Timbo22 Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 It has been 10 days NC now and I have had my good days and bad...Today has been a relapse day, Things that we have done together just pop up in my head and I can't help it. Especially watching her fall asleep, Sing, read. She was the perfect girl. Regardless of what anyone says, I was madly in love with her for the person she was and that is just killing me in the inside. She completely left me with no answers other she needs to find her self in college. We had so much together, and I know I should let go but people make mistakes right? I truly feel like she is making one if you only knew the bond and the things she told me. I could easily find someone else if I wanted, she knows that too. She was always jealous of the attention I used to get from other women. She was always very insecure but it didnt matter... I loved her and I always made sure she knew. I dont think I will ever stop loving her. I want the best for her, she deserves to be happy and only deserves the best. She has been struggling in school, trying to get into med school. She has started drinking and partying alot, hanging out with ex's and flings... People make mistakes, will she ever realize? She has told me maybe in time we she might be back, and then on the other hand has told me to move on and dont look back... Either way im so confused, I lost my bestfriend who wanted to spend every last minute with me. She always made me smile, and laugh and I returned the favor. She told me I gave her confidence she never thought she had and gave her a backbone. Now she just left me without trying to work things out...
Mov Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 (edited) Me too friend - tough today and i am only on day 4. Don't give up now though, if you do it'll be back to square 1. Stay strong!! Edited April 7, 2011 by Mov spelling mistake
smudge21 Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 Yeah, feel I lost my best friend aswell as the girl I loved too. I get triggers all the time and I'm on week 2 as of today. Places we went too are more highlighted now it's getting warmer out there as it was last summer we met and got together. It really does totally utterly suck!!! There is no nice thing to say about the way we feel when this happens. Plus, it's not like you can take a pill and get over it quickly. But then again, these feelings are what make us human. Without them, what would we be. Plus, you've got to experience these downs so you can truly appreciate the highs. I do know for 100% definite that I (and everyone else) will get past this and come out the other side my usual self, ready for the next experience that life throws at me. Until that time comes, I'll just take each day with the knowledge that yes sometimes I will feel terrible, but that's okay, it's perfectly normal. Eventually the terrible will be replaced by the good. Fact.
2011 Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 Hi I know how tough this is (almost 4 months LC/NC so i've been down this road already) and well I won't sugar coat it you have lots of stuff still to come but take it one day at a time, feel the pain, it is the worst thing in the world but I promise you will be a better person in time. I know you hear this all the time and it sounds fluffy but it's true. As with her, you can see the mistake she is making but she can't and is being thoughtless but remember this you cannot control them or influence them, the only thing you can do is do lots of things to make them NOT come back like beg and plead and keep contacting so don't do it no matter how strong the urge. I know every cell is screaming at you to pursue and seek amends but it will not work. You have to detach yourself and get on with living YOUR life because that's all you can do, you cannot live theirs. Give THEM the opportunity to miss you. Just look forward to the time you when you are indifferent and not really caring, you will get there, it may take a few months but bear it out and wisen up, even if you spoke to your ex right now you would be in no fit state to talk rationally and you would drive them away for ever. Look at the next while as a challenge that you will live through, learn and experience from. You do not know what the future holds, right now it seems lost and over, and your heart hurts like hell but give it time and plenty of NC dished up and you will maximise those chances of rekindling that RL, or you may move on to a another girl who blows your mind way over what your ex could ever be, you never know. But stay strong and post here if you ever feel like contacting, do not slip up as you will ruin your future chances 10 fold, also any contact from them post here first for advice on replying so you don't make a silly mistake. God speed! 2011 P.S. I hope you made it clear you do not want to talk to them as you need to move on and that you agree with the break up? If you haven't you should. Fire an email saying that you agree with the break up, that you think it is for the best and you need to move on now with your life, wish them luck and bid farewell then drop off the planet. P.P.S make sure to stay in NC don't blow it like I did!
steamie Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 You can do it Timbo, I had a break up similar to yours a year back. What I missed the most was being able to talk to someone like I talked to my ex, she was my best friend and one of my only friends. That was definitely the hardest thing to get use to. Personally I started a journal and just wrote down my thoughts and how I was feeling, it gave a lot of clarity and helped me pin point little insecurities and vague details about myself and the break up. I still think about her time to time, but I basically just accepted the things I could not control, and focused on things that I can. Just try to accept how you're feeling and why you're feeling it, and just keep in mind you're becoming a stronger and better person. I grew a significant amount from my break up and you can too, you just have to be willing to accept reality no matter how scary and foreign it seems, and even when your feeling miserable remember to at least try to smile .
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