Ichinose Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 We've been together for 7years. We're much alike, of course not perfect, but we've always had respect. We're not living together, I just spend some nights there and the week-ends. On a sunday morning (i wasn't there), at 4am, he got up, dressed up, and went for an unprotected bj with a hooker. He said he just wanted sex, plain sex. He was feeling driven by something and he wasn't really in himself. Not stoned or drunk. Just stressed by many things that were happening between us, his work, his life... so the answer was a hooker. Two day after we were in the same car, passing a street known for hookers, and he expressed a bad feeling passing there. So I replied " Why? are you scared one will recognize you?" and I got a bad feeling. After a bit, he confessed: no, it wasn't on that street but still, he paid a hooker. Firstly he said she got in the car, started touching him with the hand, and that he just finished like that, in few seconds. I kinda was going to pass on this since there wasn't the complete act. Then after days, I've asked him more and it come out she really did what she was payed for, even if for few seconds. He said that he went home after that, took a shower, and cryed. So, he cheats on sunday, I found out/he confess on tuesday. He has sent me message crying and crying telling he didn't know what he was doing, that as soon as the thing started he realized that it was not what he wanted, that the scare of losing me forever was so painful.. I've asked him how did he managed to keep a hardon during those thoughtfull moments. I'm so angry. I feel betrayed. there's no trust anymore. Everytime I don't know what he's doing, I feel he's with a hooker now. I got angry not really for the sex, I mean, it can happen...and if you love each other and blabla, and you're able to forgive... it's ok. It's the unprotected part. He picked a hooker, and decided that a bj was more important than aids, hpv, herpes, hepatitis... he picked a bj instead of calling me telling how he was feeling. instead of me. He said that after that night, he has proved anything. He just got 2 nocturnal pollutions but nothing else. He already got tested for STD and he'll know the results soon. I don't understand. I thought he was a good person. An honest one. Then he drive to a hooker. I don't know what to do. 7 years are a lot, and you really know a person and got intimate. Can you wipe it out. Can you still remain friend? can you keep the relation, is it possible? Right now I'm only thinking bad things and bad revenge. As if there was something similar, hurtfull at the same level.. I can't find it. The only thing i can think about (have a good laugh now) is circumcision... if I can't chop of his thing, a surgeon will do it. Please, share thoughts. Cheating is cheating, but there's something crazy about this. It's not his behaviour. He has never justified something like that. Help.
PegNosePete Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 I got angry not really for the sex, I mean, it can happen... Umm no it can't. It can only "happen" if both parties want it to happen. Forget all this BS about "he wasn't himself". Who was he then, Hugh Grant perhaps? Wayne Rooney? He was himself. He did it through his own choice and lied to you about it. He's trickle-truthing, feeding you the truth one step at a time. First it was just a hand job. Then a blow job. Next week maybe it's changed again. I would bet good money that you still haven't got the full story.
ComputerJock Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 Stop haveing sex of any kind with him and immediately get checked for STDs. Sounds like he wasn't thinking of your health or your reaction to his cheating. You have to know if he now has an STD, and that he would have unprotected sex. Has he done this before? He may already given you and STD like AIDS.
ComputerJock Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 Yes, I know what he said, but do you want to trust someone who has cheated with your health and life. Get tested yourself.
EmperorR Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 Cheaters never give you 100 percent, lol at a bj for a few seconds . Why are you still with him?
Author Ichinose Posted April 6, 2011 Author Posted April 6, 2011 There's no fear for me in the STD dep since he hasn't touched me since. Of course on the two days i didn't know it, we were separated so there was no occasion and surely he hasn't touched me since! I'm not with him and I'm not sleeping with him. We had some mail exchange about a paper work but it was totally formal.
DollyGirl12 Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 I really feel for you and am sorry that you are going through this. No one deserves this. I ended things with my ex bf when I found that he was contacting people from Craigslist. I also found that he was searching Escort services. I was completely sickened. The one thing that I found with research that I had done, was that the percentage of escorts that have herpes is VERY high and it is easily transmitted orally. Made me completely sick to my stomach to think he could put my health at risk like that, or even think about it.
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted April 8, 2011 Posted April 8, 2011 He's a cheater. It doesn't matter if he shows remorse. He still cheated on you with a hooker. Dump him.
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