ihatedrama Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 I posted my story here before. My ex bf broke up with me after being together for 8 months (live together for half a year) and told me I hurt him before so much and he can't take it anymore (he said I never showed him that I love him). He suggested a break then I moved back to hom a bit. It was so hard that I can't do it so we broke up after like a week. He was crying and everything and said maybe one day we can work things out. Later on he stood me up on the day we suppose to meet and I found out later he was with another girl (they knew each other two weeks before he suggested the break and he lied to her that he had broken up with his ex for three month). I was so heart broken since I never thought he would do things like that. What is worse is that afterwards I found I was pregnant. And he was so cold and told me I should get rid of it without even went to the hospital with me. It was all messy and I was in a pretty much destructive mode for a while. We hadn't talk to each other for 2 weeks then I rang him up to get some of my stuff back. He replied when he wanted (Most of the time he must be with his new gf and would not return my calls or messages). I was so sad today after sending him message to get my stuff back without any response. So I let him know that I will just got and get it myself. (He is not aware that I still have a spare key). I went there with a gf and the girl is already living there with him. I saw all her stuff...including bras are all over the places. I felt so sick to my stomache. They still sleep on the bed where I bought the sheets and everthing. I was so angry (knowing one thing and actually seeing it has huge difference). I took all the stuff belongs to me including bedding stuff. And took all the stuff I once gave him as gifts and threw them away as well... Now I feel like I am a crazy physco...that we broke up and he has a new gf...why I still care. Why I still feel hurting so much by seeing all of those...Am I crazy by taking all the gifts and threw them away..I just felt so sick to even think about he was wearing the shirt I bought him and be with her...the belt..the watch and everything... Please everyone...just say some harsh things to wake me up.....thanks!
Fufu Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 Don't beat yourself to it. Ask yourself, why would you want a man who is not committed to you and even got himself a new gf after the break up? "What is worse is that afterwards I found I was pregnant. And he was so cold and told me I should get rid of it without even went to the hospital with me." There, do you want this guy to be the Father of your children? ------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Now I feel like I am a crazy physco...that we broke up and he has a new gf...why I still care. Why I still feel hurting so much by seeing all of those...Am I crazy by taking all the gifts and threw them away..I just felt so sick to even think about he was wearing the shirt I bought him and be with her...the belt..the watch and everything..." Please do whatever it takes to stop trapping yourself in the PAST, it's time to move on. Do start NC right this moment. He had hurt you enough, you don't have to hurt yourself anymore. It's not crazy to throw away the gifts, I did that too and I actually felt so much better. Please Start NC and begin your healing journey. Give yourself sometime to grieve and mourn but do remember to tell youself constantly that you need to get back yourself up. You wouldn't want to live in a limbo stage and trapped in the past, you will always want to move on, look forward and be happy in your life. Start NC and discover your life is a joy. Do things to occupy your mind instead of being sad and angry by his actions, whatever he done and going to do are no longer a matter to you. Read books, spend more time with family and friends, pick up a new hobby/interest, keep your life busy and your mind occupied. In time to come, you will realize how much things you have missed out when you were with him. Be glad and happy, he is not in your life anymore.
Author ihatedrama Posted April 5, 2011 Author Posted April 5, 2011 Thanks Fufu for replying..ti feels good that someone is there. I basically got back home and collapsed on bed without even being able to cry. All I have been trying to do is making regular breath since I do feel some physical pains..I need get strong..I know I want him to stay the **** out of my life for good..need strength to get better asap!
whatdoido1717 Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 ihatedrama, I dont have the sage advice that some people here do but let me at least say that you are not alone. You are hurting. I am hurting. There are a lot of people here hurting. Stay strong, you are a great person and will get the good things in life you deserve. Hopefully we all do. Good luck
Mov Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 I posted my story here before. My ex bf broke up with me after being together for 8 months (live together for half a year) and told me I hurt him before so much and he can't take it anymore (he said I never showed him that I love him). He suggested a break then I moved back to hom a bit. It was so hard that I can't do it so we broke up after like a week. He was crying and everything and said maybe one day we can work things out. Later on he stood me up on the day we suppose to meet and I found out later he was with another girl (they knew each other two weeks before he suggested the break and he lied to her that he had broken up with his ex for three month). I was so heart broken since I never thought he would do things like that. What is worse is that afterwards I found I was pregnant. And he was so cold and told me I should get rid of it without even went to the hospital with me. It was all messy and I was in a pretty much destructive mode for a while. We hadn't talk to each other for 2 weeks then I rang him up to get some of my stuff back. He replied when he wanted (Most of the time he must be with his new gf and would not return my calls or messages). I was so sad today after sending him message to get my stuff back without any response. So I let him know that I will just got and get it myself. (He is not aware that I still have a spare key). I went there with a gf and the girl is already living there with him. I saw all her stuff...including bras are all over the places. I felt so sick to my stomache. They still sleep on the bed where I bought the sheets and everthing. I was so angry (knowing one thing and actually seeing it has huge difference). I took all the stuff belongs to me including bedding stuff. And took all the stuff I once gave him as gifts and threw them away as well... Now I feel like I am a crazy physco...that we broke up and he has a new gf...why I still care. Why I still feel hurting so much by seeing all of those...Am I crazy by taking all the gifts and threw them away..I just felt so sick to even think about he was wearing the shirt I bought him and be with her...the belt..the watch and everything... Please everyone...just say some harsh things to wake me up.....thanks! When a relationship ends being replaced is one of the hardest things to cope with, let me start by saying you are NOT a psycho. He understands full well the torment you will be going through and will enjoy your discomfort at it. Start NC, show him you dont care (even though you do) and seems to be enjoying the feeling that you want him back so much. let him think he has lost you and he will panic, but do you want him back because he panicked or because he wants to be with you? I am doing that and speaking on here and googling help to get over ex's is helping me no end. I still feel as broken up on the inside but it will pass i know it!!
