the bad luck, And the struggles we went through And how I lost me and you lost you What are these voices outside love's open door Make us throw off our contentment And beg for something more? I'm learning to live without you now But I miss you sometimes The more I know, the less I understand All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning again I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter But my will gets weak And my thoughts seem to scatter But I think it's about forgiveness Forgiveness Even if, even if you don't love me anymore" - Don Henley
Author 2seeyou Posted April 7, 2011 Author Posted April 7, 2011 Thanks for your response! When you feel this low, can anything else push even lower. This is my lowest low. What Do I have to lose if I contact her. Either she will ignore it, write something nasty to me or forgive me. I really need some advice on this nc stuff. “When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” Catherine Ponder quotes
2011 Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 You will feel even lower if you do contact because you will get blown right out of the water. Do not do it please; I done it and it was a big mistake. In the state you are in you will say something to blow it and you will validate her decision for breaking up. Man up to the challenge and get through it. Please heed the advice from people who have traversed this path before you. 2011
geegirl Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 (edited) I'm not clear. So you want forgiveness from her? From your post it sounded like you wanted to extend forgiveness to her so that you could let go. Edited April 7, 2011 by geegirl
nana841121 Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 I am listening to this song now. thanks for sharing good song
Denillad Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 I agree that it seems u are finding a reason to break contact. Give it some more time if u can. When u are letting go you no longer have much to say. You may consider this. I'm not sure who broke up with who, if she broke up with you then you should want to know she would fight for you too.
Recommended Posts