johnnathan Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 Hello everyone, I have been browsing & reading posts here for about a week. Last night on the phone, I told the girl I still have feelings for I can't just be friends with her. She is 17, I am 19. I'm not going to go into a detailed history, but we never actually dated. I met her last year, we hung out a lot because she lives in my neighborhood. Went on walks to the beach, talked. Ended up having a nice summer romance, it was care free but I never "asked her out". I'm not sure why I never did, but she felt as if I was uninterested in the relationship. We never faught or anything like that, but there was also a big lack of communication. So the next school year comes around, It was a few months back so I don't remember exactly how it happened but we were texting and she tells me she is "with somebody else". This of course broke me, for I had always have had feelings for her. I talked it out with a friend and decided to send her a facebook message about how I really felt about the relationship. She soon texted me saying she got it, and is about to go on a walk and that I should join her. During the walk she was telling me how the relationship she is in now is kind of a joke, it was with a close friend of mine who she vented to when she was with me and wondering why I never wanted to go out. Long story short, he catches wind of this and breaks up with her, only to come crawling back saying it was a mistake a few days later. So this girl and I are still hanging out, watching movies, cuddling, sex, ect. This time I do talk to her about possibly going out, she says how she is going through a lot right now and tends to get very involved in relationships and would lash out at me if we were dating. She is going through a lot, I'll give her that. This still upsets me though. Anyways, the other boy finds out were having sex still and he just yells at her through text and at school because he felt as if "they were still dating", even though they were only friends. But of course, he apologizes a few days later. This is a cycle that never seems to end, he would always leave love posts on her facebook wall, sing love songs in video to her, all this stupid **** JUST to get me mad and upset. When I try to post something, which I rarely ever did, he commented saying "oh my god...stop". So very controlling. Whenever his friends saw me and her together, they would tell him. The last straw was when one of his friends called me up telling me to "stop ****ing with ______'s girl", threatening to beat me up. I had it, it was no longer worth the stress anymore. I drove her home after that night and we talked in the car about it, she said how she does love me but can't be in a relationship right now. I got upset, yes. I didn't yell, I'm not an angry person, I guess I just cry a lot. Anyways, I gave her some space, limited contact a bit, but we were still close. We were growing apart and it killed me, but I wanted to let her figure things out I suppose. We still hung out, not nearly as much as we used to though. No more sex, or any sort of physical closeness really. When were together we don't fight or get mad, we have fun and it was nice. I always convinced myself she would find her way back to me and that everything would be okay, but the other day I saw the other boy's facebook picture of them kissing, and hers just of him and her. Of course I broke down, I was with friends though and they helped me through it. She was texting me the next day, noticed was not being myself and asked "why is ____ upset :[". Oh, I wonder. So we hung out the next morning, I wanted to talk to her about it but I never got around to it. We had a great time though, made her laugh a lot, flirtsy. Still, I needed to have a talk with her. So we hung out again the next morning, told her it was important this time (this was yesterday). We ended up going to the mall because her sister had to. Her and I just walked around, went into the store I worked at and I made her try on the ugliest cloths I could find. Once again, having a good time. When we got back, she helped me clean my car up because it was a mess, THEN we finally talked. I just told her how I still had feelings for her, cried a bit but not to much. I said how I'm not sure if I can just be friends with her, especially if she is already with someone else. I didnt get to finish the talk really, because the other boy's parents just pulled in to drop him off (he is only FIFTEEN by the way, turning 16 in a month -_-). So I left, she texted me that if I wanted to talk, call her at 9:30 & she goes to bed at 10. I called her at 9:40ish, and we talked for about an hour an a half. Once again, no fighting. We got off topic a lot, laughed about things. In the end when I told her that I could NOT just be friends with her, she seemed very surprised. I asked her if she had feelings for me, she said "she doesn't feel that way about anyone". She says the other boy is very pushy, and does not like me and her hanging out, and she does not want to be in a relationship. I don't know how much I believe this, but I either way if I stay friends with her I realized it will only hurt me more. Yeah we have a great time together, and it pisses off the other guy which makes me look better, but if she really wanted me I feel as if she would say it and not play games. After the talk, I noticed she unfriends me from facebook, and unfollows me on tumblr (a blog). Then posts on her blog "**** you; I know I've changed but look at you." At that moment I really didn't care, I was surprised because she was so calm on the phone and I really didn't say anything wrong, she even said she understands if we can't be friends. Anyways, at 6:49 morning she texts me "_____, I want to talk to you." I was going to respond saying okay, but I want to talk in person, or something along those lines. But then I realized, I don't want to talk to her unless she is willing to finally make something out of what we have, more that just friends this time. She says she doesn't want to be in a relationship, and doesn't "feel" that way about anyone. yet she is facebook married to this other kid, and they have profile pictures together. I'm finally calling bull****. I texted back at 10:05 "I told you how I felt _____, you don't feel the same about me & that's okay. It's time for me to heal and move on." I don't hate her for what happened, I guess sometimes things just change. I was not doing strict NC, but I think now I should start. If she texted me saying "hey" or something along thoes lines I wouldn't have responded, I just wanted to let her now I was serious about this. So now that she knows, what should I do if she contacts me again? We were always there for eachother, she called me a few weeks back at 2 in the morning and I drove over and held her while she was crying about her grandmothers death. I want to think I good to this girl, she is very beautiful and I love being around her so of course if she wanted to consider dating I would defiantly want to talk about it. Since I enjoy spending time with her, once my feelings fade maybe I WOULD consider just friends. This of course, being 2 or so months of NC from now. But if she does call me, should I answer? Or texts me about wanting to talk, what should I say? I don't know if I love the girl, but I do like being around her. I want her to know though that I'm moving the **** on with my life though if she doesn't want to make anything out of this. ugh that was longer than expected, but if you read through all of it thank you :|
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