lyeex Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 hey everyone. i posted a few months ago and now i'm back again. i really need some advice. to start off, i'm 20 years old. june 2010 i met my first love. i screwed things up with him in the beginning by sleeping with him the 2nd time i ever saw him, and i'm just going to be honest, i was still a virgin at 19 and i really wanted to experience sex, so i did it with him. i didnt plan on seeing him anymore after that and honestly didnt care if i ever heard from him again or not. But to my surprise, i did. and we kept seeing eachother casually. there were a few times when he asked me what we were in the beginning, and i said i didnt know. i wasnt sure if i wanted to be with him or not so we just kept seeing eachother. well, a few months passed, and wouldnt you know that i fell head over heels for him. i was absolutely crazy about him. this is when his feelings for me started to change. he slowly started to back away from me and we saw eachother less and less. i told him i wanted more but he told me we should just keep seeing eachother and go from there (i shouldve walked away then and there, and i would have had i known all the heartache he had in store for me). october came and i saw him one time in the beginning. after that i had turned into a late night booty call, and knowing that i wanted more from him, i would tell him no when he'd invite me over. this went on for a few weeks before he finally gave up. then in the middle of november, he randomly texted me one night to come over, and i said yes because i missed him and couldnt stand it anymore. but once i texted back asking his place or mine, he never replied, and that was the last i heard from him. i did some research (aka stalking) on facebook and myspace and figured out that he had met someone else. he moved an hour away from me and moved in with her, didnt say goodbye to me or anything, just left me hanging. i was absolutely crushed and deleted him from everything and didnt contact him at all. then february came. i was still getting over him but getting better. he friend requested me on facebook. i was shocked, i didnt plan on ever hearing from him again. i went ahead and accepted it. it took him two weeks before he talked to me after that. he texted me and we talked a little bit. then in march, i saw him again for the first time since october. he drove all the way to see me and spent the night with me. he said he was moving back and regretted moving away. i was hoping we were going to have a second chance to be together, but nope. almost a week passed before i texted him to see what he was up to and why he hadnt contacted me since that night. he said his life was a mess (which it was, went to jail for a night, finding a job, needing a place to live). he finally got settled back up here and i saw him about 4 times in one week. my feelings for him came rushing back and i was hoping he felt the same (NOPE). after the last time i saw him, he didnt contact me for about 5 days. i wasnt going to contact him but i had a pregnancy scare, and wouldnt you know the jerk pushed abortion on me the whole time. he said he would go with me to do it and "be there for me afterwards". i thought about it, because we werent ready for a child, but at the same time i do not believe in abortion when it could have been prevented and to be honest, i would love to be a mom. i wouldn't want to live with the regret of aborting my first child. i told him that and he still wouldn't give up. he told me that i deserved better, and that i should have a baby with a guy that loves and cares about me (which crushed me because he admitted that he didnt even care about me. i knew it in my heart already, but to have him say it was so painful, but i needed to hear that in order to move on). i told him that i was keeping it anyway and to leave me alone, which he did. he deleted/blocked me on facebook and quit responding to my texts. thankfully, i ended up not being pregnant. i would've been raising a baby on my own. i texted this jerk out of the kindness of my heart and let him know that i wasn't pregnant even though he had cut all ties off from me. and that was the end of it. how do you deal with the pain of being used? i know that i allowed him to use me. i just hoped that things would've worked out, but that's life. i've learned a lot from this experience but the pain is still there. i know that time heals pain, but i just cant believe it i guess. i feel like i'll never feel the same about another man and that he took away my trust for men, but i know that's not true, it just seems that way right now. any thoughts for dealing with this? i'm really busy during the day, school and work. but at night i get really depressed and cry a lot (crying is good though, i feel 10x better the next day).
Sheppy99 Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 Make a list of all the bad things he did to you and keep it near by when you're feeling upset over him to remind yourself you're better without him. Go for a run or go workout when you're feeling down. It'll boost your positivity and make you feel better about yourself. I was seriously a wreck over my ex back in september and using those 2 things and of course no contact was amazing. It's not something that will make you 100 percent better in a couple days but in 1 to 2 months. You'll be a completely different person.
nana841121 Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 yes, i did the same thing , made a list about his evil and wrong-done we are just tricked into the thought of loving him .
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