LovelyJublee Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 Are manners in the tradtional sense between men and women dead?Or do you still believe in holding doors open and carrying heavy bags for your lady?
BeginAgain Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 A lot of it like pulling out the chair or opening and closing her car door many women don't want, there is no expectation except with very traditionally minded people, and I don't even think of since it wasn't taught or brought up when growing up. Everyone opened and closed their own car doors. No one was someone else's chauffeur. Opening the door to a building/mall/restaurant is a bit different since it is apart of common courtesy but the practicality of who is closer to the door knob or handle plays a part as well. I still hold open doors for people I don't even know when I am out. I would carry the bag if I was in that situation because I have done it for family and it seems like the right thing to do, but sometimes I might not have the presence of mind to ask her for her bags.
DreamerGirl27 Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 My dad acts like a doormat for my mom and she's raised me to believe men are that way as well. When we go shopping, she gives all her bags to my dad and questions me when I carry my own. I'm like, "it's just a freakin' bag, I can carry it myself". Usually, I give it to my dad, but I'm thinking in the back of my mind, "umm....why are we doing this...he's a man, not my chauffeur" I understand men working to support a woman, especially if there are kids involved, but when he has to open doors all the time and carry bags all the time and it's just expected, then I find a problem with that. I also don't believe in the man paying all the time. I have my own money and I want to treat him sometimes. I hope I never marry a traditional conservative man. Like I said, there's nothing wrong with supporting each other in the way you need to be supported, and I have a hard time working sometimes, but to just EXPECT him to do things is absurd. I want my guy to want to take care of me and I in turn will take care of him. I never want to live like my parents. I think they're both absurd.
Mr.Cairo Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 Heavy bags are good to increase a person's musculature. Why would I refuse a woman the right to develop her body? Holding her(to women in general) door? She's not a 4 year old kid, she's strong enough to open her own doors, and I don't want her to feel like I see her as a child.
TryingtoUnderstand32 Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 Heavy bags are good to increase a person's musculature. Why would I refuse a woman the right to develop her body? Holding her(to women in general) door? She's not a 4 year old kid, she's strong enough to open her own doors, and I don't want her to feel like I see her as a child. Its called being a gentleman. Expect to be single for a VERY long time.
Author LovelyJublee Posted April 7, 2011 Author Posted April 7, 2011 Heavy bags are good to increase a person's musculature. Why would I refuse a woman the right to develop her body? Holding her(to women in general) door? She's not a 4 year old kid, she's strong enough to open her own doors, and I don't want her to feel like I see her as a child. Did you have a horrible mother or broken family or something?
Mr.Cairo Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 (edited) Did you have a horrible mother or broken family or something? What? Are you against equality? Do you belong to a middle-eastern family? As the son of a woman who wanted women to be treated such as well as men, I was instilled the respect necessary and the admiration, to allow women to let go of their 'glass dolls' roles, that men, have for so many centuries made them follow. Every time I use my physical strength to alleviate a woman(from something that can make her stronger), I am making a beast of burden out of me, and I'm enforcing the patriarchy on women. So I don't do it. Edited April 7, 2011 by Mr.Cairo
waynesworld Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 No, chivalry is not dead. It shows class. It's like saying "thank you": it's almost never required, but it costs nothing and is almost always desired.
TryingtoUnderstand32 Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 No, chivalry is not dead. It shows class. It's like saying "thank you": it's almost never required, but it costs nothing and is almost always desired. Amen. The two men I have ever loved looked at chivalry like this.
MrNate Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 Chivalry is not dead, but don't expect to receive a lot of it in this day and age. It would probably be best not to expect it at all. Just keeping it real.
JustJoe Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 Chivalry is NOT dead. I still occasionally spread my cape over mud puddles, and only last week rescued a damsel in distress. I haven't slain any dragons (there being a scarcity of dragons in Texas) but would love to do so. Seriously, Gentlemanly behavior is something I was raised to do, and has nothing to do with gender, but more with common politeness. I open the door for men, too, if they have their arms full, ETC.
musemaj11 Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 (edited) Chivalry is dead and for good reason. Common courtesy is the way to go. I open doors for everyone. My dad acts like a doormat for my mom and she's raised me to believe men are that way as well. When we go shopping, she gives all her bags to my dad and questions me when I carry my own. I'm like, "it's just a freakin' bag, I can carry it myself". Usually, I give it to my dad, but I'm thinking in the back of my mind, "umm....why are we doing this...he's a man, not my chauffeur" I understand men working to support a woman, especially if there are kids involved, but when he has to open doors all the time and carry bags all the time and it's just expected, then I find a problem with that. I also don't believe in the man paying all the time. I have my own money and I want to treat him sometimes. I hope I never marry a traditional conservative man. Like I said, there's nothing wrong with supporting each other in the way you need to be supported, and I have a hard time working sometimes, but to just EXPECT him to do things is absurd. I want my guy to want to take care of me and I in turn will take care of him. I never want to live like my parents. I think they're both absurd. Would you marry me? Edited April 7, 2011 by musemaj11
samsungxoxo Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 I think it's really dead but that's like finding the fish on the very deep of the ocean..... there is always one there on that depth. My gut feeling tells me it'll take me about 5-8 to find him but I will. I'm still waiting for that fish to submerge to the surface ocean. No... we didn't totally killed it.. I think some men did it themselves too. They choose to act the way they want to. Everyone is responsible for their own actions. No one makes you do something, you do it because you wanted to.
BeginAgain Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 Would you marry me? Are you a girly looking rocker type with a foot long dick? That's all she is interested in.
musemaj11 Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 Are you a girly looking rocker type with a foot long dick? That's all she is interested in. What? Never mind then.
DreamerGirl27 Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 That's the second marriage proposal on this site I've had.
daphne Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 They are rare these days. But there are more gentlemen in the South than anywhere else. God love 'em. :love:
Intricategirl Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 They are rare these days. But there are more gentlemen in the South than anywhere else. God love 'em. :love: Yeah, but when they aren't... I've actually heard a Southern man tell a woman, "Get your own door. That's women's lib. You guys fought for that." I hope she spit in his PBR.
Woggle Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 Chivalry is dying and women helped to kill it. If women expect men to be chivalrous are they willing to treat us well in return? I am willing to give if women are willing to give but if they expect this to be a one way street then I don't think so.
musemaj11 Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 I know this guy who originally came from south carolina. The way he talks about his wife or women in general makes me think its the middle east down there. Lol
dreamingoftigers Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 I'd be more then willing to have dinner on the table every night at 6 o'clock in exchange for the guy that helps with yardwork/fixing the car. I guess that that isn't chivalry though. hmmmm
Woggle Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 I'd be more then willing to have dinner on the table every night at 6 o'clock in exchange for the guy that helps with yardwork/fixing the car. I guess that that isn't chivalry though. hmmmm It doesn't even have to be that. I saw a woman spit in a man's face for holding open a door once so a kind smile and a genuine thank you would be enough. Men would be more willing to be gentlemen if we simply got some appreciation for it.
musemaj11 Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 I'd be more then willing to have dinner on the table every night at 6 o'clock in exchange for the guy that helps with yardwork/fixing the car. I guess that that isn't chivalry though. hmmmm If u think you as a woman has specific gender responsibilities then its fair for u to expect a man who will meet his specific gender responsibilities. For me though both men and women should treat each other with equal courtesy.
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