Woggle Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 When I talk to some people and I go some boards I get the feeling that many people think women are justified in cheating. They have a what's good for the goose is good for the gander mentality. Either that or they always blame the man. Am I just being paranoid again or does it seem like many women really see nothing wrong with women cheating?
denise_xo Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 Am I just being paranoid again? IMO, yes. [ten ch.]
Fight4Me Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 Absolutely, equally wrong. I don't care if her husband beats her to a pulp... get to a shelter and get a divorce, but don't degrade yourself by cheating. I also don't give any latitude for either gender who participates in said cheating (except if they truly didn't know the person was married). I believe in redemption equally for both genders as well (not that you asked).
donnamaybe Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 When I talk to some people and I go some boards I get the feeling that many people think women are justified in cheating. They have a what's good for the goose is good for the gander mentality. Either that or they always blame the man. Am I just being paranoid again or does it seem like many women really see nothing wrong with women cheating? What's good for the goose? Did the H's of these women cheat on them first? Otherwise, that analogy doesn't fit. Besides, who wants to be in a relationship where SOP is that you "get back" at each other? No. Cheating is wrong, no matter how you slice it.
Linda9999 Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 IMO there is never an excuse for cheating, ever, by anyone, male, female or other. Split up, then go out and screw someone else. In that order.
UnsureinSeattle Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 Doesn't matter if you're a man, woman, gay, straight or whatever.
Author Woggle Posted April 6, 2011 Author Posted April 6, 2011 What's good for the goose? Did the H's of these women cheat on them first? Otherwise, that analogy doesn't fit. Besides, who wants to be in a relationship where SOP is that you "get back" at each other? No. Cheating is wrong, no matter how you slice it. They didn't cheat on them first but some people including myself sometimes tend to see relationships in terms of men vs women.
Hazyhead Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 Cheating on a person to whom you're supposedly committed is wrong, regardless of gender, sexuality, or whatever. Learned the hard way.
Flgirl44 Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 If the man cheats on her then I could see how a woman might try to justify cheating. I tried to justify revenge cheating but realized the reasons and things driving me to cheat were the same reasons I shouldn't be in a relationship at all. My thought process was as such: "I hate that he cheated on me, Ill show him what a piece of crap he was being, what a lying selfish cheating jerk.....etc" ---but then I realized that these were reasons why I should leave, and end the relationship. Not one up him at being all those things I hated about him. 'You can't move ahead when you keep trying to get even'
whichwayisup Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 Woggle, why are you listening reading to that stuff? You yourself in the past on many threads have said cheating is cheating, reguardless if it's a man or a woman doing it, you usually give the same advice to the betrayed spouse. Stop readin that stuff, eh! All it does is feed your own worries and makes you resent and see woman in a negative way.
AuthenticBliss Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 I think cheaters are equally as responsible. I think the stereotypes still exist, where men are chest-beating, testosterone driven to spread their seed, and women are the nurturers and keepers of the nest. So as such, women may get sympathy where none is required (for either sex). Woggle, are you afraid your wife is going to cheat on you?
donnamaybe Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 They didn't cheat on them first but some people including myself sometimes tend to see relationships in terms of men vs women. Yeah, but you're getting MUCH better about that.
What_Next Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 In a word nonsense.... There might be distinct differences in the attempted justifications used by the various sexes (all of which are complete and utter bovine excrement by the way), but the behavior is the same no matter. Unacceptable, selfish, destructive behavior. Period.
ladydesigner Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 If the man cheats on her then I could see how a woman might try to justify cheating. I tried to justify revenge cheating but realized the reasons and things driving me to cheat were the same reasons I shouldn't be in a relationship at all. My thought process was as such: "I hate that he cheated on me, Ill show him what a piece of crap he was being, what a lying selfish cheating jerk.....etc" ---but then I realized that these were reasons why I should leave, and end the relationship. Not one up him at being all those things I hated about him. 'You can't move ahead when you keep trying to get even' Yep totally agree. No matter how the cheating happens or whatever gender it is, it is wrong. Oh hindsight:o
Memphis Raines Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 When I talk to some people and I go some boards I get the feeling that many people think women are justified in cheating. They have a what's good for the goose is good for the gander mentality. Either that or they always blame the man. Am I just being paranoid again or does it seem like many women really see nothing wrong with women cheating? to me yes, cheating is equal amongst the genders. but I have read posts where when a woman cheats, there is a good reason and it should be understood why. Whereas when a man does, he is just a cheating ahole.
