orangelady Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 I've seen it on here so many times. A woman describes herself as attractive. But she can't get attractive men, only ugly men. Then she gets upset that men only want her for sex. Well, what do you call what you're doing? You obviously want an attractive man for sex! Oh, and the kicker is, women are always complaining that men don't value their personalities, only their looks. Yet, they won't stoop down to give one "ugly guy" a date, because they value looks over personality. Bottom line is, if you want to be valued for something inside of you, value other people for what's inside of THEM. The love you take is equal to the love you make. hmmm just wondering, have you ever met "ugly" people with ugly personalities too?
somedude81 Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 Ruby, you seem to be one of the few women who value character over looks. It's good to know that women like that are out there.
orangelady Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 I do not want a woman who thinks Im ugly even if she is attracted to my personality because it wont feel the same. Instead of whining, why dont you ugly men give ugly women a chance? LOL exactly....
orangelady Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 I've seen more handsome men with ugly, fat women, than attractive women with ugly, fat men. I honestly believe you are from America. Man, it's totally different there. Where I am, it's the opposite. Simply because, it's hard for a woman to be fat here.
orangelady Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 Well, what do you do if you weren't born with great looks? Are you supposed to go through life being crapped on, made to feel unworthy, and feel unloved? This is my life. Solution?
orangelady Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 None. I weigh 210 pounds, and am 5'10". I would date someone who was the same height and weight. My point is that women don't want to date me, because I'm not good looking. If I looked like Johnny Depp, I'm sure I wouldn't have a problem dating. Women are shallow. Men are just as shallow. The only reason why I don't get dates is because I'm not hot. Men don't care if I'm nice, or funny, or smart, they just want a hot body and a pretty face. 1
Rhythmic Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 None, because he's a man and therefore entitled to be with only beautiful, sexy women - Fat chicks need not apply. http://www.largeandlovely.com/ There are plenty of sites that cater to big women looking for dates with tons of guys who will still date them. Are there any websites for women that have a thing for fat guys?
Rhythmic Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 (edited) Men are just as shallow. The only reason why I don't get dates is because I'm not hot. Men don't care if I'm nice, or funny, or smart, they just want a hot body and a pretty face. Have you gone your whole life without a single date ever since your not hot? Do you really not get any date offers on dating websites like POF? Prove your so ugly no guy wants you by posting your picture. I am going to make a POF and OKcupid profile for those pictures and tell you how many guys send an message. Edited April 7, 2011 by Rhythmic
Romeofud Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 I did not say hot, I said pretty, slim women with fat, sloppy looking guys with their shirts barely fitting over their huge bellies. Anybody who walks along 5th Avenue, especially in Midtown sees evidence of this every single day. That's BS lol. I pass through NYC and especially midtown 5th Avenue all the time & never see anything like that, unless you're just referring to a guy who might be a coworker of a woman and they're just taking a stroll down the block. Other than that, your statement is pure bogus. Hot girls are in demand, so there's no reason for her to be with an unattractive fat slob when a slew of of average, above average, and handsome guys with more to offer are after her. Women these days are really out of place!
carhill Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 In my lifelong experience as an 'average' male, my take-away has been not so much that some 'attractive' women 'hate' ugly or average men, but rather that, objectively, such men do not exist in their world. Having been a tampon to a few, I've heard the direct comments, and this from women who received constant attention from a wide variety of males. Those not meeting the 'first glance' criteria were/are brushed off much like one flicks an annoying bug off one's skin. There's not hate but rather dismissal and objective disdain for 'wasting her time'. Nowadays, when I get a whiff of the 'well, maybe I'll give him a chance' or similar, it's warp speed outta there. Already had a low investment marriage to one of those; don't want it again, ever. Bottom line is, if you want to be valued for something inside of you, value other people for what's inside of THEM. The love you take is equal to the love you make. Yup. IMO, health results from accepting that individuals who don't match up in this way have their own path, exclusive of yours. Nice Eric Clapton avatar and a great example of an average guy with extraordinary talent who had his share of romantic issues.
orangelady Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 Have you gone your whole life without a single date ever since your not hot? Do you really not get any date offers on dating websites like POF? Prove your so ugly no guy wants you by posting your picture. I am going to make a POF and OKcupid profile for those pictures and tell you how many guys send an message. The only ones who send me an email are illegal immigrants or immigrants e.g Nigeria/India who are here for short term stay and can't write properly and go like "baby, dear...watz up...hew r u?" something like that. I don't think they even bothered to read my profile. Others won't even have a proper pic, usually obscure/blurred/can't see their faces. I had two guys - one who wore a black hood covering 80% of his face and another one wore a mask. That's all I ever get.
