My presentation went well. However I know it's done now! She was mean today!

[JohnnyCage]

Dude she is probably worried about her own future too. You know how its always the teacher who is wrong. Let it go. Forget about her. Study well and get good grades.

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Look, she's your teacher. She could get fired for dating you. Of course she's not going to date you, she could lose her job.

 

Do you get it now?

 

You're putting this poor woman in an unfair position, and then getting upset at her obvious attempts to tell you to piss off. Of course she's mean to you...being nice to you didn't work, you read it as interest. So now she's being mean, to get you off her back.

 

What else do you need? Leave this poor woman alone! Date girls your own age!

[fishtaco]

You shouldn't have hit up on her. She could lose her job over you. At least wait until she's no longer your teacher to hit on her.

 

Anyway, I'm not surprised by her reaction.

 

Many men don't know when to quit. Normally that would just be annoying, here in this situation, she is at risk of losing her livelihood. She's being extra distant to keep you away. She's playing it safe.

 

You asked for this when you decided to hit on her. Don't complain. This is a direct consequence.

 

Minimize interaction, do your school work, pass your tests, hope she has the capability to objectively grade you fairly, and be done with it. If you really must stalk her, at least do it after she's no longer your teacher. But my recommendation is for you to leave her alone, for the rest of your life.

[one goal]

You shouldn't have hit up on her. She could lose her job over you. At least wait until she's no longer your teacher to hit on her.

 

Anyway, I'm not surprised by her reaction.

 

Many men don't know when to quit. Normally that would just be annoying, here in this situation, she is at risk of losing her livelihood. She's being extra distant to keep you away. She's playing it safe.

 

You asked for this when you decided to hit on her. Don't complain. This is a direct consequence.

 

Minimize interaction, do your school work, pass your tests, hope she has the capability to objectively grade you fairly, and be done with it. If you really must stalk her, at least do it after she's no longer your teacher. But my recommendation is for you to leave her alone, for the rest of your life.

 

But is it fair that she ignores me as a student now? I mean when I ask a question, or email about something. She even avoids that too now.

 

I wonder if she's like that outside of school with other guys who hit on her.

[Kamille]

But is it fair that she ignores me as a student now? I mean when I ask a question, or email about something. She even avoids that too now.

 

 

I would say that on average, each one of my student have 2 personal course-related exchanges with me per semester, be it a question after class or an email.

 

How often, in total, have you contacted this professor with a question this semester?

 

 

"A" students typically are the ones who contact me the least. You say yourself you're an "A" students. Are your questions real or merely excuses to get in touch with her?

[fishtaco]

But is it fair that she ignores me as a student now? I mean when I ask a question, or email about something. She even avoids that too now.

 

I wonder if she's like that outside of school with other guys who hit on her.

 

Fair has nothing to do with anything. If you're expecting fairness you will fail in life. Life is not fair.

 

She has every right to be this way, even outside of school.

 

Once you are rejected, expect to be completely cut off. She couldn't do that because you are her student. Normally, it'd be much easier for her to cut the guy off completely.

 

Why would you want to spend any effort or time on someone that has rejected you anyway? Are you masochistic? Go chase after some other girls. Stop bothering this woman.

[one goal]

I would say that on average, each one of my student have 2 personal course-related exchanges with me per semester, be it a question after class or an email.

 

How often, in total, have you contacted this professor with a question this semester?

 

 

"A" students typically are the ones who contact me the least. You say yourself you're an "A" students. Are your questions real or merely excuses to get in touch with her?

 

I only sent her a total of 12 emails since late Jan. That includes the one where I asked her out. Most were legit emails about class. After I asked her out 3 weeks ago is when she didn't have anymore contact with me.

[SxB]

I was all dressed up for the presentation. My classmates said they were impressed with me.

 

However things with the teacher not so good. Like I had a simple question I asked her regarding my next assignment, and she was rude towards me and snapped a bit. I can't even ask a simple question via email or in person now. I thought it was unprofessional when I had a question about class and the way she was snappy.

