Venus_77 Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 Hello everyone. Its nice to have found this place considering im falling apart over my breakup with my bf of 5 yrs. Nothing is making me feel better. Absolutely nothing. I miss him to the point where i have night sweats and panic attacks. But this is my story and i hope someone that has been through it can tell me that i will make it alive because i dont think i will atleast thats how my heart feels. My relationship with him has been up and down. When ever we have had arguments he tends to leave me bc i guess he cant deal with the emotional stress. I always gave him 100% of my time no matter what. I truely do love this guy and i was hoping he would be the one i would marry eventually. He is very jealous and i dont know if this is why he acts the way he does but here it goes this is what led to our breakup. About a year ago we had broken up bad. He had left me and at that moment i decided it was time to let go so i did. I hanged out with a guy friend and he didnt seem to be okay with it AT ALL. We got back together and tried to work things out but for some reason he kept throwing things in my face. Like how i preffered spending time with this guy friend than thinking about my relationship. But i never meant to hurt him. I just wanted to hang out with somebody and i never thought it would get out of hand this way. So now that hes left me again and this time it was bc of so much of being in my face about stupid things i blew up one night and i text my friend telling her how maybe i would have preffered to have F** this guy friend and maybe that way he would totally be happy. But stupid me forgot to erase those dam msgs and i ended up leaving my phone in his car and finding out he had gone thru them. He took it really bad and told me it was over. I told him he was over reacting and that he should look at how he has only hurt me by throwing my mistakes in my face. But that didnt seem to work for him. He said it was all my fault and that he couldnt be with me anymore. I've looked for him a couple of times to say i was sorry and to show him i cared and he would just tell me to leave. Recently we started texting each other and he said he was confused. He didnt know what to do or think. I dont know why i have so much patience for this guy. He clearly doesnt want me and i love him so very much. I cant seem to let go of everything we have shared. I dont know if i should just let go completely of him or wait around for him?? am i doing wrong by sitting her waiting for him??
Mov Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 Sorry to hear that Venus I think it is wrong to sit and wait on him anyway no matter what the story is. There is a lot of mistrust in there now - do you think it can be repaired and go back to the way it was at the start? Spend some time on you, pamper yourself a bit, spend time with friends and family and use this time to start NC. If he wants to work things out he will contact you. If he does then you both have to agree that the past should be left there or it will end up bad all over again.
Author Venus_77 Posted April 5, 2011 Author Posted April 5, 2011 thanks i really appreciate that. yeah i will try NC asap. My car broke down here at school and i called him to see if he could come help me. I feel like that was a bad move. But he offered to help me. I really wanted to keep away from him and not break the NC rule. But i will just go with the flow when i see him and i wont try to talk about us. That will be better.
Mov Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 NC heals you first, and it also give a person time to miss you and realize what they are losing. If you are contacting all the time then it doesn't get to that stage. Stay strong!
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