Wogs11 Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 Does anyone else have a problem with obsessing/stalking their ex? I have absolutely no will power. I shut down my facebook just so I would stop going back to his Profile and looking at the Photos of him and his fiance (Left me for her 2 months ago, they are already engaged and getting married in 4 months) - but I know the log in to my sisters facebook and I can see his profile through hers. None of us have him on facebook, but can still see his Profile Pics. She doesnt know I have her log in. I seem to punish myself by continually going back to see if there is a new photo of them. I think Im hoping to look at one one day and feel nothing, but so far, every new photo hurts 10 times more . Any tips on how to avoid obsessing over him? xxx
Mov Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 i obsessed over my ex for 2 weeks, enough to be labeled a stalker, after 1 day of me texting she had changed her home and mobile number and deleted her facebook account so that contact was barely possible. I thought it was a bit extreme after a short time but it depends on the person and how much they want away from a relationship.
Fufu Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 Before I got back myself, I stalked my ex's facebook profile everyday. The first thing I logged in facebook was to type his name and looked at his profile, pictures, everything. I will stare at his pictures for hours, this was how obsessive i was. Then I deleted him but I was not ready to block him, but still ended up stalking him every day in Facebook. It was getting unhealthy and I found myself getting exhausted and looking like crap when I saw myself in the mirror so I took the first step to block him on facebook and when I type his name, I no longer see his profile, I felt better but I still type his name in the facebook so I ended up deactivating my facebook account. I have recovered and I activated my facebook account back and I no longer search for his name anymore. It takes effort, believe and faith in yourself to stop being obsessive with your ex, it is hard but it can be done. One of a way I stop doing all this is I constantly telling myself, "Why do I need to hurt myself? Am I not hurt enough? Am I not being sad enough?" Another way is to take a picture of yourself now and take a good look at yourself, is this who you are? Is this what you want to look like all the time? Frowning? Sad? Depressed? Red and swollen eyes? Panda eyes? That got me woken up.
lapse Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 heh Yea. I have the passwords to his match and eharmony accounts - and his email. When I found out he was back looking online (I saw the "Welcome to eharmony email - checked it because I knew he was up to something), he asked if I had a keylogger on his computer and i said, "Dude. I don't want to see your nasty pron." For the record, I don't have a keylogger, but every now and then, I get the impulse to check his email, etc. Even though I'm not doing it, merely having the impulse feels a bit like obsession. And me hawking these forums to share in others' experiences, etc. - it feels somewhat like part of the obsession. I think this place is so healthy, though - in helping to stay steadfast - coming here throughout my workday instead of checking in with his email. I dig you all. I think it's natural. I think when you stop yielding to the impulses, it's a great sign. And you're better for it. And your healing is smoother and faster.
whatdoido1717 Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 I had to ask my best friend to change his password (which he willingly gave me) so that I would stop logging in and looking at her profile. Realized that no matter what I see on there it will not make me happy. Eventually I will see something that will suck, and I may even take it way out of context, and beat myself up over it. I gotta keep moving forward as hard as it.
whatdoido1717 Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 really sucked too because when I recently checked her page, before I had him switch his password, I noticed she updated her About Me to include Favorite Sports Team: Portland Trail Blazers (which I introduced her to and became our team) Favorite Player: Patty Mills (the jersey I bought her when we went and also bought her a rare custom shirt of him) It was hard not to take this as breadcrumbs, but it really isn't
Fufu Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 haha oh ya i also logged in to his facebook profile to see his messages as well. Duh, now thinking back I really did a lot of silly things.
butterfly2011 Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 Have your sister change her password for one,,,,that will help. I have all his passwords too....sucks.... he knows i have them and although I never find anything that is hurtful or wrong... I still look. Bad bad, he deserves his privacy whether we are together or not. I have no self control at this time...... I can listen to his voicemails, see his bank account, see his phone usage, emails, ... and actually phone usage is killing me... lol he just got his new month on Sunday afternoon and his voice call are at 31, so I dont think he is speaking to another female unless they are meeting up and not on the phone... texts are at 34 in which 20 of them are from him and I on Sunday..... the others...who knows.... friends? He is a very likeable person and friends do text him.. He is an attention whore... his self esteem isnt what is should be. And I hurt him with words... no wonder he back off.... Gotta get him back
nana841121 Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 I checked ex's blog thousand times a day, meanwhile i teased him about his words picking furtively. i was pathetically miserable it's all past now. i feel better that i conquer myself.
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