 

On the way out of class when I was talking to her about the talk about my grading I told her I wasn't mad or anything and that I like her class and want to do good in it. She said she wasn't upset with me. She mentioned facebook sending her a friend request and she said "I don't do that." FYI she has other students on her friends list so I knew right away what she really means is she doesn't like me and doesn't want to have any sort of communications with me. She said it wasn't because I asked her out in the past. She said she was having "family problems" to me again regarding my grades, and snapped and said she's made it clear to me before. I tried to be nice about it, and tried asking whats wrong, but she said "bye" and walked our ways.

 

I understand she has issues going on, but I don't think she should take her fustrations out on me, especially when it has to do with my school work.

 

She's made it clear to me that she just doesn't personally like me at all. I mean as a student as well. She doesn't even want to help me when I have a question about something, and usually just ignores me totally now. I just ask another classmate now.

 

I can understand she hates me, fine! But I don't want to be treated like some dog! I've never talked back to her, or been mean to her.

 

Drop her class, stop all this crap about "expecting" from her she doesn't owe you anything, stop association with her, and when you walk out tell her you didn't appreciate her rude behavior with you, don't listen to what she has to say, walk out, and never associate with her again, and MOVE ON.

 

People have different personalities in Life, that's just the way it is, if you aren't compatible with it and feel mistreated then say something (don't ask anything--say something) and shut down all further contact with them, especially after a rejection...when there isn't anything left to be said or associated upon.

Edited April 7, 2011 by SxB

[EyesWideOpen]

I only sent her a total of 12 emails since late Jan. That includes the one where I asked her out. Most were legit emails about class. After I asked her out 3 weeks ago is when she didn't have anymore contact with me.

 

Uh...why are you sending that many emails? Short of submitting assignments (which do not generate a need to respond), there is absolutely NO REASON to email her on a nearly weekly basis.

Even if you were struggling hard core with the class, there are peers you can use as a resource...and likely even a tutoring center.

 

At this point, it comes off like you are a harassing stalker. Of course she's ignoring you. And it's no wonder she seems pissed off!

[EyesWideOpen]

I wonder if she's like that outside of school with other guys who hit on her.

 

 

I wonder if you'll ever get that it's none of your business what she's like outside of school with anyone.

[one goal]

Uh...why are you sending that many emails? Short of submitting assignments (which do not generate a need to respond), there is absolutely NO REASON to email her on a nearly weekly basis.

Even if you were struggling hard core with the class, there are peers you can use as a resource...and likely even a tutoring center.

 

At this point, it comes off like you are a harassing stalker. Of course she's ignoring you. And it's no wonder she seems pissed off!

 

First to the other poster, im not dropping. I still have an a in there as far as I know and just one montj to go. If worse comes to worst I will goes to the dept dean and ask if I can complete the work outside of class and turn it in. I dont want to hate her, she seems like she can be a nice girl but I just dont like her attitude towards me since I asked her out.she seemed more direct today. I meAn the facebook thing I told her I tought she was a nice girl and thats why I added her. So yes my feelings were hurt that she actually hates me apparantly. Even when I just want to get to know her better and asked her whats wrong. She just walked the other way. I never called her any names or anything. Always polite.

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

First to the other poster, im not dropping. I still have an a in there as far as I know and just one montj to go. If worse comes to worst I will goes to the dept dean and ask if I can complete the work outside of class and turn it in. I dont want to hate her, she seems like she can be a nice girl but I just dont like her attitude towards me since I asked her out.she seemed more direct today. I meAn the facebook thing I told her I tought she was a nice girl and thats why I added her. So yes my feelings were hurt that she actually hates me apparantly. Even when I just want to get to know her better and asked her whats wrong. She just walked the other way. I never called her any names or anything. Always polite.

 

12 emails?

 

I don't send that many emails to my friends. Let alone to my teacher!

[johan]

You make her feel uncomfortable,so she doesn't want to talk to you at all. But you keep finding reasons to. So you aren't really respecting her space. That makes people mad, hence her treatment of you. You say she doesn't answer emails anymore, which makes me wonder how many you've sent. And all the time you've spent here discussing her, and honestly coming off as pretty thick skulled. I think the treatment you're getting is probably what you've earned. Let it go. Let the class end. Resolve not to speak to her or about her anymore.

Edited April 8, 2011 by johan

[dreamingoftigers]

I already fired him from speaking about her but he doesn't seem able to read for comprehension, his teacher could easily be grading him harder just to confirm that she absolutely isn't interested in him. He doesn't seem to get that.

