JasonRules Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 Well, on April 11th I will be at one month NC. Funny, how things turn out. Initially you think this is hell (and it is). You have panic attacks. You go through withdrawal as you miss the person you were spending countless hours with in person, on the phone, going out, romantic dinners, walks etc. I would wake up in the middle of the night at 4-5AM, checking my mobile to see if the text you'd like to see came. As the days go by you check less and less. The pain become mute. Then, some days you're "ok", while others you have a relapse and you feel like crap again. Right now, I feel odd. While I do think of her on occasion, I do not feel this weight on my chest or pain anymore. Slowly, but surely I'm finding peace from within once again and I cannot wait for the time where I am back to my old happy self. So to all you out there who are feeling down or depressed due to relationship issues, do not fret. I know it is difficult in the beginning, but in Greece we have a proverb "The beginning is half of everything". So hang in there and if you need to release your pain or vent, do it in here. Do not contact them because all you will do is reopen your wounds.
loverboy1984 Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 Hey It will be one month for me on april 9th. I dont feelt the pressure on my chest but I still have a faint thought in the background at all times. I actually related to everything you described.The rejection feeling is gone but the shock is still there when I think about it. Part of me as accepted its done but another part is hanging on to hope because my relationship was 6yrs and I never got a real reason to why it ended, just have theories. I have a medical board exam in May and I think that she wont contact me until then knowing Im busy studying. But I cant help anticipating how a period of over 2 months of NC would have affected her. Studying and focusing has been hard still but Im moving forward everyday. Im Persian and we have a similar saying ( maybe you guys stole it haha). Good luck to you my friend. Im sure with your track record she will come back. Its nice to be in a position to make a choice than to be chosen.
Author JasonRules Posted April 7, 2011 Author Posted April 7, 2011 Hey It will be one month for me on april 9th. I dont feelt the pressure on my chest but I still have a faint thought in the background at all times. I actually related to everything you described.The rejection feeling is gone but the shock is still there when I think about it. Part of me as accepted its done but another part is hanging on to hope because my relationship was 6yrs and I never got a real reason to why it ended, just have theories. I have a medical board exam in May and I think that she wont contact me until then knowing Im busy studying. But I cant help anticipating how a period of over 2 months of NC would have affected her. Studying and focusing has been hard still but Im moving forward everyday. Im Persian and we have a similar saying ( maybe you guys stole it haha). Good luck to you my friend. Im sure with your track record she will come back. Its nice to be in a position to make a choice than to be chosen. We have to learn to let go completely and not expect anything. I didn't get a clear answer either and have theories as well, but does it really matter? The end result is the same. I'm not holding my breath for her to come back. The more I think about things with my head instead of my heart the less and less appealing she becomes to me.
SingVoice Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 Way to go JasonRules!!! I am on week 3 and I agree with you. I'm not checking my phone...I don't have that pressure in my chest. Sure...I still think about him sometimes...but it's definitely WAY better. Glad to hear you are doing so well! You are an inspiration to those who are just starting the NC torture!
Author JasonRules Posted April 7, 2011 Author Posted April 7, 2011 Way to go JasonRules!!! I am on week 3 and I agree with you. I'm not checking my phone...I don't have that pressure in my chest. Sure...I still think about him sometimes...but it's definitely WAY better. Glad to hear you are doing so well! You are an inspiration to those who are just starting the NC torture! Just keep your heads up high and say to yourself "I will NEVER allow you to break me or put my life on hold". Those of us that have respect first and foremost for OURSELVES know that we shouldn't chase, grovel, pine, complain, beg, or implore anyone. If they are too blind to see and appreciate our qualities and what we bring to the table then they don't deserve us.
smudge21 Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 Week 2 as of today and it's kind of strange as I am expecting a text due to the fact that prior to going full NC we were staying as friends (I got to a point where I couldn't do it anymore) and every two weeks, as I was already trying to be LC, she would get in touch. I do have good and bad days (tonight may be a bad one) and with summer hitting us it is bringing back the memories of that first meeting and all of the fun that followed. It is good to know that maybe in a few more weeks I may just be where you are. Thanks for that.
Fufu Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 After I started true NC, i've never counted how many days or weeks i'm in already. So I don't even know how long exactly I'm on NC. The first few times (2 or 3 times) when I broke NC, I only lasted like 2 weeks max. I'm quite proud of myself now. Jason: You are doing well Keep it up ^_^
longterm Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 personally I am not looking forward to waiting 1 month of NC. It will probably just be a Forever NC in my case but whatever. I appreciated reading your story. I hate waking up right now at the 4am and checking my emails. Guess we all just got to go through it and not even count the days anymore.
