sydneysider1978 Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 Hi all, I've just had a bit of an interesting dating experience combined with receiving a dating newsletter and would like to ask your opinions. I met this guy in a bar a couple of weeks ago, he approached me, seemed very taken with me and I liked his chat and direct approach so gave him my number. He got in touch a couple of days later to arrange the first date, which was great and ended in a kiss. From that date he arranged date two for a week later which I was pleased about as I thought we got on very well. In between times he got in touch a couple of times just to chat. Date two went really well as well (I thought). I thought we really seemed to click. He's very smart and I don't seem to meet many guys who appreciate my intelligence and make me feel like I can talk to them about anything. There was lots of flirty touching and a lot more kissing. At the end of the date he was talking about how he hadn't got much on on the weekend and I thought I'd take the plunge and suggest we meet up, so we agreed on a time and and area of our city on Sunday. I didn't hear from him at all, then finally on Sunday I suggested a time / place to meet and I just got back an excuse that he was sick. I said OK, no worries let me know when you're better and I haven't heard from him in a week. My gut instinct is that he's not going to call again. So a couple of days later i got a newsletter talking about how guys prefer you to hold back a little on the first couple of dates. To not tell them EVERYTHING about your life and act a little mysterious. That giving out too much information before you know them too well will make them think you're emotionally sloppy. This was a very different outlook to how I usually operate. If I feel drawn to someone, I'll be really honest and open up to them to build rapport. (This is how my female - female relationships work) Thinking back on the date, I did mention in passing a little trouble at work. I didn't really want to dwell on it but he kept asking more and more questions, and he is a business man so it was interesting to hear his opinion. I really didn't set out to moan about work, but he kept digging! I only told him so much because I felt a connection and that I could trust him. I told him so much, my life story, what I hoped for the future, my family! Was I emotionally slu#ty? Would I have been better off being a bit of a tease and not talking about the serious stuff on date two? Or is he just a player with great chat who got a bit bored / ex-girlfriend in town / anyother excuse?
fishtaco Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 Or he's sick. I don't think you did anything wrong. If he lost interest he lost interest. A lot of the times just because one side feels a certain way, doesn't mean the other side feels the same. And unless you have something seriously wrong with you, like you were being an angry bitch or your smelled bad, then don't be so quick to think it's something you did. He could have simply lost interest, and it would have nothing to do with what you did. Being the woman, traditionally you're in the position to let him do the work and come back to you. If you choose, you could txt him to see how he's feeling and all that, just to see what sort of response you'll get, if you want. Up to you. I'm a multidater, so in this situation, from a male's perspective, I DO have to take the initiative and put the ball in her court, after that, it's the same waiting game. Then I'd just go date someone else while I wait for response. If she comes back, great, continue, if not, I didn't miss a beat anyway.
TokyoG33kyGal Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 i agree with fishtaco there is also a possibility that he is multi-dating. about the newsletter, i don't think there are rules in a relationship. i think most of the books about dating are manipulative and some are designed to please only either the men or the women (which makes it double-standard). if that is how you operate i don't see the reason why you need to change. if i get rejected by someone i just think that we are not compatible or he has a bad taste
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