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Posted

Hi,

Tonight I am flying to surprise my ex fiance on her 29th birthday.

Its a 5 hour flight :) to get there

I broke up with her and then wanted her back but she is so cold and said is over but still talk to each other.

SHe said we fought to much and had issues about previous problems we had, 4 years ago.

The problem was the distance though.

 

I will buy 28 real flowers and one fake.

I wil knok on her door give her the flowers and tell her that I will love her until the last rose dies (see fake plastic one ;) )

 

Any comments?

 

I just want her back and make her happy because I love her.....

Posted

wow, you're really, really setting yourself up for disappointment. sorry to sound negative, but thats a real risk.

Posted

Sounds risky to me too, unless you and her are on some other level of deep friendship and she might be expecting this. Have you thought about the "what ifs"? Like what if she isn't home? Or what if she is with another man? Or what if she gets upset? Good luck to you anyway but this is def not something I'd do.

Posted

That's very romantic and if she is wanting you to prove that you really want her back, that's a smooth move. If she's not interested any more, it could be uncomfortable, creepy even.

 

Definitely risky though! Like superb said, have you considered the what-ifs?

 

True, ya only live once. I just hope it goes well.

Posted

Nice touch with the flowers, although you may want to look up the meaninsg of flower types, colours and numbers. They all have different meanings (hence why a close friend got a pink rose from me a while back).

 

I do worry though that this may end up being a costly mistake, both financially and mentally. What signs has she honestly given you that suggest this is what she would like to happen? I'm sure you've run the whole scenario through your head countless times and in each one she greets you with open arms and then falls madly in love with you... but have you really thought about the non-Disney ending, where things go totally wrong.

 

I'm not saying things will go bad, I can't make that assumption based on the info provided, but I just think you should think this through some more. She is an ex but you're treating her like she's someone new...

Posted

I say go go after the woman you love.... you will never have to say what if I did this..... Just do it and hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. I wish you luck.. I would love that if my man did that for me..

Posted

All the best, since you had made up your mind to do it.

 

However, do prefer for the outcome you are not hoping for.

Posted

I thought this only happened in the movies! I'd love for someone to do that for me. But I'm wondering about the what ifs too. I hope you are prepared if the outcome is not favorable. Good luck!

  • Author
Posted

I am in the hotel and thanks for the answers.

I personally believe she will not come back but at least she will see how much I love her,that's the whole idea :)

  • 1 month later...
Posted

I wonder how it went...

Posted

Awww, how sweet... your a stalker! Leave the girl alone!

  • Author
Posted

I will ignore the stalker comment as you are not a romantic person and dont know about you my friend but I would not break a 5 years relationship via the telephone as she did so I wanted to see her up close so keep the psychologic evaluations for you as been here looks like you messed up to ;)

 

But for the people that are wondering.

 

In the beginning not so well as she said I was selfish to go and and tried to destroy her birthday and she started crying.Off course her parents took her site but she invited me in and we spoke.

I heard things that I never thought she would accuse me for, things that she just made conclusions.

 

I decided to lave and never speak to her again and then the calls started and the texting.

She was begging me to speak to her and meet her before I leave and get back together.

she even called my mother crying.

So i decided to give it a go.

Believe it or not she changed her mind in seconds and told me again its over.

 

so I just left it there and every a week or so I get a txt or a call from her to see how I am....

Posted

I'd give my right arm for my boyfriend (we're having some major issues) to do that for me. Well done on following your heart, its a really romantic gesture and shows you have a good heart. Good luck with everything, hopefully you'll soon meet a girl who is worth all your feelings :)

  • Author
Posted

Thanks for your comment, I hope one day she will see that she is the center of my universe and forgive me for been an idiot

Posted

It's better to do something extreme and get rejected, rather then never do it and regret it.

 

I'm glad you did it. If you're wanting your ex back that gesture alone is something she's always going to remember.

 

Good luck to you!

Posted
It's better to do something extreme and get rejected, rather then never do it and regret it.

 

I'm glad you did it. If you're wanting your ex back that gesture alone is something she's always going to remember.

 

Good luck to you!

 

^This

So maybe you didn't get the fairytale ending that you wanted, but you followed your heart and you went for it. Reality isn't like the movies, just remember that. Keep your head up :)

Posted

you gave it a shot. as she whatches all the flowers wilt except the last one she'll think about it.

 

not nessacarily take you back. but it will provoke thought.

 

sometimes the best thing you can do to make someone want you again is make them doubt how much you love them, becuase sometimes that doubt is the only thing that will make you think about them. take a long time apart. drop off the face of the earth for awhile. a long while. a few months. maybe a year or two. depends on how forgiving she is. keep her in that grey area where she doesnt know for sure whether you moved on or not. a definite awnser in either direction will kill the only chance you have left. and that window of opportunity wont open up for a long time.

 

in the mean time, find a girl or two to keep you company. and keep you from. going crazy.

 

and finally what you have to ask yourself,

 

is it all really worth the pain?

  • Author
Posted

I actually gave her 28 real ones and one fake and told her I will love her till the last one dies.

 

I dont know anymore.

 

She kept my ring, my clothes and still txts.

 

We broke up 4 months ago and the max we did not talk was 2 weeks.....

Posted
I actually gave her 28 real ones and one fake and told her I will love her till the last one dies.

 

I dont know anymore.

 

She kept my ring, my clothes and still txts.

 

We broke up 4 months ago and the max we did not talk was 2 weeks.....

 

If I were in your situation, I think the best thing you could do is completely cut contact from her to give her a chance to really miss you.

 

If you're always there when she calls, it will give her the impression that you will be there no matter what she decides while that isn't very fair to you. It's really easy to get pushed into the friend zone or left on the back burner by doing that.

 

You went balls to the wall and pulled that romantic stunt that most girls would kill for to happen to them, stop contacting her and let that be her last physical memory of you. If you let that bubble in her head, chances are she will want to get back together.

 

Considering your situation, I would let her know that you're going NC before hand though. Just along the lines of "I can't just be friends with you, I wish you the best."

  • Author
Posted

She was clear though its over, you believe she is not sure?

Posted

I think you still have a shot. If she's keeping your ring, your clothes and still texting you that's a sign.

 

If she was begging you to speak to her and see her when she thought you were gone for good, that's a sign.

 

To me it just sounds like she's confused, which made your break inevitable because she was unsure of herself.

 

I don't want to give you false hope, but if I were you, I'd just stop contacting her and focus on myself. You will begin to move on while possibly getting her back in the process. She might call you to get back together, and she might not, but I doubt being put on the back burner by a girl you love isn't the best feeling. So what do you have to lose?

Posted

why did you guys break up in the first place? and who broke it off? but good for you man, lol, im really proud of you =)

  • Author
Posted

I did actually because I was trying to get a point across were she should realise that she did something wrong.

 

She said I broke up with her to many times over the phone,stupid me.

 

That was the major reason she refused to come back when I offered a reunion the same day we broke up.

 

We both did mistakes but I never thought the mistakes were so bad to cause a wedding to be cancelled.

 

After that we met for Valentines and she was unsure....I just dont know about her

Posted
I did actually because I was trying to get a point across were she should realise that she did something wrong.

 

She said I broke up with her to many times over the phone,stupid me.

 

That was the major reason she refused to come back when I offered a reunion the same day we broke up.

 

We both did mistakes but I never thought the mistakes were so bad to cause a wedding to be cancelled.

 

After that we met for Valentines and she was unsure....I just dont know about her

 

psst.. she doesn't know about HERSELF. she's obviously confused so give her space and do your own thing.

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