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Is this a sign of controling behaviour?

Eternal Sunshine

By Eternal Sunshine
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Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

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I am not sure so you tell me.

 

My bf occasionally suggests restaurants we should check out. We like the same food so I like his suggestions. A few times I told him that I going to call and make reservations and looked it up on the map and suggested a way to get there.

 

His reply every time was "Don't meddle in my plans :) I invited you, so I am going to take care of all that :) Of course, I already know where the restaurant is :)"

 

I mean WTH I was just trying to be helpful.

 

Thoughts?

threebyfate Established Member

threebyfate

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Just relax and enjoy it. He wants to take care of everything since he's invited YOU.

 

I'd just respond "You're so wonderful. Can't wait!". *kisses*

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Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

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Just relax and enjoy it. He wants to take care of everything since he's invited YOU.

 

I'd just respond "You're so wonderful. Can't wait!". *kisses*

 

I did respond with something like that. I think I am used to the guys where I had to do everything.

 

I am also trying hard to find some red flags here, but there don't seem to be any :laugh:

threebyfate Established Member

threebyfate

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Don't you dare. Just relax and enjoy a great guy! :laugh:

Kamille Established Member

Kamille

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Nope, not controlling. Just sweet and awesome.

 

As TBF said, relax and enjoy a great guy!

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Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

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I texted him: BTW you are wonderful!

 

He responded with: and you are exceptional <3

 

:love:

threebyfate Established Member

threebyfate

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Hey ladies, isn't nice to have mature men who know what to do? It's such a pleasure! :love:

 

ES, you should think up something nice to spoil him back with, where he too can put his feet up and relax. What are his interests? Sports, theatre sports, symphony, what does he like to do?

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Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

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He likes theater and opera (and so do I) but there is currently a comedy festival in our city so I was thinking of getting us a couple of tickets to go and see his favorite comedian :)

threebyfate Established Member

threebyfate

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Great idea! Plan it all and drive too, unless he's a white knuckler. :laugh:

 

When it comes to driving, H. is a control freak. But he's such an aggressive driver that he scares me sometimes so my preference is to be the driver. When we can't agree, we take two cars! :lmao:

zengirl Established Member

zengirl

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I am not sure so you tell me.

 

My bf occasionally suggests restaurants we should check out. We like the same food so I like his suggestions. A few times I told him that I going to call and make reservations and looked it up on the map and suggested a way to get there.

 

His reply every time was "Don't meddle in my plans :) I invited you, so I am going to take care of all that :) Of course, I already know where the restaurant is :)"

 

I mean WTH I was just trying to be helpful.

 

Thoughts?

 

No, a better example of (very mild) controlling behavior would be if he always thought your suggestions were bad or something (i.e. you suggest a restaurant, and he were to say, "Why don't you leave restaurant suggestions to me" or something in a condescending way).

 

From what I've heard of this BF, I seriously suggest he'd do that. He's just trying to be a gentleman. :)

daphne Established Member

daphne

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We should all be so lucky to find a man that takes the initiative to try to make us happy. I don't think that's controlling. You're going to have to look harder for a red flag, I think.

 

PS Your baby ducks make me smile. :bunny:

eerie_reverie Established Member

eerie_reverie

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ES, your bf sounds like a great guy and is cute to boot. Enjoy it!

welikeincrowds Established Member

welikeincrowds

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I am not sure so you tell me.

 

I occasionally text my girlfriend just to tell her that I love her.

 

Her reply every time is "I love you more :)"

 

I mean WTH I'm just trying to express affection. It's like she always needs to have the upper hand in the relationship. I'm thinking I should break up with her now before things get bad.

 

Thoughts?

zengirl Established Member

zengirl

Posted
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I am not sure so you tell me.

 

I occasionally text my girlfriend just to tell her that I love her.

 

Her reply every time is "I love you more :)"

 

I mean WTH I'm just trying to express affection. It's like she always needs to have the upper hand in the relationship. I'm thinking I should break up with her now before things get bad.

 

Thoughts?

 

Are you serious, or was this a playful post?

 

If you're serious. . . . Wow, that's an overreaction. "I love you more!" is just a commonly cutesy response to the statement. Not my style (to be cutesy) but I'd never take offense.

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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Are you serious, or was this a playful post?

 

It was pretty clear to me that he was being facetious... ;)

zengirl Established Member

zengirl

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It was pretty clear to me that he was being facetious... ;)

 

I thought so, but I can never tell on these boards and didn't remember that poster's personal story/usual tone. So wasn't sure and wanted someone to address it before he did something ridiculous. I've seen people who put forth such ideas on LS before.

Titania22 Established Member

Titania22

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I am not sure so you tell me.

 

I occasionally text my girlfriend just to tell her that I love her.

 

Her reply every time is "I love you more :)"

 

I mean WTH I'm just trying to express affection. It's like she always needs to have the upper hand in the relationship. I'm thinking I should break up with her now before things get bad.

 

Thoughts?

 

Too Funny! :lmao:

johan Established Member

johan

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Based on how I read it, I'd have to say yes. Getting out a map and trying to tell him which way to drive is a bit... controlling. It's fortunate you have nice legs.

johan Established Member

johan

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I am not sure so you tell me.

 

I occasionally text my girlfriend just to tell her that I love her.

 

Her reply every time is "I love you more :)"

 

I mean WTH I'm just trying to express affection. It's like she always needs to have the upper hand in the relationship. I'm thinking I should break up with her now before things get bad.

 

Thoughts?

 

Next time tell her, "my love for you is infinite.". And just as she opens her mouth to respond say, "plus one hundred!"

welikeincrowds Established Member

welikeincrowds

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Based on how I read it, I'd have to say yes. Getting out a map and trying to tell him which way to drive is a bit... controlling. It's fortunate you have nice legs.

 

You are consistently 10 times more clever than me. And I try really hard to be clever as you can clearly see.

 

Whenever you decide to put yourself out there, you are going to make a lucky girl very happy to be around you. That's what I think.

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Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

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Any chance of a pic johan? :)

 

Welike you could throw one in too.

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Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

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ES, your bf sounds like a great guy and is cute to boot. Enjoy it!

 

Thanks spookie, your opinion means a lot :)

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