Citizen Erased Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 Of course it is equal. A child could tell you that.
whammy Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 (edited) I used to think it is worse for women to cheat but that was back in high school. I have since taken women off the pedestal. Women are no different then men and in fact I think they are worse in relationships. I have yet to meet a good woman...a truly good woman. There are so many selfish, cruel, messed up women out there that I dont even take them seriously anymore when it comes to relationships, which is why ill never get married. tying your future and your finances to a womans romantic interests is beyond insane in my opinion. So no, i think it is equal because women are not any less likely to cheat. In fact, what I have learned from, personal experiences and, recent studies, women cheat quite a bit more than men. but when it comes to the actual physical act aspect of things, i think it is worse. for a man to get sex, it takes some amount of skill. for a woman to get laid, it takes...being alive. In most situations, for someone to exploit something so easy, people would say you are weak. Which is why i hate women complaining about the "slut double standard" that women complain about so much. "its cool for a man to get many sex partners but if women do we are sluts" My question to women that say that is...who is it cool with? not other men, as much as movies and tv make you think it. real men dont give a sh*t about the sex lives of other men. We dont high five each other say "awesome bro, you banged 3 chics this week, your the coolest!" so once again, who is it cool with? who rewards these men for bangin lots of chics?....thats right...you (women) do! Edited April 6, 2011 by whammy
woundedheart Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 (edited) Absolutely! There is no excuse for cheating. My WH has PTSD and until he started treatment was a horrible person to me and our children. I endured years of verbal abuse and intimidation. I was alone for months at a time because he was in the navy. I have been ignored in favor of the T.V. or computer for most of the time he has been around. Add to that the fact that HE is the one that cheated.Yet, even now, I would never be able to justify cheating in return. If you want someone else leave! Have some integrity! Edited April 6, 2011 by woundedheart typo
dreamingoftigers Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 I used to think it is worse for women to cheat but that was back in high school. I have since taken women off the pedestal. Women are no different then men and in fact I think they are worse in relationships. I have yet to meet a good woman...a truly good woman. There are so many selfish, cruel, messed up women out there that I dont even take them seriously anymore when it comes to relationships, which is why ill never get married. tying your future and your finances to a womans romantic interests is beyond insane in my opinion. So no, i think it is equal because women are not any less likely to cheat. In fact, what I have learned from, personal experiences and, recent studies, women cheat quite a bit more than men. but when it comes to the actual physical act aspect of things, i think it is worse. for a man to get sex, it takes some amount of skill. for a woman to get laid, it takes...being alive. In most situations, for someone to exploit something so easy, people would say you are weak. Which is why i hate women complaining about the "slut double standard" that women complain about so much. "its cool for a man to get many sex partners but if women do we are sluts" My question to women that say that is...who is it cool with? not other men, as much as movies and tv make you think it. real men dont give a sh*t about the sex lives of other men. We dont high five each other say "awesome bro, you banged 3 chics this week, your the coolest!" so once again, who is it cool with? who rewards these men for bangin lots of chics?....thats right...you (women) do![/QUOTE] Say what????
dreamingoftigers Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 I think when a woman "cheats" it is okay because it is the man's fault. Women don't cheat unless they have a reason to. When a man cheats it is because he is a piece of scum.
dreamingoftigers Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 I think when a woman "cheats" it is okay because it is the man's fault. Women don't cheat unless they have a reason to. When a man cheats it is because he is a piece of scum. Just messing with you. Of course it is equal and it is bull**** to cheat on someone.
Snowflower Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 Either that or they always blame the man. Am I just being paranoid again or does it seem like many women really see nothing wrong with women cheating? You know, I've seen many men here assert that many women will support or high-five each other for cheating. I don't understand this perception but who knows, maybe it is there. I can't speak for any other woman other than myself but when I read/hear about a woman cheating on a good guy, I get so mad. I think, "wow honey, here you have this great guy who many women would love to have and you're going to hurt him." This makes me feel kind of ill because I wish that the cheating wives should just be married to the cheating husbands and would be well with world!
thatdog Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 You know, I've seen many men here assert that many women will support or high-five each other for cheating. I don't understand this perception but who knows, maybe it is there. I can only speak from personal experience but every time I have had problems with a gf and talked it over with my friends. They either give constructive advice, ask if maybe she isn't the one for me and have I considered breaking up, or just shrug their shoulders and commiserate. On the other hand a have had 3 gfs that have had their friends SET THEM UP with other guys whilst we were together. Generally the justification was 'she's my friend and she wasn't happy I thought this guy would cheer her up. and besides playing matchmaker is more fun than trying to figure out depressing relationship stuff...'
bentnotbroken Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 Woggle, you are doing so much better...don't go back down this path. Cheaters whether men or women are wrong. There are no excuses or justifications that make it right. IF there were, every one of us would cheat because no of us ever have our needs met 100% of the time. Everybody would be cheating. Let it go Woggle.
Spark1111 Posted April 7, 2011 Posted April 7, 2011 They are both equally weak, broken and misguided.
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