[EyesWideOpen]

First to the other poster, im not dropping. I still have an a in there as far as I know and just one montj to go. If worse comes to worst I will goes to the dept dean and ask if I can complete the work outside of class and turn it in. I dont want to hate her, she seems like she can be a nice girl but I just dont like her attitude towards me since I asked her out.she seemed more direct today. I meAn the facebook thing I told her I tought she was a nice girl and thats why I added her. So yes my feelings were hurt that she actually hates me apparantly. Even when I just want to get to know her better and asked her whats wrong. She just walked the other way. I never called her any names or anything. Always polite.

 

Really, you don't seem to be getting it. As unfair as you might think her treatment of you is, it is direct a result of your own actions.

 

1) It was inappropriate to ask her out in the first place. I cannot stress this enough. She is your teacher, not a girl at the mall. She CANNOT date you without risking her job, social stigmatization, possibly her teaching license...etc etc etc. So simply put, you were wrong to ask her out while enrolled in her class. Period. As a result, as a precautionary measure, BECAUSE you crossed the line which put her in an uncomfortable and precarious position..she must set up boundaries with you to protect herself and her career.

 

2) You should have backed off when she first said no. It is not acceptable, after having made your inappropriate intentions clear to her, to then try and establish any sort of relationship with her that would extend beyond the classroom. She is ALREADY in a risky situation (your fault, not hers), and you went and made the situation WORSE by trying to Facebook and otherwise befriend her. As a result, she has to make sure she distances herself as much as possible from you.

 

3) At this point, common sense should have told you not to contact her at all unless it was as a last resort for a legitimate school purpose. That means no emails, no after class inquiries, NOTHING under the guise of classwork.

 

 

Her coldness/harshness/whatever towards you is a direct result of your inappropriate actions. Okay? Is it fair? YES!!! Because you crossed the line, dude. It doesn't matter that you haven't been mean. It doesn't matter that you never called her names. It doesn't matter that you have stayed polite.

What matters is that you made an inappropriate advance, and then you did not back off after she said no. You are in the wrong here. You are lucky that this woman has not kicked you out of her class.

 

Also, you are making the assumption that she distanced herself because she "hates" you. You don't know that. She has never said that to you. She may like you just fine as a student, but because YOU made an advance and YOU continue to initiate an unusually high volume of contact...she MUST avoid you.

Can you see how frustrating and how irritating that would get for her?

 

 

Now. You just said you still have an A in the class. What are you complaining about? This woman has not only allowed you to stay in her class despite the advances, pestering, and unnecessary emails...but she also continues to grade you fairly.

You have NOTHING to complain about at this point.

 

 

Honestly. It can't be spelled out any clearer than it has been in this thread. (multiple times, might I add) Stop looking for excuses and points to b*tch about. Just drop the issue, and leave her alone.

Edited April 8, 2011 by EyesWideOpen

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

You still have an A in the class. Your classmates are being nice to you. She's acting professionally, and not docking your grade.

 

What, exactly, is the problem?

 

I think you just like to make things bigger than they are. I can't see any other reason why you ask for advice, and then ignore ALL of it. You're an attention whore.

[allenmj]

I only sent her a total of 12 emails since late Jan.

 

12? Seriously.

 

Your one of the guys who give the rest of us guys a bad name. Your obsessed.

 

Drop the class and don't ever speak to her again. If you honestly can't see the reason you should do this, then you should seek counseling.

[one goal]

You still have an A in the class. Your classmates are being nice to you. She's acting professionally, and not docking your grade.

 

What, exactly, is the problem?

 

I think you just like to make things bigger than they are. I can't see any other reason why you ask for advice, and then ignore ALL of it. You're an attention whore.

 

Im assuming a low A. My mid term was 95.3, but that C was on a big assignment and so was that B. so it's likely brought me down to a high B or low A.

 

And she is being mean when compared to other students. She isn't snapping at other students. I'm the only one that I've seen her talk like that.

 

Ok so I asked her out. However why must she be mean to me even when I'm asking about school, or ignoring me when I have something that I need to ask? before I asked her out she wasn't like that.

 

She can be upset all she wants because I asked her out, but why must she take it out on me?

