Vince1980 Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 Im the Other man...im 22. Shes 35. Shes married!. Ive been working with her for the last 7 seven years. We became close over the last 3 years. I listened to her problems. But i never had any interest in her. shes married with a kid. Im young and single. I do well with girls but i am picky. I became close to the woman over texts. I listened to her severe problems of her past. i really cared about her. as if she was my girl. Not my job i know.:eek:. I started inviting over to my apt for drinks. After the first few times nothing happened..it was all good. Then the more we cared about each other, the more attracted to eachother we were. One night we kissed. She came over every 2 months. Everytime i saw her i fell for her. shes beautiful but not attainable. It began getting sexual. But she can get moody at times. She takes her problems out on me. **** that. Im too young for baggage!. So I finally said to her i couldnt handle it...the affair. Its not right and its not fair. Ive my whole life ahead of me..She has a fixed life. Besides....if she'll lie to her husband...she'll lie to me right ?! She seems cranky i put a end to it. maybe the fact she wont get my 100% attention anymore and she wont feel 10 years younger!!. I said we'll still be mates.Im been positive but as for her..i dont know. I never ask about her connection with her partner..not my business. She gets jealous if i talk of other girls. So i dont tell her if i met a chick in a night club anymore. I just want us to be buds...Can a friendship be saved after it becoming sexual?
bentnotbroken Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 If you have been close for as long as you say....she is a predator. Grown women should NOT be sharing their lives with children. Working with her for 7 years would make you 15.
BB07 Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 Im the Other man...im 22. Shes 35. Shes married!. Ive been working with her for the last 7 seven years. We became close over the last 3 years. I listened to her problems. But i never had any interest in her. shes married with a kid. Im young and single. I do well with girls but i am picky. I became close to the woman over texts. I listened to her severe problems of her past. i really cared about her. as if she was my girl. Not my job i know.:eek:. I started inviting over to my apt for drinks. After the first few times nothing happened..it was all good. Then the more we cared about each other, the more attracted to eachother we were. One night we kissed. She came over every 2 months. Everytime i saw her i fell for her. shes beautiful but not attainable. It began getting sexual. But she can get moody at times. She takes her problems out on me. **** that. Im too young for baggage!. So I finally said to her i couldnt handle it...the affair. Its not right and its not fair. Ive my whole life ahead of me..She has a fixed life. Besides....if she'll lie to her husband...she'll lie to me right ?! She seems cranky i put a end to it. maybe the fact she wont get my 100% attention anymore and she wont feel 10 years younger!!. I said we'll still be mates.Im been positive but as for her..i dont know. I never ask about her connection with her partner..not my business. She gets jealous if i talk of other girls. So i dont tell her if i met a chick in a night club anymore. I just want us to be buds...Can a friendship be saved after it becoming sexual? Simply.......NO, not in a situation such as this. Sometimes in mature non affair situation after people have had space and time to heal they can get back to being friends, but an affair........NO and why would you want to be? I mean doesn't it keep you involved in the drama, keep you hooked in on some level? Keep you from thinking about it? Keep you from being completely free?
Owl Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 Im the Other man...im 22. Shes 35. Shes married!. Ive been working with her for the last 7 seven years. We became close over the last 3 years. I listened to her problems. But i never had any interest in her. shes married with a kid. Im young and single. I do well with girls but i am picky. This just seems....odd. So you've worked with her since you were 15 and she was 28...and now you're in an affair with her for the last 3 of those years. I became close to the woman over texts. I listened to her severe problems of her past. i really cared about her. as if she was my girl. Not my job i know.:eek:. I started inviting over to my apt for drinks. After the first few times nothing happened..it was all good. Then the more we cared about each other, the more attracted to eachother we were. One night we kissed. She came over every 2 months. Everytime i saw her i fell for her. shes beautiful but not attainable. It began getting sexual. But she can get moody at times. She takes her problems out on me. **** that. Im too young for baggage!. So I finally said to her i couldnt handle it...the affair. Its not right and its not fair. Ive my whole life ahead of me..She has a fixed life. Besides....if she'll lie to her husband...she'll lie to me right ?! She seems cranky i put a end to it. maybe the fact she wont get my 100% attention anymore and she wont feel 10 years younger!!. I said we'll still be mates.Im been positive but as for her..i dont know. I never ask about her connection with her partner..not my business. She gets jealous if i talk of other girls. So i dont tell her if i met a chick in a night club anymore. I just want us to be buds...Can a friendship be saved after it becoming sexual? I would say no. There's no true basis for the two of you. She's in another generation. She's focused on her family and her 'adult' life, and you're still in the single and start of your 'adult' life. Once the relationship went physical, it pretty much spelled the end of a "just friends" kind of relationship.
