Enchanted Girl Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 Just make sure you are not being shallow. It's okay to have some standards for appearance, but if you have ridiculous ones, then you are going to be rejected repeatedly and find you are being paired with girls that don't neccesarily have anything in common with you.
somedude81 Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 Just make sure you are not being shallow. It's okay to have some standards for appearance, but if you have ridiculous ones, then you are going to be FWB'd repeatedly and find you are being paired with guys that don't neccesarily have anything in common with you. .......Fixed
irc333 Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 There's even UN-attractive women that won't date their own kind....that's how you KNOW people have unrealstic expectations. LOL
orangelady Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 I guess I just have to be more open minded. Sounds like you want someone who is 5'1 and 90lbs yourself. I guess this is how men who are not really attractive and who wants someone attractive but yet hates other women who are not attractive who want someone attractive. Huh.
Author LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted April 9, 2011 Author Posted April 9, 2011 Sounds like you want someone who is 5'1 and 90lbs yourself. I guess this is how men who are not really attractive and who wants someone attractive but yet hates other women who are not attractive who want someone attractive. Huh. No. I said I would be open to dating the physical equivalent of me. That means she can be chubby, and nerdy. Hell, one of the last girls I crushed on was overweight and wore glasses, and was a science major. However, these girls have unrealistic expectations, because they go after the same guys that the "hot" girls are going after. That is why I always say women are generally more pickier.
Enchanted Girl Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 No. I said I would be open to dating the physical equivalent of me. That means she can be chubby, and nerdy. Hell, one of the last girls I crushed on was overweight and wore glasses, and was a science major. However, these girls have unrealistic expectations, because they go after the same guys that the "hot" girls are going after. That is why I always say women are generally more pickier. No, they don't because you are describing me. I am honestly a chubby, nerdy, girl with glasses who is dating a chubby, nerdy guy with glasses. XD And it works well. We're both chubby so he doesn't harass me to go to the gym all the time or freak out if I have a donut (which a thinner guy might), we have the same hobbies as each other (I play D&D, write, play Magic the Gathering, video games, and like a lot of the same television shows as him) and I just think he looks very attractive to me.
lizwashere Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 No. I said I would be open to dating the physical equivalent of me. That means she can be chubby, and nerdy. Hell, one of the last girls I crushed on was overweight and wore glasses, and was a science major. However, these girls have unrealistic expectations, because they go after the same guys that the "hot" girls are going after. That is why I always say women are generally more pickier. Women are not pickier then men or more shallow then women, you will find an equal number of people who have unrealistic expectations in terms of finding a partner in both genders. Take a very dear relative of mine, he is obese and has been getting steadily heavier with age. In the past he has turned down women because they were too chubby for him and despite the fact that he engages in zero physical exercise he only likes slim, athletic women. Now that he's older he's starting to bemoan the fact that he's alone, yet refuses to acknowledge that he's passed up opportunities with nice women who really liked him because he's spent a big chunck of his life obsessing over women who were not attracted to him. Now, I have never told him what I really think because I don't want to hurt his feelings, but sometimes it's hard to bite my tongue and not give him a piece of my mind.
irc333 Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 (edited) Sure there are superficial men here and there, you'll find them in this large population of earth.....you just don't hear about men being as unrealistic as women though, reason for that is, women have the pick or are the one's that make the decision in deciding who to date. Men can be more lenient....for most men, all a woman has to do is "show up" lol Take this video clip on the TODAY Show Forget Mr. Right — settle for Mr. Good Enough Author Lori Gottlieb on the fading line between compromising and settling This is pretty much an eye opener into how women can be completely unrealistic in what they seek in a man. Whever a topic like this comes up, I always refer to authorship. She's also a woman that has realized she was being silly at one time in her life. She also mentioned how even her self wouldn't date a man with an unusual first name. Women are not pickier then men or more shallow then women, you will find an equal number of people who have unrealistic expectations in terms of finding a partner in both genders. Take a very dear relative of mine, he is obese and has been getting steadily heavier with age. In the past he has turned down women because they were too chubby for him and despite the fact that he engages in zero physical exercise he only likes slim, athletic women. Now that he's older he's starting to bemoan the fact that he's alone, yet refuses to acknowledge that he's passed up opportunities with nice women who really liked him because he's spent a big chunck of his life obsessing over women who were not attracted to him. Now, I have never told him what I really think because I don't want to hurt his feelings, but sometimes it's hard to bite my tongue and not give him a piece of my mind. So...settle, before settling is NO longer an option. Edited April 9, 2011 by irc333
GivenUp0083 Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 I always chuckle to myself when I read these analyzing responses about women's expecations and requirements. People are liars, and when it comes to dating not everyone is 100% sure of what they really want. I'll tell you what they want: Women are attracted to the way you make them feel about themselves. Make her feel pretty, make her feel special, she'll wonder why you are going the extra length to show her how great you think she is, you'll win her over. Why do hot girls date big fat jerks? Because he makes her feel like she's the most important thing to him, she gets to see "that side" of him. Everyone has it, you just have to find a girl that bring that out in you and show that side of you to her. Don't mind her little requirements and expectations....prove her wrong. I'm in sales and if I took every little objection my customers game me I'd never win any business. "We're a govt agency so we only buy from those who are approved for state contracts" - won 80% of their business in 4 months without ever getting on the contract. "Sorry, we already have a vendor we buy from" - that's funny, so did every customer I ever do business with, now they wish they bought from me years ago. "Sorry, I don't have time to set up a meeting with you" - now they call me up every monday to talk about the weekend's football games or what happened with their kids. What happened to not having time? Now they have plenty of it to talk to me. Stop reading into what women say so heavily, just find a girl that is true at heart and worth you time, then make her feel like she's the catch that she is. That's how you win them over and keep them.
