melissay2066 Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 At the risk of sounding like a silly little girl, I want to pose this question to you all. I am the youngest employee at a large doctor's office, and I have what is widely regarded as the most menial job there. This is not a complaint - I am treated with the utmost respect by both my coworkers and my superiors. I only say this to explain that while I have no qualms about my position, I am little more to most than the 22 year-old girl who does her work well, obeys the rules, and keeps her head down. This job pays my rent while I work on med school admissions, and I enjoy the reliability of it. All this is to say that this is a job, and not necessarily my career. So this is my issue: I have developed a crush on my boss. In the name of professionalism, I have not divulged this to anyone in the company and doubt I ever will. But he and I click in a way I find very exciting, both professionally, academically, and personally. To be clear, while we may joke around, we do not flirt; while he may praise me more than others, he does not show any favoritism; and although I technically answer to him, it's my department's supervisor (also underneath him) that I go to with questions, etc. We have little true contact, and I find myself craving more than our once-weekly ten minute check-ins. So how could I feel this out more? It seems to me the only way is to screw up and get called in for a reprimand, and that is obviously not what I want, haha. If there were a way to spend a bit of time with him to figure out my feelings, how would I it? I am not afraid of finding a new job if anything happened, it isn't about "career." But, that being said, I do not want to complicate my stable employment as "the quiet, good girl" if I haven't even been able to determine if he's even worth my mental energy So, how do I get more time with him? How do I break that barrier? He's thirty, unmarried, no children, and if nothing else I think he could be a friend. I just don't know how to get there.
Pfiend101 Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 Dont do it. You may lose your stable income. Which in turn could result in you losing your home etc. Find someone else.
Author melissay2066 Posted April 6, 2011 Author Posted April 6, 2011 What I really want in the immediate is simply to befriend him - figure out if I even truly feel this way. So what is it I do?
seibert253 Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 NEVER a good idea to become involved with your boss.
musemaj11 Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 Imagine if he were not the boss, but merely a menial worker like you instead. You would suddenly feel 'yucked' by the thought of being with him. Trust me.
liverpool fc Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 What I really want in the immediate is simply to befriend him - figure out if I even truly feel this way. So what is it I do? sounds like someone is keen.perhaps ask him out for a coffee maybe?
BeginAgain Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 At the risk of sounding like a silly little girl, I want to pose this question to you all. I am the youngest employee at a large doctor's office, and I have what is widely regarded as the most menial job there. This is not a complaint - I am treated with the utmost respect by both my coworkers and my superiors. I only say this to explain that while I have no qualms about my position, I am little more to most than the 22 year-old girl who does her work well, obeys the rules, and keeps her head down. This job pays my rent while I work on med school admissions, and I enjoy the reliability of it. All this is to say that this is a job, and not necessarily my career. So this is my issue: I have developed a crush on my boss. In the name of professionalism, I have not divulged this to anyone in the company and doubt I ever will. But he and I click in a way I find very exciting, both professionally, academically, and personally. To be clear, while we may joke around, we do not flirt; while he may praise me more than others, he does not show any favoritism; and although I technically answer to him, it's my department's supervisor (also underneath him) that I go to with questions, etc. We have little true contact, and I find myself craving more than our once-weekly ten minute check-ins. So how could I feel this out more? It seems to me the only way is to screw up and get called in for a reprimand, and that is obviously not what I want, haha. If there were a way to spend a bit of time with him to figure out my feelings, how would I it? I am not afraid of finding a new job if anything happened, it isn't about "career." But, that being said, I do not want to complicate my stable employment as "the quiet, good girl" if I haven't even been able to determine if he's even worth my mental energy So, how do I get more time with him? How do I break that barrier? He's thirty, unmarried, no children, and if nothing else I think he could be a friend. I just don't know how to get there. Wait until you no longer work for him and then ask him out. Meanwhile find some other guy to play with. You don't need to test the waters of your own feelings. If you crave him then you are clearly interested in something that is not a friendship and could never be a true friendship. Also never try to befriend a man if he is heterosexual. Many times there is some sort of sexual feelings on the part of the man. You are just stringing us along and when you first see him as a sexual craving you'll just end up stringing yourself along with the false notion you could be friends. Get a gal to be your pal. That's what they are there for. That's not what we are here for. I think you do want to be called in and punished in some sort of hot for principal fetish. You might need to try cooling off a bit. Office romances are convenient but don't end well.
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