Author ihatedrama Posted April 5, 2011 Author Posted April 5, 2011 Thanks everyone..this forum has been helping me great deal and it gives the warm feelings that we are all hurting and caring about each other.... I am bursting into tears now and also being grateful that I am not alone...Hopefully all of us will feel better soon and find those who truely deserve us...
Fufu Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 "Thanks Fufu for replying..ti feels good that someone is there. I basically got back home and collapsed on bed without even being able to cry. All I have been trying to do is making regular breath since I do feel some physical pains..I need get strong..I know I want him to stay the **** out of my life for good..need strength to get better asap!" You will get your strength back "I am bursting into tears now and also being grateful that I am not alone...Hopefully all of us will feel better soon and find those who truely deserve us..." Hugs. You are definitely not alone. I learned a great deal from this forum as well.
Mov Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 Thanks everyone..this forum has been helping me great deal and it gives the warm feelings that we are all hurting and caring about each other.... I am bursting into tears now and also being grateful that I am not alone...Hopefully all of us will feel better soon and find those who truely deserve us... You definately are not alone, Fufu i have learned is one nice person on here and the pain inside, we are all feeling it to an extent, some early on and some later stages, but we in time will all overcome it, stay strong and when you feel down and even need to try to contact anyone, do it on here 1st!! x
Fufu Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 i have learned is one nice person on here and the pain inside, we are all feeling it to an extent, some early on and some later stages, but we in time will all overcome it Mov: Truly agree with this
Mov Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 i have learned is one nice person on here and the pain inside, we are all feeling it to an extent, some early on and some later stages, but we in time will all overcome it Mov: Truly agree with this Absolutely Fufu and talking to people in the same situation or similar helps us get past this, when you break up you can feel alone. No one on here is alone!
Author ihatedrama Posted April 5, 2011 Author Posted April 5, 2011 It is really great not to feel alone on this...helps a lot...to stay strong and try to move on!
Mov Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 It is really great not to feel alone on this...helps a lot...to stay strong and try to move on! You will have ups and downs! its important when you have the downs to talk to people who understand and stop you from feeling alone! *hugs* to you - keep smiling
nana841121 Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 It is really great not to feel alone on this...helps a lot...to stay strong and try to move on! It's late for me in my time zone, recently.i found this website, and read many break-up threads to get me through my breakup, it has been 3 months now. we are pretty much in the same situation. Your EX-BF is not good enough , losing him is not your lost, instead it's your lesson, Be strong, you are not alone. Never hurt yourself and your body, which is the most important thing. There , there
Author ihatedrama Posted April 5, 2011 Author Posted April 5, 2011 It is so weird that I constantly still feeling bad about the "crazy" actions that I did at his. My intension was only to get my stuff back and never thought that I would do things like throw away the gifts I gave him, especially something he is still using on daily bases. I was just so angry and hurt I guess..is this normal that somehow I still feel bad about what I did..? I mean am I suppose to in a "hate" mode towards him...But how come I dont feel like that. I would rather have tons of anger towards him..then things would all be easier..
Mov Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 It is so weird that I constantly still feeling bad about the "crazy" actions that I did at his. My intension was only to get my stuff back and never thought that I would do things like throw away the gifts I gave him, especially something he is still using on daily bases. I was just so angry and hurt I guess..is this normal that somehow I still feel bad about what I did..? I mean am I suppose to in a "hate" mode towards him...But how come I dont feel like that. I would rather have tons of anger towards him..then things would all be easier.. We all go through these moods in a split Denial, Anger, Bargaining, depression, acceptance. why NC is such a good thing, as we can regret what we say in the heat of the moment. Your story aside you have every right to be angry but you will rollercoaster through these emotions and not necessarily in order either. Complete NC until the feelings get less and there is no emotion involved when you deal with him and tbh if he senses no emotion then that will trouble him. There was a saying that an ex angry with you is a good thing, still shows emotion apposed to an ex that says they feel nothing for you, just stay strong!
Author ihatedrama Posted April 5, 2011 Author Posted April 5, 2011 Yeah..thanks MOV, I guess tonight will be super difficult as there are so many thoughts in my head that I find hard to just get rid of..I am sure I will and dont want to ever speak with him again in my life and he is exactly the same after today. So at least that is a relief for me. I will take some sleep pills tonigth and hopefully it will get easier each passing day. Thanks so much
Mov Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 Yeah..thanks MOV, I guess tonight will be super difficult as there are so many thoughts in my head that I find hard to just get rid of..I am sure I will and dont want to ever speak with him again in my life and he is exactly the same after today. So at least that is a relief for me. I will take some sleep pills tonigth and hopefully it will get easier each passing day. Thanks so much Anytime you, And if you need to talk then stay on here! x
Author ihatedrama Posted April 5, 2011 Author Posted April 5, 2011 Yeah..for sure..I will stay here even one day i do get healed..it is a great place..
shapp Posted April 15, 2011 Posted April 15, 2011 Him leaving you for someone else I know is hard. He thinks the grass is greener on the other side, he will be back. try nc if he really care he will be back. silence is virtue. the more you try to contact him the further away he will go. try to be strong. I went nc 5 days it was so hard i could not breathe, but he did call we are trying to work it out. you will be ok take it from me I thought i was not going to make it. do not sit in the house visit friends, family or just try to stay busy, if not you will only think of him. I think it will work out, but just think he broke up with you for another girl, or you sure you want him back, because he will be back.
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