frenchgal Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 Hello everyone. So… here is the thing. The man I love is unmarried but lives with a woman, the mother of his 4 years old daughter. They've been together for 11 years. I met him briefly back in August 2010 and we clicked immediately. I 'friended' him on Facebook the day we met, we exchanged a couple of messages, and then lost contact, but I knew from what he wrote he was interested in me. He appeared again in my inbox in November. We exchanged a few more messages, and then nothing again until mid-December. That's when we started writing each other daily. But I was leaving for NY for work, so I knew we weren't going to meet again before June, as I was supposed to stay there for 6 months. The message thing went crazy while I was in NY. We were constantly exchanging messages, maybe 15 a day, sometimes more. I had to leave NY earlier than planned. I came back home in February, and for some reason, he completely stopped messaging me once he knew I was back. We went on a date soon after my return. He seemed eager and nervous to see me, yet a bit confused. We spent the most incredible night together and shared the most memorable goodnight kiss. He said he liked me a lot. He said he would call me the next day but never did. Instead, he texted me two days later to tell me he was beyond confused and having 'contradictory thoughts' (do we have male translators here?) Then I left town for 3 weeks. We had another date when I got back and it was, again, wonderful. We shared a passionate kiss again, but this time he whispered: 'I like you too much. This is not harmless'. I still don't know how to interpret this. We haven't seen each other since. He has been really distant. I tried to ask him out but he said he was busy. He knows I'm going to be be out of town again for a while and yet he didn't ask me out. I can understand why he's confused, I know the situation is complicated. But why did he agree to see me in the beginning? He's aware of his own situation, right? Now I feel he's trying to avoid me and I'm hurt. Obviously he wouldn't be seeing me if he was satisfied by his 'marriage'. So what should I do? I'm crazy about him. I'm ready to wait for him to break up with his girlfriend if he needs time for it (he's always been the one to break up in his past relationships), but I'd like to understand if he's trying to protect his 'marriage' or his kids. I don't know if he wants to take it slow or just trying to dump me. I know deep down he has strong feelings for me, so his actions are just contradictory. Thank you really much for your help.
greengoddess Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 He said it in his own words when he said this is not harmless. He wanted a harmless fling and thought you would fit the part but he seems to think you would not be so harmless. He wants to stay in his relationship, it is not a bad one, but he likes you. Run. Do not get involved. The man is a family married or not with a 4 year old.
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