AFriend Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 Hey everyone, I'm a long time lurker haha. Posted a couple of times back when I was still in high school and now I'm out of college. Point is when I first found this beautiful place , I had been devastated after being dumped by my ex-gf of a year. This place was full of great advice and showed me that I wasn't alone. Eventually I stopped coming because as I was healing, this place turned pretty depressing haha so I figured I had to move on to continue my healing. Fast forward a year later, I'm now attending the same college as the ex. After a little over a year of NC, we started to talk after bumping into each other randomly on campus. And for the rest of my college life, we were on and off like every other year. I'm skipping a crap ton of things that happen, but basically tons of ups, downs, her cheating, and all that good stuff. Come my senior year of college in my last quarter, we finally decide to end this crazy relationship for good and I have been in strict NC since. This was roughly a little over a year ago. So why the hell am I making this post? A couple of reasons! First I want to let all of you who are going through hell right now, that NC does work and absolutely helps you move in the healing process. I've used it a handful of times and I am telling you there is light at the end of the tunnel. Even though I'm sure you're in extreme state of pain and maybe you even think that no one in the world knows your pain (I definitely did). A year later (yeah I know such a long time @_@) and I'm pretty damn good, minus your occasional "I wonder how's she doing?". I've even moved on to date other women. Which brings me to the second reason why I'm making this post. Recently after dating this girl (who was a friend first) for awhile, we decided that staying friends was better (2 days ago). Now that hurt a bit, but I also agreed that being friends was best. Here's the kicker: what really is killing me is that this got me thinking about my ex and missing her so much out of no where. I've even cried over it, not nearly as much as when we (ex and I) actually broke up though. I think the idea of having an actual relationship after a long time and it not going through was the trigger. It's kind of funny that I'm more sad over my ex, who I haven't talked to over a year, than the whole thing not working out with my friend. Maybe I didn't fully heal yet. Don't get me wrong through, I'm still light years ahead of the kind of depression I felt a year ago. Maybe this time I'll only need a couple of weeks instead of months. I do feel like everything has slowed down again and all of a sudden I find myself thinking that life is hopeless. I know that eventually I'll be okay, but dammit this healing processes is such a b!tch everytime ! Sorry if this was such a long post and if I sound incoherent... cause I kind of just wanted to write this out to get it off my chest and pour my heart out. Yup, looks like I'm gonna be on here more often again ahaha ! This time around, I think I'll contribute more. Thanks everyone!
nana841121 Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 You don't really miss her , you just miss the feeling that she once gave you You miss love itself , and you project this emotion onto her it seems related to her, actually not
Author AFriend Posted April 6, 2011 Author Posted April 6, 2011 You don't really miss her , you just miss the feeling that she once gave you You miss love itself , and you project this emotion onto her it seems related to her, actually not Sigh... yeah, I suppose you're right. Such a bummer haha, thanks .
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