orangelady Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 Men usually say that it's nice to have women pursue them. I think what this really means, is, 'it's nice to have beautiful women pursue me.' I guess this is also is true for women. Women like to be pursued but only by men they are attracted to. But I have a guy friend, who says that he can't stand it when a girl pursues him. He would feel like the girl lacks confidence, self worth or something. He wants to do the pursuing. I notice that if a girl shows a lot of interest in a guy, he gets turned off and would ignore her unless of course, he finds her attractive.
betterdeal Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 Yes, but isn't that a bit of a truism? We like attractive things because being attracted to something is another way of saying we like them. I'm hardly going to like unattractive things, am I?
Author orangelady Posted April 5, 2011 Author Posted April 5, 2011 Yes, but isn't that a bit of a truism? We like attractive things because being attracted to something is another way of saying we like them. I'm hardly going to like unattractive things, am I? humans are not things. Maybe its just me, I don't know.
betterdeal Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 humans are not things. Maybe its just me, I don't know. Okay, we can argue the merits of object relational therapy, or you can change the word "object" for "people" and consider the main idea I was trying to express.
Author orangelady Posted April 5, 2011 Author Posted April 5, 2011 Okay, we can argue the merits of object relational therapy, or you can change the word "object" for "people" and consider the main idea I was trying to express. or agree that men objectify women?
betterdeal Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 I can't agree to that, but miss the point as much as you wish.
Author orangelady Posted April 5, 2011 Author Posted April 5, 2011 I can't agree to that, but miss the point as much as you wish. No, I didn't miss it. I understood it. Thanks.
betterdeal Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 You're welcome. When you get bored of trying to reduce men down to unthinking beasts that follow simple rules, do let me know.
BeginAgain Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 For some men it is emasculating. I think you'll find more men that are receptive to a female pursuing them than those who will reject her but you need to be at least almost of average looks and not seem too scary or weird. If you act charming, sweet, and coquettish he'll be more likely to be smitten even if her looks aren't top notch. Though in my case based on my own personal history I would wonder what game she is playing and what scam she is running. I wouldn't trust her. I would expect she was trying to make a fool out of me for her own personal enjoyment and the enjoyment of nearby friends. Otherwise she is trying to con something out of me. No average guy cares about a woman's self-worth, self-confidence, or self-respect. It is just a bunch of bollocks guys feed women so they don't seem like creeps, stalkers, and pervs. Men are telling them what they want to hear. Confidence in the opposite sex is only important to women.
Author orangelady Posted April 5, 2011 Author Posted April 5, 2011 You're welcome. When you get bored of trying to reduce men down to unthinking beasts that follow simple rules, do let me know. why do you need to talk this way? Are you always this sarcastic?
BeginAgain Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 or agree that men objectify women? Everyone objectifies everyone. People only see others as a vehicle for fulfilling their needs and desires. No one really cares about another.
Author orangelady Posted April 5, 2011 Author Posted April 5, 2011 Though in my case based on my own personal history I would wonder what game she is playing and what scam she is running. I wouldn't trust her. I would expect she was trying to make a fool out of me for her own personal enjoyment and the enjoyment of nearby friends. Otherwise she is trying to con something out of me. I don't think it's a good idea to think women are all out to get you. No average guy cares about a woman's self-worth, self-confidence, or self-respect. It is just a bunch of bollocks guys feed women so they don't seem like creeps, stalkers, and pervs. Men are telling them what they want to hear. Confidence in the opposite sex is only important to women. Oh trust me, it seems to be a big deal for some guys on HERE. I guess maybe it's to divert the women from thinking it has to do with their looks. So it's better to say 'Oh it's your low self esteem.'
Author orangelady Posted April 5, 2011 Author Posted April 5, 2011 You're welcome. When you get bored of trying to reduce men down to unthinking beasts that follow simple rules, do let me know. I guess I do tend to generalize...but it usually is the case. Please don't ridicule or be sarcastic with me anymore....please....