 

Like I said with facebook other students are her friend on there. So how is that not bad for her career, but would be bad if she added me? What is the difference?

[dreamingoftigers]

The difference is that you are being so in her face that I want to snap at you, and you didn't even ask me out of bug me 12 times.

[Lilmisus]

Im assuming a low A. My mid term was 95.3, but that C was on a big assignment and so was that B. so it's likely brought me down to a high B or low A.

 

And she is being mean when compared to other students. She isn't snapping at other students. I'm the only one that I've seen her talk like that.

 

Ok so I asked her out. However why must she be mean to me even when I'm asking about school, or ignoring me when I have something that I need to ask? before I asked her out she wasn't like that.

 

She can be upset all she wants because I asked her out, but why must she take it out on me?

 

Like I said with facebook other students are her friend on there. So how is that not bad for her career, but would be bad if she added me? What is the difference?

 

Oh my God, you're either an idiot or a troll. I'm sorry, but it's the truth.

 

She's being mean because she wants you to leave her the hell alone. If you're an a**hole to people, they wont want to talk to you or bother you. It's basic logic and has been used for many years. That's her "one" goal .

 

She probably does this to other guys who wont take no for an answer. The other students treat her like their teacher, so she wont act that way to them, and she feels comfortable adding them. Plus, they may have shared pass classes together, so they may have a closer teacher-student relationship than most students do (though it would be strictly teacher-student, as opposed to what you want). They treat her with respect, she does the same to them. You disrespect her wishes, she disrespects you. Simple.

 

If you have a question, raise your hand during class and ask her then. Don't wait till after class, don't send her an e-mail. Do it like a nice student does. Or even do it right when class starts. Just raise your hand and say "excuse me ma'am, what's the page limit for our paper?" or whatever you need to ask. She wont be nearly as rude to you then.

 

She will take it out on you because you are the cause of her stress, even if it's only a part of it. You are stressing and freaking her out..don't you have any empathy to realize that that's a horrible thing to do? You're worried about your little grade, she's worried about her job and worried about coming into class everyday now probably. You're a jerk for doing that to her and not respecting her wishes.

 

My ex told me how these "psycho" girls that he used to date just wouldn't get the very non-subtle hint and leave and leave him alone. He would tell them "leave" "go" "now" and they would stay glued to the couch. He said that being nice didn't work, so he became an a**hole and told them to get the hell out of his house, and even that wouldn't work sometimes, but they ended up catching the "hint" then. The point is...when nice doesn't work, people turn into an a**hole to get their point across. I'm becoming an a**hole to you now as well, and so are many people on here. You've even lost my respect due to how you can't listen to what I or anyone else here says. But I'm an idiot for continuing to try to get you to see logic, so I'm done trying.

[one goal]

Oh my God, you're either an idiot or a troll. I'm sorry, but it's the truth.

 

She's being mean because she wants you to leave her the hell alone. If you're an a**hole to people, they wont want to talk to you or bother you. It's basic logic and has been used for many years. That's her "one" goal .

 

She probably does this to other guys who wont take no for an answer. The other students treat her like their teacher, so she wont act that way to them, and she feels comfortable adding them. Plus, they may have shared pass classes together, so they may have a closer teacher-student relationship than most students do (though it would be strictly teacher-student, as opposed to what you want). They treat her with respect, she does the same to them. You disrespect her wishes, she disrespects you. Simple.

 

If you have a question, raise your hand during class and ask her then. Don't wait till after class, don't send her an e-mail. Do it like a nice student does. Or even do it right when class starts. Just raise your hand and say "excuse me ma'am, what's the page limit for our paper?" or whatever you need to ask. She wont be nearly as rude to you then.

 

She will take it out on you because you are the cause of her stress, even if it's only a part of it. You are stressing and freaking her out..don't you have any empathy to realize that that's a horrible thing to do? You're worried about your little grade, she's worried about her job and worried about coming into class everyday now probably. You're a jerk for doing that to her and not respecting her wishes.

