wondergirl_6 Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 I met this guy online, exchanged long emails for a week, he asked me out on Sunday, looked like he really liked me, then wanted to meet on Tuesday after work, we did and it seemed to me that he wasn't being too physically as he only very briefly held my hand. Then he called today (Wed) to chat for an hour, then he asked if I wanted to go out tomorrow after work, I said "let me see when I finish tomorrow". He then asked if I wanted to go to his house this weekend as he could cook for me, or if I had no arrangement for this Sat then he could take me out of the city... Is this normal? This guy is in mid-30s, single and well-educated. He behaved really eagerly and that's actually what makes me hesitate...not some "moves" of his. Isn't 3 dates in 5 days too much?? And another one in another 2 days??
neiu Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 lol...and then it's going to be everyday from morning to night. whatever happened to playing it cool and making him work for it? clearly you are doubting the amount of time that you are already spending with him so why not make yourself a bit less available? to me things seem to be going pretty fast but if you think that it is going somewhere then i guess it would be fine. I just wouldn't want to see you feel as though it's too much too soon and have any type of romance fizzle out and it become boring.
yessy21 Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 He sounds great! please dont see too much into it and just go with the flow.
SmileFace Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 He is horny. I am trying not to use my past to make judgement but I agree with this. You may see it as "Oh, he wants to spend so much time with me, he must really like me" But for all we know he is seeing, "Oh! I am going to show her all this attention for a week, get what I want and move along." Any way my point being. If you personally are not comfortable with this pace. Stop! Put a halt to it, this is your life. When things tend to move so fast and you are spending so much time with someone in a short period of time , there is a great chance that you create a sense of false intimacy . Tread carefully and go at your pace.
Andy_K Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 At least you can be fairly sure he's not dating three or four girls at once.
andrew-bkk Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 Way too much. The guy sounds desperate and inexperienced. Be careful of men like this. Online dating screws some people up quite badly. Lonely people become infatuated: what they feel is not in their heart; it's all in their head. Back off.
Enchanted Girl Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 Interesting responses because when I first opened this thread, what I thought was: How awesome! A guy who wants to spend a lot of time with you. Maybe I'm just opposite of you, but I lose interest in men that do things like only want to see me once a week.
JohnnyCage Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 A guy pays too much attention to you - RED FLAG A guy doesn't pay attention to you - RED FLAG A guy pays attention to you and to his friends too -- RED FLAG I don't get this. Why is everyone asking for advice here? And the responses in this very thread range from positive to extreme negative. How can anyone without even knowing this guy say how or what he is thinking??
Enchanted Girl Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 A guy pays too much attention to you - RED FLAG A guy doesn't pay attention to you - RED FLAG A guy pays attention to you and to his friends too -- RED FLAG I don't get this. Why is everyone asking for advice here? And the responses in this very thread range from positive to extreme negative. How can anyone without even knowing this guy say how or what he is thinking?? It might be personal preferences. My friends, for instance, hate dating "clingy" guys, while I love them.
SingVoice Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 I think it depends on how YOU feel about him. If he really likes you...then DUH of course he wants to see you. I doubt you would be THAT bothered by it if you REALLY felt something for him. If I was totally into the guy I would be really excited that he was being consistent and asking me out and not playing games.
EyesWideOpen Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 I met this guy online, exchanged long emails for a week, he asked me out on Sunday, looked like he really liked me, then wanted to meet on Tuesday after work, we did and it seemed to me that he wasn't being too physically as he only very briefly held my hand. Then he called today (Wed) to chat for an hour, then he asked if I wanted to go out tomorrow after work, I said "let me see when I finish tomorrow". He then asked if I wanted to go to his house this weekend as he could cook for me, or if I had no arrangement for this Sat then he could take me out of the city... Is this normal? This guy is in mid-30s, single and well-educated. He behaved really eagerly and that's actually what makes me hesitate...not some "moves" of his. Isn't 3 dates in 5 days too much?? And another one in another 2 days?? Is his name Joe, by chance? RUN! All joking aside, I would say no it is not "normal", simply because most people (especially guys) don't like to come off as that eager. It would probably be wise to weary of him. Does that mean cut him off and don't bother seeing where it goes? Not necessarily. A few more dates likely won't hurt (although maybe might want to avoid out of city or mon-public things), and if you're still unnerved by something that seems off about him...then it'd be best to move along. If nothing else it just shows your idea of personal time/space do not line up with his.
