lovesparis Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 exbf broke NC. we met up, kept regular email contact. he told me he wants FWB with me. i thought about it, i really did. we have such amazing chemistry and his mere presence mellows my soul. it was so good to feel his arms around me, to smell him, to kiss him. i've decided not to go FWB with him. it's not going to give me what i want (relationship). i'm going to feel used if i did. i'm not going to respect myself. i think i'll go back to NC. i don't really want to... but i don't know what else to do. i should feel happy with my choice, all woman hear me roar... but i don't. i really need to hear this was the right call.
Fufu Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 Well, he didn't break NC, that's his business. You broke your NC. NC is all about yourself, not WE and anything to do with HIM. I'm glad you stop being FWB with him, if not I will really really have nothing to say to you because you are allowing him to humiliate you. "i think i'll go back to NC. i don't really want to... but i don't know what else to do." NC is the only path for you now, why would you want to be with a man who doesn't want to love you and instead just want to be with you for SEX. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with this kind of person? Be truly happy you and him are OVER. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- "i should feel happy with my choice, all woman hear me roar... but i don't. i really need to hear this was the right call.? As above, you should be happy and you are definitely making the right call to go NC. If you still stick on being his FWB, you are walking the wrong path. If you love yourself, treat yourself well, start focusing on yourself from now on. Purpose of NC is mainly and solely for yourself. Meaning of NC: - Do not initiate any contacts with your EX Delete his mobile number, delete him from your facebook/skype/msn/myspace/youtube/twitter/whatever you can name it - Do not respond to any of his contact Whether he called/e-mailed/sms/message you, there are ALL no longer matters to you. - Start doing things that is all about YOURSELF Occupy your mind and stop thinking what he's doing and feeling, they have nothing to do with you anymore. Pick up a new hobby/interest, read books, go out with family and friends, start doing things you want to do especially those that you have been neglecting or procrastinating. Every day you pass 1 day of NC, you are getting stronger. Every day you do not give in to any urges and temptations, you are closer to seeing light at the end of the tunnel. Every time you sit through roller coaster moods, you become more confident in yourself. Begin your NC right this moment.
Author lovesparis Posted April 4, 2011 Author Posted April 4, 2011 we were never FWB. he suggested it... i decided against it. i have deleted his phone #, etc... i never put it back in my phone after he called me. we haven't been fb friends since we broke up. i threw out everything he gave me. i deleted all of his emails. i spent 2 mos getting over him. i took a couple days to think about responding to him when he initiated contact-- i decided to do so for 2 reasons: 1. ultimately i wanted reconciliation 2. i also wanted answers about what happened. i've been dating other people for the past few months. the only interests i have and the only books i read are school focused and that is all they will be until i graduate. i haven't been neglecting or procrastinating on anything. i've been going to the gym. nothing in my routine changed from the breakup except he came back in. i just feel like i made the wrong choice, and i want to hear that i didn't.
citrusdrop1688 Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 You did the right thing. I think your worried that your saying no to a potential recognition. Thinking maybe if you were there physically maybe it would develop into more. Or maybe your dealing with what I am personally coming to terms with right now. Thinking any part of him would be better then none at all. But thats not true cause only having a part IS having nothing. And you and I both deserve more then that.
Author lovesparis Posted April 5, 2011 Author Posted April 5, 2011 Thank you Citrus! Yes, my even entertaining the idea of FWB certainly had flavors of both points you mentioned. I appreciate, and needed, the affirmation.
Fufu Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 we were never FWB. he suggested it... i decided against it. My apologies I mis-read your post, I'm really glad you didn't go ahead with it, good job Kudos to you. You did the right choice of moving on.
SingVoice Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 Are you KIDDING me? This guy wants to f*** you but not date you??? WOW. That guy has some balls for suggesting that. Absolutely SO proud of you for saying no. Sometimes we think..."well at least it's SOME contact with him..." But don't do it. Being FWB with him would basically be saying that you don't care enough about yourself to demand that you get what YOU want...but you are willing to do whatever HE wants at your own sacrifice. And you shouldn't ever feel that way. It's basically allowing him to walk all over you and your needs...and if he is doing that now...he probably did that while you guys were dating too. And let's be honest...if you just wanted sex you could go get it from someone who DIDN'T break your heart and you didn't have all that baggage with. GOOD GIRL for turning him down.
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