BeginAgain Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 I don't think it's a good idea to think women are all out to get you. I don't think all women are out to get me but women tend to want to find something to exploit about me even when I have shown no interest in them. They usually like to do it in groups. Probably since they don't have the guts to do it alone.
somedude81 Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 There is a difference between pursuing and showing lots of interest/giving hints. I'd be a little wary about a girl asking for my number or trying to make a date. But basically everything else is fine. Actually, her trying to make plans once we've already had a first date is great. It's a good show of interest.
jean-luc sisko Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 Men usually say that it's nice to have women pursue them. I think what this really means, is, 'it's nice to have beautiful women pursue me.' I guess this is also is true for women. Women like to be pursued but only by men they are attracted to. But I have a guy friend, who says that he can't stand it when a girl pursues him. He would feel like the girl lacks confidence, self worth or something. He wants to do the pursuing. I notice that if a girl shows a lot of interest in a guy, he gets turned off and would ignore her unless of course, he finds her attractive. Looks is perhaps the major factor in dating, if not the exclusive factor. Such is life.
fortyninethousand322 Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 Men usually say that it's nice to have women pursue them. I think what this really means, is, 'it's nice to have beautiful women pursue me.' I guess this is also is true for women. Women like to be pursued but only by men they are attracted to. But I have a guy friend, who says that he can't stand it when a girl pursues him. He would feel like the girl lacks confidence, self worth or something. He wants to do the pursuing. I notice that if a girl shows a lot of interest in a guy, he gets turned off and would ignore her unless of course, he finds her attractive. Real men do not like women to pursue them. Men with low self confidence (like myself) certainly would love women to pursue them. But, these (not confident guys) are not the kinds of guys any girl should date nor would want to date. This has very little to do with physical attraction. Confidence is key.
Author orangelady Posted April 5, 2011 Author Posted April 5, 2011 I don't think all women are out to get me but women tend to want to find something to exploit about me even when I have shown no interest in them. They usually like to do it in groups. Probably since they don't have the guts to do it alone. They sound kind of immature.
BeginAgain Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 They sound kind of immature. A lot of it is probably far back in the past and I am just having a hard time getting over "once bitten twice shy." I just need to get over myself. Sometimes I can but sometimes I revert.
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 or agree that men objectify women? Women objectify men, as well. http://www.pollsb.com/photos/o/35115-jacob_black.jpg I sincerely doubt that the women who are fans of this actor are drooling over his hot personality.
Author orangelady Posted April 5, 2011 Author Posted April 5, 2011 A lot of it is probably far back in the past and I am just having a hard time getting over "once bitten twice shy." I just need to get over myself. Sometimes I can but sometimes I revert. I hear ya. I had guys call me 'ugly'. And once, I went out with a short, chubby and dark guy, a bunch of pretty girls from my school saw us and started laughing and chuckling at the sight of us. People can be nasty I guess.
Dust Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 “Men like girls that don’t pursue them.” As a man I cannot disagree with that statement more. At a certain point it’s almost required that the girl you are chasing turn around and chase you just as hard as you are chasing her. In the initial starting a relationship phase girls can be successful using different tactics. A girl can get a way with as little as introducing herself and giving the faintest of interest such as asking “what are you doing this weekend?” If she has balls and says something like gives out her number with expressed interest in a date she only increases her chances. The thing is she does also open herself up for rejection. You can’t get rejected if you just wait for guys to ask you out, I mean at least not right at that moment. But if you do what guys have to do which is ask some one out then of course you might get rejected.
BeginAgain Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 I had guys call me 'ugly'. If you have already shared a pic may I see it. I am just wondering if any of this is true. Sorry I can't reciprocate since I have yet to own a camera since childhood and only own a scanner with a dimming bulb.
Author orangelady Posted April 5, 2011 Author Posted April 5, 2011 “Men like girls that don’t pursue them.” As a man I cannot disagree with that statement more. At a certain point it’s almost required that the girl you are chasing turn around and chase you just as hard as you are chasing her. In the initial starting a relationship phase girls can be successful using different tactics. A girl can get a way with as little as introducing herself and giving the faintest of interest such as asking “what are you doing this weekend?” If she has balls and says something like gives out her number with expressed interest in a date she only increases her chances. The thing is she does also open herself up for rejection. You can’t get rejected if you just wait for guys to ask you out, I mean at least not right at that moment. But if you do what guys have to do which is ask some one out then of course you might get rejected. Hmmmmmm I like your input. Thanks. I have asked a guy recently (and I only wanted to be friends, I didn't like him romantically) "What are you doing this weekend? If you are free, let me know." All he said was "I'm busy with work this weekend." and never came back to me. So yeah, it does open you up for rejection that's for sure. But you see Dust, girls think this way: If a guy is interested in me, he'll show it. Even if he doesn't ask, he'll at least show some signs? After all, that book "He's just not that into you" says it all.
Author orangelady Posted April 5, 2011 Author Posted April 5, 2011 If you have already shared a pic may I see it. I am just wondering if any of this is true. Sorry I can't reciprocate since I have yet to own a camera since childhood and only own a scanner with a dimming bulb. I will try to private message you the pic. Oh goodness me. You don't have a camera? Don't you like taking photos of places, things, people? Which part of America are you from?
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