messedupgirl87 Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 Long story, but I will keep it to the point. I was engaged to a great guy. We were together for around 7 years. From reading these forums today it looks like they call it the 7 year itch for a reason. I met a new guy a few months ago and left my fiance for him. I guess we were together since we were so young, I needed to make sure I knew what I wanted. I feel happy with the new guy, but I keep comparing him to my ex. Will these feelings go away? I feel like I am not at home with the new guy, but I do like him. We even say I love you to each other. We have been talking about marriage in the future. I miss my ex a lot and he won't return my calls or answer my texts. I don't understand what it is I am feeling. Maybe somebody on here has been through this and can help me understand?
VJohnson32 Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 Well, no sympathy here but what you going through is perfectly normal. You might have left him but you are not over your ex, clearly. So basically rebounded with that new guy. Thats why its always good to give it some time before you jump out there. 7 years is a long time, plus you said he was a great guy and I assume the relationship was good so it would be really hard. Your ex isnt responding and you shouldnt blame him since you left him for another man, pretty disrespectful in my own opinion. Take it slow with your new relationship and dont jump into anything serious as you are still getting over your ex. Getting married at this point will only make your life more miserable and who knows how long it would last. Once your ex is completely gone and forgotten then take the relationship onto the next step.
geegirl Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 (edited) Long story, but I will keep it to the point. I was engaged to a great guy. We were together for around 7 years. From reading these forums today it looks like they call it the 7 year itch for a reason. I met a new guy a few months ago and left my fiance for him. I guess we were together since we were so young, I needed to make sure I knew what I wanted. I feel happy with the new guy, but I keep comparing him to my ex. Will these feelings go away? I feel like I am not at home with the new guy, but I do like him. We even say I love you to each other. We have been talking about marriage in the future. I miss my ex a lot and he won't return my calls or answer my texts. I don't understand what it is I am feeling. Maybe somebody on here has been through this and can help me understand? I don't mean to be rude or harsh but I just wanted to say one thing. I don't have advice for the confusion you are feeling but I just wanted to point out that granted you miss your ex a lot, you let him go. You mention he won't return your calls or answer your texts, it is because he is hurt and confused, if he did not see this coming and moreso, since you were both planning a future together. You have moved on from him and into another relationship, and while you are confused, he is probably devastated. It would be respectful to just leave your ex alone and let him process the breakup and his feelings. You can't have the stability and security from both sides while you try to figure out what you want. As for you feelings of confusion, I'm sure there will be posters here that can help you with great advice. Edited April 7, 2011 by geegirl
loverboy1984 Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 I was relieved reading your post. Because Im in the same situation as the guy you left. Its nice to know that you are human and can feel after dropping someone after 7yrs. He is doing what all of us are doing and thats NC to figure himself out and get over you. If you want to move on you need to without looking behind you. But if you think 7 yrs was too good to give up then you need to go back but work hard to fix the damage you have caused. It wont be easy. I would not talk about marriage or lead anyone on at this point since your an emotional mess. You still have feelings for your ex and your high off the novelty of this new guy and this new sense of appreciation. You dont know him well enough yet. You had the opportunity to get married but obviously werent ready and wanted to see if there was something better. Thats not wrong but you made the decision and it would serve you best if you took this time to see what is it you like. Just know that your ex will be hating you and convincing himself of how he is gonna be better off and that you didnt deserve him. It will take several months for him to move on. If you want him you need to let him cool off or else you will be hurt by what he has to say to you. But If you decide that he was the one for you then fight for him. good luck
Author messedupgirl87 Posted April 8, 2011 Author Posted April 8, 2011 Thanks for the replies. I feel so bad for hurting my ex. He did treat me good. I dunno. Just trying to write a bit to get it off my chest.
nana841121 Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 confusion is normal in your situation. No rush to any relationship What happened to you is qutie typical we human being are emotional You have been with your ex for seven years. the wound healing process would take some time Be honest with yourself, But no need to share the process with your current boyfriend, don't make things complicated. comparing current one with ex is quite normal
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