Untouchable_Fire Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 Hello, I'm a somewhat above-average woman who's happy with an average guy. Explain that. (No, he's not wealthy. No, he's not a jerk. No, he's not tall. No, I don't feel like I'm "settling.") I actually can explain that. You are from a different culture! I see mainstream American women terribly dissatisfied with the attractiveness of the men available to them, because having a hot guy is part of the success standard for them. Like wearing a 10 karat diamond.
Nexus One Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 I actually can explain that. You are from a different culture! I see mainstream American women terribly dissatisfied with the attractiveness of the men available to them, because having a hot guy is part of the success standard for them. Like wearing a 10 karat diamond. OkCupid actually did a study on their data and they found out that most American women actually purposefully try to contact the guys that are slightly below average. I guess it's because they think they will not be able to keep an attractive man loyal to them. In fact the more attractive the man, the less he got contacted.
Darren Taylor Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 OkCupid actually did a study on their data and they found out that most American women actually purposefully try to contact the guys that are slightly below average. I guess it's because they think they will not be able to keep an attractive man loyal to them. In fact the more attractive the man, the less he got contacted. I read that article. I was on a site for about a month and though I got regular views and winks, I only recall 1 that went out of her way to message me. Still seems odd.
Untouchable_Fire Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 OkCupid actually did a study on their data and they found out that most American women actually purposefully try to contact the guys that are slightly below average. I guess it's because they think they will not be able to keep an attractive man loyal to them. In fact the more attractive the man, the less he got contacted. That is ridiculous because the same women in an OKcupid poll ranked over 80% of the men viewed as below average. American female standards tend to border on Psychosis... but they are grudgingly willing to settle until something better shows up. Of course better could be more attractive, more charming or richer... ect. Look, It makes sense if you think your targeting below average guys if only 3/20 really look good to you.
ASG Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 I always chuckle to myself when I read these analyzing responses about women's expecations and requirements. People are liars, and when it comes to dating not everyone is 100% sure of what they really want. I'll tell you what they want: Women are attracted to the way you make them feel about themselves. Make her feel pretty, make her feel special, she'll wonder why you are going the extra length to show her how great you think she is, you'll win her over. Why do hot girls date big fat jerks? Because he makes her feel like she's the most important thing to him, she gets to see "that side" of him. Everyone has it, you just have to find a girl that bring that out in you and show that side of you to her. Don't mind her little requirements and expectations....prove her wrong. I'm in sales and if I took every little objection my customers game me I'd never win any business. "We're a govt agency so we only buy from those who are approved for state contracts" - won 80% of their business in 4 months without ever getting on the contract. AHAHAH This! I'm an above average girl - pretty, slender, huge boobs (which always gets you more points on the hot scale) - and my ex was very overweight. We met at work and hit it off instantly, in terms of things in common. He asked me out about a week later and I'll admit... I wasn't sure about it. I said yes right away when he asked, but was kinda freaking out about him not being my "type" (I'd never been with an obese man - he's 6'2" and about 300lbs). But on the other hand we clicked on so many levels and he had these amazing blue eyes... And he cleaned up EXTREMELY well. So I went for it with an open mind. I still had doubts, until we slept together -which I was slightly dreading, but didn't fight. After that I was SOLD! I was extremely attracted to him both on the inside and out! He would look at me in a way that made me feel like a million bucks! Like I was the only woman in the world! We dated a few months and things ended up not working out, but not because there was any lack of attraction! So no, women don't *just* want to goodlooking hot guys. They want someone who makes them feel like they are the most beautiful of all women, even when they know they're not! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Author LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted April 18, 2011 Author Posted April 18, 2011 That's true. I guess I just need to find one of those women. They're hard to find.
orangelady Posted April 19, 2011 Posted April 19, 2011 Men can be more lenient....for most men, all a woman has to do is "show up" lol Not true for me. Many years ago, I used to meet up a few guys from the chatroom. When I showed up, one of them said he wanted to leave immediately. Men reject women for all kinds of reasons. Too short, too fat, nose too big, mouth too big, ugly hair, etc.
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