Typical prob - insecure about guy checking out other girls

[stace79]

This seems to be a common point of conflict btwn men and women. I'm casually dating someone, and on his Twitter account today he posted that he was "at the beach-to my left, 5 girls throwing football"

 

I realize he doesn't say "hot girls" or anything like that, but just the fact that he's hanging out at the beach, alone, around other women, makes me horribly jealous and uneasy.

 

Seeing as other women have started threads about serious jealousy and lack of trust, how exactly are we supposed to overcome this? I always feel like guys I'm with constantly look to "trade up" or would be open to the possibility of "something better" coming along.

[threebyfate]

Aren't you dating a guy who still lives with his wife?

[stace79]

Aren't you dating a guy who still lives with his wife?

 

Nooooo. Aren't you proud? I did what I said and stuck to it. Told him we couldn't see each other anymore, and thus far he has respected that and not contacted me.

[threebyfate]

Good for you and I mean that sincerely!

 

The reason I brought it up is that the situation had the potential of triggering insecurities, since, if he can cheat with you, he can also cheat on you.

 

But if it's another guy, guys who are "all in" and relatively sane, will treat you very well and won't play distance and jealousy games. They're not going to be posting stuff like that on social networking sites since they'll be posting pics of the two of you.

 

Since you're in a casual dating situation, he's still open to dating others. Not sure you can expect more from him in this situation.

 

How long and often have you two been dating?

[stace79]

Since you're in a casual dating situation, he's still open to dating others. Not sure you can expect more from him in this situation.

 

How long and often have you two been dating?

 

Well... here goes my brownie points I earned. This is actually my ex that I've been on/off with for four years. We were "off" since November and had both dated other people and not spoken for awhile. Our feelings have never subsided, and we saw each other last weekend because he does some contract work at my job.

 

We decided to see each other and determine if things are truly different with us. (A lot has happened since we broke up last year.)

 

BUT, I have noticed I'm like this with most men. If I see another girl post on a guy's facebook or he has a back-and-forth banter via twitter or text, I get easily jealous. It's not that I think he will cheat necessarily. I actually worry more that guys keep this "grass is greener" mentality and that if they're constantly bombarded with messages/images/contact with other single, reasonably attractive females that they will eventually think someone else is better than me and break up with me for her.

 

Am I totally insane for thinking that way?

[threebyfate]

stace, I can't tell you if you're being insecure or not. One thing I have noticed with men is that when they're "all in", you'll know it. The two times I've felt discomfort, was one who ended up cheating on me and the other was seriously insecure, needing way too much female validation, in order to feel good about himself. I suspect that had I gotten involved with this guy, he would have cheated on me at some point, whether emotionally, physically or both.

 

So, net effect, I trust my gut instincts. You might want to look backwards historically and see if your gut instincts have been accurate. If so, you've got something to anchor to.