gwhizz89 Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 My girlfriend of 9 months called it off with me as she is going travelling for 5 months and then starting a masters and didn't feel a relationship fitted in. We are clearly both crap with break ups and kept texting each other now and again, eventually she came down for her last night in the uk (we were mostly long distance after she graduated - i'm in my final year) with all our friends. the first night, we all got drunk, she got with me in a club and asked to come back to mine, and being the weak person i am i went along with it all. We both knew it was wrong and the next day she made the express point of saying that in text. The next and last night we all went out, and she got with some guy infront of me and all our friends, which is absolutely heartless. She said she was drunk and we weren't together, but how could she move on that quick? its just awful, i think she did it because she didn't know how to handle our break up and was obviously embarassed about the fact she got with me the night before so she wanted to show me it was over? But Its just very disrespectful considering she told me she really cared about me etc. We argued about it alot the next day over text and in the end she started going kinda mushy on me, she started saying that it was so hard for her seeing me, it brought all her feelings back and she made a mistake doing what she did with that guy. "I seriously messed it all up and i'm so so sorry." and then a plating of "you're the nicest guy i've ever met" and "i'll miss you". Part of me was screaming "tell her to **** off, i deserve better than this" but i just couldn't do it. i care for her too much, but if she can turn round and do that so fast, it shows she didn't care that much about me? I just don't know how to handle this. I'm new to a break up really and i'm devastated, i still care for her even after what she did to me. I even left it on a civil note saying that we may speak again sometime in the future as i didn't have the heart to cut her out of my life. I didn't delete her off facebook i just hid her posts. Anyone got any worthwhile advice on what I should do? I'm so confused. I guess I should be glad that she realised in the end she was the one that ****ed it all up and that she feels awful about it. It puts me in a better position to get over her but i still love her and i am comparing every girl i meet to her.
coltsfan1 Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 things like these take time!! I started to feel better about myself after I made a few simple goals and achieved them. So that is what I would tell you to do, make some simple goals that you will be proud of. Good luck and keep posting I promise it will be easier with time.
Fufu Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 Personally, best way to move on is to start telling yourself "you don't need another person to give you happiness." I hope you have start NC to move on and regain yourself back and perhaps rediscover something about yourself as well.
steamie Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 Just do your best to focus on yourself. If you really want to be with her again just exhaust every effort to try to win her back and get her to change her mind, with you and hers relationship you don't really have anything to lose. If you go NC without knowing you didn't do everything possible, especially when the breakup is still a bit fresh, it will be a lot harder. She knows that you're quite the catch, a lot of peoples ex's aren't willing to admit that. With no regrets you'll feel a lot lighter and it will be easier to do NC.
Author gwhizz89 Posted April 10, 2011 Author Posted April 10, 2011 cheers guys. I do really appreciate the NC rule, i hid her posts from my facebook so she can't effect me with what she's doing - until a time comes when I can read her page without feelings of love etc for her. HOWEVER, one of my friends who just so happens to be travelling aswell in Thailand, posted on her wall and she replied (in thailand) so I saw the message in my feed, and it was all about her going to the Half Moon Party in thailand tomorrow. I know these parties are notorious for extreme alcohol drugs and sex. All I can think about is her getting really drunk and having sex with random guys on the beach and it really makes me angry and makes my stomach turn. I wish I didn't give a **** I know I too have the opportunity to meet girls and have sex n stuff now, but I don't really feel I can anytime soon, but I'm just so jealous of her doing it and the thought of her doing it makes me sick.
zakfar Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 First thing you need to do is, make yourself stronger for your 'Sexual urges'. You should not handle a relationship with the perspective of 'Sex'. Sorry to say this, but in this context, I consider 'Self Masturbation' lot better than real sex. You want her back? Or you want to leave her? This is a decision you have to make before you decide what you want to do. Ask yourself a few questions. Don't skip any of these, and repeat them many times a day for next few days: . What is my name? Who am I? . What is my age? How old am I? . What do I want to have in my life? . What is the biggest aim? . What is my idea of a relationship? . Do I want to be with the girl whom I love? I will do anything for her, and would not demand anything from her, no matter how she treats me. Whether she respects me and my feelings, does not matter. I love her and that's all that matters to me. . Do I want to have a girl who loves me? She takes care of me, respects my feelings, and will be ready to do everything that can keep me happy. Repeat them many times a day, and decide what do you want. You will see some changes inside you just in a while, and will be able to make a better decision for yourself, and your future life. I hope it helps. Zakfar.
2011 Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 (edited) cheers guys. I do really appreciate the NC rule, i hid her posts from my facebook so she can't effect me with what she's doing - until a time comes when I can read her page without feelings of love etc for her. HOWEVER, one of my friends who just so happens to be travelling aswell in Thailand, posted on her wall and she replied (in thailand) so I saw the message in my feed, and it was all about her going to the Half Moon Party in thailand tomorrow. I know these parties are notorious for extreme alcohol drugs and sex. All I can think about is her getting really drunk and having sex with random guys on the beach and it really makes me angry and makes my stomach turn. I wish I didn't give a **** I know I too have the opportunity to meet girls and have sex n stuff now, but I don't really feel I can anytime soon, but I'm just so jealous of her doing it and the thought of her doing it makes me sick. I would suggest NC with this one, it sounds like she is just not sure what she wants, is dazed and confused/wants to just live the party life for a while and you want her right now but she is not in that frame of mind this minute. Remember you cannot change other people only yourself and you cannot make her love you back. I know it is a damn brutal situation for what you are going through as I just went through it myself last 6 months so trust me when I say get rid of all things that remind her of you and delete FB, numbers, emails etc. and DO NOT contact her pleading or trying to reason, look at her FB or anything because you will suffer immensely - learn from the mistakes me and others have made on here, you need to heal and the only way is to remove all the things that remind you of her and what she is going to be doing in her life. Try not and feel bad about what she is doing, or more like what YOU think she is going to be doing, as it is going to hold you back and - again - get away from FB you will see and read things you do not want to see or hear and it will keep setting you back. 2011 Edited April 10, 2011 by 2011
Recommended Posts