Author JasonRules Posted April 7, 2011 Author Posted April 7, 2011 personally I am not looking forward to waiting 1 month of NC. It will probably just be a Forever NC in my case but whatever. I appreciated reading your story. I hate waking up right now at the 4am and checking my emails. Guess we all just got to go through it and not even count the days anymore. I used to do the same; wake up for no reason at 3,4, or 5AM and would check my phone to see if she had text me. However, I stopped doing that 2 weeks ago. Eventually you simply do not expect to ever get a text/phone call and just stop checking at all. When you reach the point where I'm at you will be in a good position and you'll be "cruising" easily. The tough part is the beginning. Just be patient and hang in their. It does get easier; I promise.
1784 Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 Way to go, Jason. You seem to be doing quite well. Good work! You wanna know what one of the hardest things about feeling better is (that sounds strange to even write. What could feel weird about feeling better?)? When you realize that getting over someone, even though it does make you feel better day-to-day, makes you sort of sad. You realize that what you have to do, even though it's best for you, isn't what you necessarily wanted to do. Don't get me wrong, it's ESSENTIAL. Just sayin'. Don't mean to be a Debbie Downer or anything. Muaaaaaaa muaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
loverboy1984 Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 The more the days go by the more I feel sorry for her. I feel like what an idiot to make the biggest mistake and leave a guy who loves her and who was committed to her and who is successful, good looking and could have had an amazing life with her. Thats whats sad. Im not gonna discount myself for her acceptance. The question on my mind is what do you think the girl who dumps you goes through and thinks about on a daily basis after she dumps you from a long term relationship, like mine that was for 6yrs (whether it be because of GIGS, or just wanting to enjoy life without guilt of having a bf, or if they feel like they have grown apart but still love you)? I know that the dumper handles it better but I always wonder can they shut you off like a switch? or are they sad, regretful, but suppress it to move on? I have heard that the dumpee feels the sadness first then the dumper feels it later. If you think about it NC is both ways, as both people dont contact each other until the other blinks. I know my ex wont contact me anyways just because she knows im busy with something important and feels like im angry at her. I just wonder what shes thinking.
smudge21 Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 When you realize that getting over someone, even though it does make you feel better day-to-day, makes you sort of sad. You realize that what you have to do, even though it's best for you, isn't what you necessarily wanted to do. Don't get me wrong, it's ESSENTIAL. Just sayin'. Don't mean to be a Debbie Downer or anything. Muaaaaaaa muaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Well said. Knowing that at some point she, this girl who I still feel so strongly for and thought was so amazing, will at some point mean nothing to me. I always recall when things were ending between us that I could foresee this time coming and it made me feel worse as I never wanted to just give up on her and walk away. That feeling is probably what stopped me going NC a lot sooner.
1784 Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 There's no getting around the fact that whatever the circumstances of the breakup, it's, well, sad. It's sad for a number of different reasons. So even when you start approaching a level of indifference towards the breakup you still feel sort of sad because of that indifference. Even though you're feeling better you kind of miss that longing a bit. I mean, we all want to feel GOOD. Of course we do. We hate the hurt. But maybe it's just the fact that we had something to miss that saddens us. As usual, it's just a void. It's not necessarily our ex that we're missing.
smudge21 Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 It's so wierd that I can still recall feeling like this many years ago over another girl and so thought she was the one and that no one would ever replace her. Yet her I am with another 'the one' going through the exact same sh*t. Surely that in itself is proof that it's not really the person that is so special, but the connection we make with them. Once we have that emotional bond, it's so difficult to break. But it's not the person that we're bonded to, more how they made us feel. I do know that right now it's so hard to look at any pictures of my ex and think anything other than how beautiful she is. Yet I can also recall that I wasn't attracted to her at first. My love for her came over a long time of getting to know her. Her inner beauty if you will. My emotions and that bond have supplied me a pair of rose tinted glasses if you will. These emotions are whats keeping me feeling this way... not her.
nana841121 Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 I have been in NC for three months now. Delete all the contact info from him But still keep my Cell phone 24/7 open The feeling is strange now. I was the dumper, he is with his 18-year-old student now I despise him and am convinced that he doesn't deserve me But he is still on my mind all the time I just want a closure or an answer He gave me mixed message I kept telling me that i don't love him, he doesn't deserve my love while wasted many times on thinking about the possibilities with him
nana841121 Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 The more the days go by the more I feel sorry for her. I feel like what an idiot to make the biggest mistake and leave a guy who loves her and who was committed to her and who is successful, good looking and could have had an amazing life with her. Thats whats sad. Im not gonna discount myself for her acceptance. The question on my mind is what do you think the girl who dumps you goes through and thinks about on a daily basis after she dumps you from a long term relationship, like mine that was for 6yrs (whether it be because of GIGS, or just wanting to enjoy life without guilt of having a bf, or if they feel like they have grown apart but still love you)? I know that the dumper handles it better but I always wonder can they shut you off like a switch? or are they sad, regretful, but suppress it to move on? I have heard that the dumpee feels the sadness first then the dumper feels it later. If you think about it NC is both ways, as both people dont contact each other until the other blinks. I know my ex wont contact me anyways just because she knows im busy with something important and feels like im angry at her. I just wonder what shes thinking. yes, same question , what is on dumper's mind?
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