wondergirl_6 Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 I met a guy online, his profile says he's 31, I'm in my mid-20s and I set my profile that only guys between 27-35 could email me. We exchanged long emails and he sounded like a very knowledgeable person. I agreed to meet up then and we had very comfortable conversation while he showed me another side of this city. He looked older than 31 though but I didn't bring it up, he said himself "we'll talk about my age later" which then confirmed my suspicion. I thought it was ok if he changed his age to email me and came clean as soon as we met in person. But instead when I brought up his age issue later he told me in a half joking way he's 45! I played along and he repeatedly told me he's 45. Since he mentioned he finished his phd when he was 25, I then checked online thesis database after I came back home, it was published in 2000 which means he's actually 36. This is also matching with the animal sign he told me (rabbit) and the way he looks. I was quite angry as he was obviously playing with me, I could tell he liked me but why lying about something simple as age?? Right after I got back he texted and thanked me for the day, wanted to see me again and once again said he's 45! So I emailed him saying that I found it difficult to trust people who lied easily. I didn't point out it's his age issue though. Now if I were him I'd be really embarrassed, but instead he replied my email nicely saying that he didn't tell any outrageous lies and explained a few other minor issue I mentioned in my email. Then at the very end of his email he said "ps. Will definitely disclose how old I am next time. That's fair no?" Basically he didn't get what I was accusing at all! Of course I emailed back pointing his lies out. He texted me soon after saying he missed me already and would reply later today. What exactly is his problem?? Is it a major red flag?? PS. I mentioned that I dated a guy who's a doctor before in my email so when we were chatting he told me his ex was also a doctor actually and he didn't want to hide it...I was confused and told him that guy was just a date, he wasn't my ex. He looked like he regretted bringing uo his ex a lot:laugh: Ok, so he came clean on his ex but not his fake age??
BeginAgain Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 Well you sure are chomping at the bit to date a young doctor for some reason. Are you trying to prove something to someone?
Author wondergirl_6 Posted April 4, 2011 Author Posted April 4, 2011 ^Sorry I don't understand what you meant, I never mentioned the age of the doctor to him or here so I don't know where you got this "young doctor" idea. I mentioned it only because we were discussing something about the middle class of this country etc, I didn't give any details.
BeginAgain Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 You have gone out with 2 doctors and you only accept contact from those in the 27-35 range so I deduced you have the beginnings or possibly even a full blown case of a young doctor fetish.
kiss_andmakeup Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 What a weirdo. Yes, it's a red flag in my opinion.
BeginAgain Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 I think it is a hook he uses to create a false sense of mystery to generate more dates since women give up quickly on any guy after very few dates especially young women who have many other prospects. This harmless game he is playing you are overreacting to maybe due to a strict Protestant upbringing because they are the only ones so concerned about lying even though no one ever tells the complete truth.
Author wondergirl_6 Posted April 4, 2011 Author Posted April 4, 2011 You have gone out with 2 doctors and you only accept contact from those in the 27-35 range so I deduced you have the beginnings or possibly even a full blown case of a young doctor fetish. Huh?? The doctor I mentioned was a hospital doctor who didn't have a phd degree. This current guy who lied about his age didn't even tell me he had a phd (not in medicine) before we met (yes, weird as it sounded, it's true!), his profile said he had "graduate degree". And for your information I'm phd myself but I have dated guys with different degrees. You really have to make sure your sampling is completely random to make any deduction you know?
kiss_andmakeup Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 Huh?? The doctor I mentioned was a hospital doctor who didn't have a phd degree. This current guy who lied about his age didn't even tell me he had a phd (not in medicine) before we met (yes, weird as it sounded, it's true!), his profile said he had "graduate degree". And for your information I'm phd myself but I have dated guys with different degrees. You really have to make sure your sampling is completely random to make any deduction you know? OP, he/she is just trolling, ignore it.
SweetDaphne Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 Wondergirl - ignore 'BeginAgain.' None of their postings ever make sense.
NoMagicBullet Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 So I emailed him saying that I found it difficult to trust people who lied easily. I didn't point out it's his age issue though. Now if I were him I'd be really embarrassed, but instead he replied my email nicely saying that he didn't tell any outrageous lies and explained a few other minor issue I mentioned in my email. Then at the very end of his email he said "ps. Will definitely disclose how old I am next time. That's fair no?" Basically he didn't get what I was accusing at all! Of course I emailed back pointing his lies out. He texted me soon after saying he missed me already and would reply later today. What exactly is his problem?? Is it a major red flag?? He never said he didn't lie, just that they weren't outrageous lies? Qualifying the deception is not a good sign. You pointed out specific things, like his age, that he lied about in your second e-mail reply, right? You don't want to be vague at this point. Assuming you did list the specifics, his response is odd, but I'd guess he's stalling for time to make up some story to justify the lying. He already misses you... I don't know. Smells like a manipulator to me. At the very least, he thinks it's okay not only to lie about his age, but to intentionally withold the truth from you even when you know he's witholding the truth. Major red flag. Cut him loose and move on.
Star Gazer Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 Wondergirl... No joke, I think we've met the same guy!
Author wondergirl_6 Posted April 4, 2011 Author Posted April 4, 2011 Wondergirl... No joke, I think we've met the same guy! Really? I live in the UK and this guy is non-white. Do you still think it's the same person?
Recommended Posts