Author LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted April 7, 2011 Author Posted April 7, 2011 In my lifelong experience as an 'average' male, my take-away has been not so much that some 'attractive' women 'hate' ugly or average men, but rather that, objectively, such men do not exist in their world. Having been a tampon to a few, I've heard the direct comments, and this from women who received constant attention from a wide variety of males. Those not meeting the 'first glance' criteria were/are brushed off much like one flicks an annoying bug off one's skin. There's not hate but rather dismissal and objective disdain for 'wasting her time'. Nowadays, when I get a whiff of the 'well, maybe I'll give him a chance' or similar, it's warp speed outta there. Already had a low investment marriage to one of those; don't want it again, ever. Yeah, I suppose. It's more like I'm the Invisible man. I can't even watch romance in movies and tv shows anymore, and view it as rational. I watch the Big Bang Theory, and think it's highly fictional, because a hot girl like Penny would never go for a male geek. Never gonna happen in the real world. Yup. IMO, health results from accepting that individuals who don't match up in this way have their own path, exclusive of yours. Nice Eric Clapton avatar and a great example of an average guy with extraordinary talent who had his share of romantic issues. I suppose this is right, as well. I should just state that these women are "out of my league", they're not on my level. I'm not going to state that they're higher up, because obviously if they're sleeping around a lot because they can, they're less evolved than the uglier person who is relationship ready. And Eric Clapton is awesome! I have all of his albums, studio and live, and I enjoy them all. I need to check out Cream, lots of people have told me that Eric was good in that band as well. Oh, and love the stuff he's done with Steve Winwood as well. Big Traffic and Winwood fan here.
orangelady Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 I suppose this is right, as well. I should just state that these women are "out of my league", they're not on my level I think you have a love hate relationship with these shallow but attractive women who won't date ugly guys. It's like you desire them secretly but you also hate them for not choosing you.
welikeincrowds Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 I thought my ex resembled Jake Gyllenhaal. I thought he was one of the most beautiful men I had ever seen. Hahaha, I've had this same experience. I thought an ex of mine resembled, like, Zhang Ziyi or something. One time I was discussing her with a close friend of mine, and I mentioned how hot she is, and he sorta made this face to me and said "I don't know, man. I think when we really like someone, we think they're the most beautiful people." It really shocked me; at the time I had no idea I was so deeply submerged in subjective affection. I also didn't realize how ****ty that relationship was, I mean she really had me under some kind of spell, poisoned my tea or some ****. That's BS lol.Nope, I can confirm her account. Although I do see the opposite as well, it's often the girl that's the hotter one. I think that's pretty standard though; women are the fairer sex, after all. ~ I sometimes worry about my attractiveness and my looks. I suppose we all do. I think that's natural and reasonable, when your true desire is to be accepted and loved. How attractive you are is the proven gateway to those desirable feelings, right? But acceptance and love both build on the concept of forgiveness, for faults or imperfections or sins or what have you. Acceptance is despite flaws, love is despite conflict. So thinking of attractiveness as the gateway seems right, but it's somehow not quite accurate. There has to be a healthy balance there, which is why dating is so hard. People, on the whole, don't love, and don't accept. And you can't make yourself too vulnerable lest you, too, become one of those people. My head is spinning just thinking about it. So I think the most reasonable answer I've ever found for this is, instead of trying to gain acceptance and love from others first, to instead (for)give, by focusing acceptance and love from you to yourself. Because if you can accept and love yourself -- you, your most intimate critic -- surely, others can too. Sounds reasonable, right? You've heard this all before, I'm sure. In fact, you heard it in the OP. "The love you take is equal to the love you make." Hackneyed and true. It's a good framework for living a life. Take the gym, for example. You take care of the things you love; if you love yourself, it behooves you to take care of yourself, so you go to the gym -- which will only make you more proud of yourself. And you are proud of the things you love. Imagine a father beaming ear-to-ear because he's simply walking down the sidewalk with his child; imagine having the same feeling for yourself. Suddenly these trifling material matters, like "how hot you are", are a bit of a moot point. I am also willing to bet, that if you continually apply this same love and acceptance toward others around you -- just as in the beatles quote -- you'll find the same result. Is any of this making sense? I don't know, I'm not so solid on the A-B-C of this yet. But OP, it's ironic that you've taken the essence of your advice and shaped it to a negative message. It seems to me that the negativity is your true burden, not your looks. You would do better to forgive, in yourself and in others, wouldn't you say?
Darren Taylor Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 I honestly believe you are from America. Man, it's totally different there. Where I am, it's the opposite. Simply because, it's hard for a woman to be fat here. Not sure what country you're from, but we definitely have an obesity problem here in the states. People(overweight people almost always) tell me(6'2" 170 lbs) that I'm too skinny and need to gain weight. It's an epidemic over here.
somedude81 Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 Heh, 6'2 170 is skinny. I'm 5'6, 165 and I'm not fat by a long shot. Dude, put some muscle on you.
