Kiingsara Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 PLEASE READ. BEAR WITH ME. This has been a problem for months now!! I met this guy over the summer, and I instantly knew from that moment of meeting him, that I would develop feelings. I spoke with him, and he made me feel soft on the inside. Our communication isn't that great, we see each other occasionally, and I mean, sometimes every couple of weeks, or even every couple of months. When I see him, my flashback of "going out" with him for the first time comes back. Sometimes I will cry over and over again, or not be able to sleep because I want it to happen again. We went on a walk one night at the place we usually meet up. I remember asking (very cheesy, and immature) him if I could kiss him. He COULD NOT give me a straight answer. He told me something about I was too young... or something (I can't remember exactly, it was over 6 months ago[and I am about 10 years younger than he]). Then he asked me if I wanted to go with him to another city to pick up some marijuana for his roommate, and I went with him because I wanted to be with him for as long as I can. We went to his friends, got the kush and he took me out to dinner. He asked about my previous relationships when we were out walking, and I told him something my ex used to make me do which was feed him (my ex had cerebral palsy). He then said, "Oh you want me to feed you?" and he did, it was so darling! Though, i lost my appetite after he gave me a long lecture about love life, and how he wants to start having kids in about 5 years. He said he hasn't been in a relationship for over 6 years. After the night was over, he dropped me off, but before I got out of the car I kissed him. He was sort of into it, because he began to french kiss me. No hands on my or anything. Although, as I let go, he looked at me with big eyes as I said goodbye. Now, that was in October. Presently, we are friends, but he never talks about what happened. I don't either, because I am too scared to speak about it. I don't have lust for him, I just want to be with him and care for him, and I want to love him. I want him to love me, and yes I know I can't force that. I just can't tell what he wants. He's so friendly when I see him, and he'll always talk for hours if he could about anything I ask. Whenever I text or call him, he seems like he'd want to do something with me, but ends up blowing it off. I still live with my mom, and he doesn't so I guess he's kind of afraid of being an interference with my mothers relationship with me... but I don't know... What do you think? Does he perhaps some kind of feelings for me that I am not seeing? Do you think I should continue being his friend until I can't handle it? Do you think I should tell him about how I feel? This would be a great help.
thomasb Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 What a catch. A cheater and a druggie. If I were you I'd aspire to better.
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