Author Vince1980 Posted April 5, 2011 Author Posted April 5, 2011 like...i try my best to solve her problems..listen for hours at a time about her devils. suppose i was trying to be a good person. i fell for her cause attraction came into it...she kinda fell for me cause i cared about her but i just copped on..its not right...nothing can ever come out of it.. just dont know why she cant see things now like i can.... we have had sex a few months ago just once. other stuff was just oral just want to be mates....im moving on. to find myself a girl i can have 100% shes the one doing all the negative thinking
Author Vince1980 Posted April 5, 2011 Author Posted April 5, 2011 cant really say my or her real age....shes 12 years older than me tho in her late 30s
BB07 Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 Vince......I'm sorry your are hurting. Do you mind if I ask you a question, do you feel that the sexual tension and teasing started when you were 15 or 16?
Author Vince1980 Posted April 5, 2011 Author Posted April 5, 2011 Simply.......NO, not in a situation such as this. Sometimes in mature non affair situation after people have had space and time to heal they can get back to being friends, but an affair........NO and why would you want to be? I mean doesn't it keep you involved in the drama, keep you hooked in on some level? Keep you from thinking about it? Keep you from being completely free? thats a great point...thinks thats the reasson for backing away a wee bit...im too young for her demons. plus the guilt of it all and paranoid of been found out
yessy21 Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 Better be a hell of a great job... im sure ur a dedicated worker. but um with all seriousness... u cannot expect her to just be ur great bud after intimacy.
Author Vince1980 Posted April 5, 2011 Author Posted April 5, 2011 (edited) Vince......I'm sorry your are hurting. Do you mind if I ask you a question, do you feel that the sexual tension and teasing started when you were 15 or 16? i first met her when i was 19!...just cant say my real age...im that paranoid she'll find this tread...shes not on the site tho. but ur right i am hurting because i have to back away from someone i love and adore.....its just not meant to be in that way Edited April 5, 2011 by Vince1980 spelling
Author Vince1980 Posted April 5, 2011 Author Posted April 5, 2011 Better be a hell of a great job... im sure ur a dedicated worker. but um with all seriousness... u cannot expect her to just be ur great bud after intimacy. i really like my job..i did well in school. gives me time to use my brain! i dont want to lose her..that why i want to least be a mate or pal. with her been older...she has taught me alot. almost like a mother figure. but i can see ur point. i just got too attached:(
jthorne Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 I don't know. In short, no probably not. I maintained a friendship with someone I had a previous sexual relationship with. But it was my decision to stop the sexual relationship, not his. He always tried every chance he got, so for him... He turned out to not be a real friend, just a user. I think once sex is involved, ego comes into play. But where you are concerned, she doesn't really sound like a true friend to you either.
Author Vince1980 Posted April 5, 2011 Author Posted April 5, 2011 I don't know. In short, no probably not. I maintained a friendship with someone I had a previous sexual relationship with. But it was my decision to stop the sexual relationship, not his. He always tried every chance he got, so for him... He turned out to not be a real friend, just a user. I think once sex is involved, ego comes into play. But where you are concerned, she doesn't really sound like a true friend to you either. ye she can treat me like crap...and it hurts..maybe if she has something bad going on at home. she takes it out on me. which aint fair i still dont know wat makes a married woman cheat
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