 

My ex told me how these "psycho" girls that he used to date just wouldn't get the very non-subtle hint and leave and leave him alone. He would tell them "leave" "go" "now" and they would stay glued to the couch. He said that being nice didn't work, so he became an a**hole and told them to get the hell out of his house, and even that wouldn't work sometimes, but they ended up catching the "hint" then. The point is...when nice doesn't work, people turn into an a**hole to get their point across. I'm becoming an a**hole to you now as well, and so are many people on here. You've even lost my respect due to how you can't listen to what I or anyone else here says. But I'm an idiot for continuing to try to get you to see logic, so I'm done trying.

 

She's always in a hurry and gets there just a couple minutes before clas starts. She's usually in her office before class and no way would I go over to her office and bug her before class.

 

If she continues to be unfair towards me should I go the dept head and tell her how I'm being treated? If I went to the department Dean though and told him, could ask him if I could complete my work outside of class and turn it in due to a conflict with the teacher?

 

The thing is if I go and complain, will she tell them how I asked her out, and get mad and say a lot of bad things about me?

[whichwayisup]

Let it go. Focus on school work, ask your friends for help with assignments.

 

It seems you're using every excuse or any opportunity to talk to her and sadly, you're setting yourself up each time.

 

Try for a full week to be silent in class. Do your work, keep your head down and don't talk to her unless she speaks to you.

 

I think you brought this on yourself, what student asks his teacher out during the actual term? did you expect her to say yes?

 

So now things are weird, she's uncomfortable and so are you. The cure for this is, STOP talking to her on a personal level completely. Like it or not, she's chosen not to be your buddy or friend, in class, out of class and on facecbook. Time will make this easier but you must stop obsessing about this.

[one goal]

Let it go. Focus on school work, ask your friends for help with assignments.

 

It seems you're using every excuse or any opportunity to talk to her and sadly, you're setting yourself up each time.

 

Try for a full week to be silent in class. Do your work, keep your head down and don't talk to her unless she speaks to you.

 

I think you brought this on yourself, what student asks his teacher out during the actual term? did you expect her to say yes?

 

So now things are weird, she's uncomfortable and so are you. The cure for this is, STOP talking to her on a personal level completely. Like it or not, she's chosen not to be your buddy or friend, in class, out of class and on facecbook. Time will make this easier but you must stop obsessing about this.

 

I agree.

 

If she still though doesn't treat me fairly i might ask if I could be removed from her class and complete the last assignment outside of class and have it reviewed by another teacher.

[whichwayisup]

If she continues to be unfair towards me should I go the dept head and tell her how I'm being treated? If I went to the department Dean though and told him, could ask him if I could complete my work outside of class and turn it in due to a conflict with the teacher?

 

The thing is if I go and complain, will she tell them how I asked her out, and get mad and say a lot of bad things about me?

 

Just ask to be transferred out of the class.

 

If you complain, you MUST own up to the fact that you created this by asking her out and made a big mistake and you're worried that how she's treated you since then, that she is going to give you low marks out of spite. it is a conflict of interest... Again, OWN what you did to the Dean if you talk to him...Admit it was stupid to ask a teacher who teaches your own class, out.

[Lilmisus]

Let it go. Focus on school work, ask your friends for help with assignments.

 

It seems you're using every excuse or any opportunity to talk to her and sadly, you're setting yourself up each time.

 

Try for a full week to be silent in class. Do your work, keep your head down and don't talk to her unless she speaks to you.

 

I think you brought this on yourself, what student asks his teacher out during the actual term? did you expect her to say yes?

 

So now things are weird, she's uncomfortable and so are you. The cure for this is, STOP talking to her on a personal level completely. Like it or not, she's chosen not to be your buddy or friend, in class, out of class and on facecbook. Time will make this easier but you must stop obsessing about this.

 

I partially feel bad for the dude since he put it on here before he asked her, and some people told him to go ahead and do it (he just didn't listen and chose to do it over e-mail instead of in person like everyone there said to do). According to those, they didn't see what harm could come from it..and teacher's are probably used to it (if I remember correctly). I just wish that those of us with more common sense would have seen that thread before he sent the e-mail asking her out. It would have saved us a WHOLE lot of drama, and his feelings wouldn't have been hurt, and only two girls would have told him no in the past year as opposed to three.

 

 

 

Plus One Goal, I didn't say before class, don't go to her office or talk to her outside of class ever again unless she tells you to. I said right when class starts. Proof that you selectively read.