Cee Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 That's precisely how it started for my BF and I. We both were very social so we kept inviting each other to things. The first week we saw each other Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday for a sleepover. It was a whirlwind, but we do a ton of fun stuff in groups like parties, paintball, quizzo, dancing, art receptions, etc. So it doesn't feel suffocating, it feels exciting. By the end of that first week, I knew he was IT. I adore that man. I say it's okay if you are into him. Have fun.
musemaj11 Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 I am trying not to use my past to make judgement but I agree with this. You may see it as "Oh, he wants to spend so much time with me, he must really like me" But for all we know he is seeing, "Oh! I am going to show her all this attention for a week, get what I want and move along." Not necessarily true. Its hard to explain unless you are a guy, but when we guys are feeling 'hormonal', we feel strong sexual and affectionate feelings and those feelings are genuine at least at the moment. However, for some strange reasons all those feelings often suddenly disappear after the hormonal pressure is released.
Enchanted Girl Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 Not necessarily true. Its hard to explain unless you are a guy, but when we guys are feeling 'hormonal', we feel strong sexual and affectionate feelings and those feelings are genuine at least at the moment. However, for some strange reasons all those feelings often suddenly disappear after the hormonal pressure is released. That makes sense to me. I've always known that was true. That's why, when my boyfriend says,"I'll be with you forever" sometimes I anger him by saying,"I know you mean that right now, but you might change your mind in the future." Because my ex used to say he'd stay with me forever and he wasn't lying at the time when he said it, he just changed his mind later. I don't know. I've just kind of always understood that about men.
TokyoG33kyGal Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 come over to his house for dinner is usually a code for 3rd sex date lol if you like this guy then i say go for it. but if you are not comfortable with his pace then you need to slow him down.
BeginAgain Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 I met this guy online, exchanged long emails for a week, he asked me out on Sunday, looked like he really liked me, then wanted to meet on Tuesday after work, we did and it seemed to me that he wasn't being too physically as he only very briefly held my hand. Then he called today (Wed) to chat for an hour, then he asked if I wanted to go out tomorrow after work, I said "let me see when I finish tomorrow". He then asked if I wanted to go to his house this weekend as he could cook for me, or if I had no arrangement for this Sat then he could take me out of the city... Is this normal? This guy is in mid-30s, single and well-educated. He behaved really eagerly and that's actually what makes me hesitate...not some "moves" of his. Isn't 3 dates in 5 days too much?? And another one in another 2 days?? It isn't too much. Some people really want to be in a relationship like him and some don't or only want to be partially in a relationship like yourself. If you don't want to be in a relationship this committed then you aren't compatible and you need to break it off. Even with time don't expect that you'll want to be around him as much as he wants to be with you now or that he'll want to see you much less frequently.
TuffCookieX Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 Is his name Joe, by chance? RUN! Scary. I dated a Joe who moved too fast and always wanted to hang out, which made me hesitate and eventually I lost all interest. But I agree with Enchanted also, because I lose interest in a guy who only wants to hang out once a week too. It makes me feel like they aren't putting enough time or effort in getting to know me and by the time they're ready to date more, I've moved on. It has to be an even balance. Props that he is the one pursuing you, as it should be. Keep the dates limited to twice a week until you're really comfortable with him. The less time apart, the more time you both have to think about eachother. And above statement was hilarious that you can be sure he's not serial dating multiple women!
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