HalfAlive22 Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 If any of you have read my old posts, you know I've been married for 19 years to my highschool sweet heart and have 4 kids. I found out on september 25th 2008, he had been cheating for 5 years with about 10 different women, he only told me because he was going to leave for the last OW ,then decided he could'nt be withourt me and the thought of me moving on with another man was to much..(if that even happend) anyway we tried for 2 years to make it work, but I've decided I want out! I've been happy and whole again and ready to take my life back. He on the other hand is begging me to come back, he's lost about 20 pounds, quit his bannd stays home every weekend and takes the kids everywhere! problem is now I'm feeling guilty..how is this possible!! I find myself getting weak, and I'm trying like hell not to fall..someone remind me why I left, so I remember I did the right thing!!!! tx for letting me vent! Link to post Share on other sites
BB07 Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 What has he done to address his issues? Link to post Share on other sites
Author HalfAlive22 Posted April 5, 2011 Author Share Posted April 5, 2011 What has he done to address his issues? besides quit the band and be home more, notta! he tried therapy, but quit,now he says he'll go back, but it's just to little to late, I've gotten use to being happy and not having that cheating cloud over my head, although I still think about it everyday.. Link to post Share on other sites
BB07 Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 besides quit the band and be home more, notta! he tried therapy, but quit,now he says he'll go back, but it's just to little to late, I've gotten use to being happy and not having that cheating cloud over my head, although I still think about it everyday.. Then he hasn't really addressed it right? I'm not you but I'd much rather have peace of mind instead of always wondering and waiting for it to happen again. I would think living like that would be hell on earth. Maybe you should talk to a professional or join a group for wives of sex addicts so you can understand better the dynamics there. Link to post Share on other sites
PhoenixRise Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 besides quit the band and be home more, notta! he tried therapy, but quit,now he says he'll go back, but it's just to little to late, I've gotten use to being happy and not having that cheating cloud over my head, although I still think about it everyday.. HalfAlive22 You are under no obligation to make your husbands life better or easier by staying with him now that he is in a begging mood. In fact, after he betrayed you so completely, even if he was in therapy, seeing a priest, getting an exorcism, and agreed to lock himself up in the house to avoid to chance of ever being alone with another woman for the rest of his life you STILL wouldn't be obligated to stay with him. You should only stay, IF your H is doing everything required to address his issues AND you truly believe staying in the marriage will add joy to YOUR life. In other words, It has to be in your best interest. If you don't think staying is in your best interest, then don't stay. You don't owe it to him. Even if he is sorry now. Link to post Share on other sites
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