Darren Taylor Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 Heh, 6'2 170 is skinny. I'm 5'6, 165 and I'm not fat by a long shot. Dude, put some muscle on you. Technically, you're overweight. http://www.freebmicalculator.net/result.php?feet=5&inches=6£s=165&version=E My BMI is 21.8. I'm in a very healthy range.
elaina Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 I watched a news program recently on this. A recent study has been done, and it's been proven that more attractive men and women are happier, healthier, and more wealthy. It's so funny how people make studies about the obvious. Well, what do you do if you weren't born with great looks? Are you supposed to go through life being crapped on, made to feel unworthy, and feel unloved? No, but do people who consider themselves unattractive not realize that most "attractive" people work hard to be attractive? Most attractive women, for example, don't just sit around typing on a computer and eating pizza all day. Most attractive women do the following: 1. They are very careful about what and how much they eat. 2. They work out, either in "natural" workouts or going to the gym. 3. They clean and moisturize their skin. 4. They style their hair in flattering ways. 5. They dress to impress. 6. They wear makeup that flatters their features. 7. They have confidence in knowing they look their best. Men who are attractive also take care of themselves. So, instead of moping and whining about not being "born attractive", both men and women can make it happen!
PJKino Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 It's so funny how people make studies about the obvious. No, but do people who consider themselves unattractive not realize that most "attractive" people work hard to be attractive? Most attractive women, for example, don't just sit around typing on a computer and eating pizza all day. Most attractive women do the following: 1. They are very careful about what and how much they eat. 2. They work out, either in "natural" workouts or going to the gym. 3. They clean and moisturize their skin. 4. They style their hair in flattering ways. 5. They dress to impress. 6. They wear makeup that flatters their features. 7. They have confidence in knowing they look their best. Men who are attractive also take care of themselves. So, instead of moping and whining about not being "born attractive", both men and women can make it happen! Its also called genetics Lets not live in fantasy land that everyones the same looking and just need to dress up
ivalm Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 Its also called genetics Lets not live in fantasy land that everyones the same looking and just need to dress up Most 4s will never become 10s (without excessive plastic surgery) but I think many girls who I would count ~5-6 due to weight issues could bump themselves to ~7-8 if they simply exercised/toned themselves. Similar thing with guys. There are very few people who are irreversibly fat.. most people simply overeat and don't exercise.
elaina Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 Its also called genetics Lets not live in fantasy land that everyones the same looking and just need to dress up Genetics shouldn't be anybody's copout. The only thing genetics does is make it easier or harder to achieve one's goals. Take the Biggest Loser for example. Many of the people who work out with Jillian and the other guy have obese parents, yet they don't get any sympathy for that. Rather, they are just taught how to work hard to get that fat off and learn how to care for themselves. Just dressing up is not the main point. The main point is learning how to take care of yourself.
DreamerGirl27 Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 How 'bout "ugly men" that hate "ugly women". It goes both ways.
somedude81 Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 (edited) Technically, you're overweight. http://www.freebmicalculator.net/result.php?feet=5&inches=6£s=165&version=E My BMI is 21.8. I'm in a very healthy range. LOLs BMI "Body Mass Index (BMI) can be used to indicate if you are overweight, obese, underweight or normal. It will, however, overestimate fatness in people who are muscular or atheletic." http://www.halls.md/body-mass-index/av.htm So your BMI may be fine, if you have little muscle on you. I did your height and weight and while you are in the healthy range, you're in the 21st percentile. "At 20th percentile, then 80% of others weigh more than you." Food for thought. Edited April 7, 2011 by somedude81
Darren Taylor Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 "Body Mass Index (BMI) can be used to indicate if you are overweight, obese, underweight or normal. It will, however, overestimate fatness in people who are muscular or atheletic." And most people are not muscular or athletic. So your BMI may be fine, if you have little muscle on you. I'm pretty muscular. Bone structure is also important to consider, but I can't say I've seen any 6'0" 200 lb guys that look slender. I did your height and weight and while you are in the healthy range, you're in the 21st percentile. "At 20th percentile, then 80% of others weigh more than you." Food for thought. Colorado and D.C. are the only areas in the U.S. where the obesity rate is less than 20%. 33 out of the 50 states are at 25%+(that's a minimum of 1 in 4!). Nine states are 30%+(talking 1 in 3). Here in California, it's hovering right around 25%. http://www.cdc.gov/obesity/data/trends.html Food for thought.
PJKino Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 Genetics shouldn't be anybody's copout. The only thing genetics does is make it easier or harder to achieve one's goals. Take the Biggest Loser for example. Many of the people who work out with Jillian and the other guy have obese parents, yet they don't get any sympathy for that. Rather, they are just taught how to work hard to get that fat off and learn how to care for themselves. Just dressing up is not the main point. The main point is learning how to take care of yourself. Im talking ugly faces not physiques
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