Yellowbug Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 So, I left my ex over 1 year ago . . . He cheated early in our 3 year relationship, and I could never get over it. We tried, but it didn't work. He did NOT want me to go. I cut contact cold turkey. We had NC for approximately 14 months. Finally, we spoke in person over lunch, and he seems to be doing very well and has a serious GF. I told him that I was very happy for him, and we kept the conversation very light. It was nice, and mature. A month or so has passed since our meeting, and I have been completely respectful of his situation. I have NOT initiated contact for any reason, but he has been reaching out to me with surface-level text messages. Then, he lets me know that he will be in my area for a function, and wants to grab a drink. Up until this point, I was very smart with my text responses not to give too much information about my life and not entertain more meetings if requested. This time, I agreed to meet up to have a drink because I was going to be around the corner from his function. Well, he was with friends, and so was I. He draped his arm around me the entire evening, was wearing the ring I gave him as a gift 2 years ago, held my hand through the crowd, and I LET him. We ended up sleeping together that night. It was amazing and comfortable, but we did not talk about the past, present, or future. There was NO, "I miss you, and want you back, blah, blah, blah." I am single, and have made it a point to be single since our break over 1 year ago. I have accomplished many great things since, but now I'm feeling a little stupid in regards to my decision. I knew that I should have said, "Listen, I care for you and it would be amazing to have a night of bliss, but you have a girlfriend, and I respect that." I didn't do that. What is going on in his head? Should I send a message saying that this was a mistake, or just wait for him to reach out to shut it down?
dreamingoftigers Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 What was going on in yours? Drop him completely, never ever contact him again and never let him contact you. Period. If you want to do something toxic, learn how to remove asbestos!
Hlep Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 So, I left my ex over 1 year ago . . . He cheated early in our 3 year relationship, and I could never get over it. We tried, but it didn't work. He did NOT want me to go. I cut contact cold turkey. We had NC for approximately 14 months. Finally, we spoke in person over lunch, and he seems to be doing very well and has a serious GF. I told him that I was very happy for him, and we kept the conversation very light. It was nice, and mature. A month or so has passed since our meeting, and I have been completely respectful of his situation. I have NOT initiated contact for any reason, but he has been reaching out to me with surface-level text messages. Then, he lets me know that he will be in my area for a function, and wants to grab a drink. Up until this point, I was very smart with my text responses not to give too much information about my life and not entertain more meetings if requested. This time, I agreed to meet up to have a drink because I was going to be around the corner from his function. Well, he was with friends, and so was I. He draped his arm around me the entire evening, was wearing the ring I gave him as a gift 2 years ago, held my hand through the crowd, and I LET him. We ended up sleeping together that night. It was amazing and comfortable, but we did not talk about the past, present, or future. There was NO, "I miss you, and want you back, blah, blah, blah." I am single, and have made it a point to be single since our break over 1 year ago. I have accomplished many great things since, but now I'm feeling a little stupid in regards to my decision. I knew that I should have said, "Listen, I care for you and it would be amazing to have a night of bliss, but you have a girlfriend, and I respect that." I didn't do that. What is going on in his head? Should I send a message saying that this was a mistake, or just wait for him to reach out to shut it down? Wait so he's in a serious relationship and slept with you? This guy is the type of a-hole that gives every other man a bad rap. He's a cheater. He cheated on you, and he just cheated on his new girlfriend. He's obviously just using you for sex, how much clearer could it be? Go NC, and never respond to this guy ever again... There are so many BETTER MEN out there.
Author Yellowbug Posted April 4, 2011 Author Posted April 4, 2011 Wait so he's in a serious relationship and slept with you? This guy is the type of a-hole that gives every other man a bad rap. He's a cheater. He cheated on you, and he just cheated on his new girlfriend. He's obviously just using you for sex, how much clearer could it be? Go NC, and never respond to this guy ever again... There are so many BETTER MEN out there. You are right. No argument. I am torn and disappointed because I feel for her. Not him. Yeah, I care about him and always will, BUT I just did what some other chick did to me. I was selfish at his GF's expense . . . I'm ticked at myself!!!!!! I guess I knew that he still wanted me, and that I didn't want him for more than sex because he can't maintain a faithful relationship, so I stooped to his level . . . Wow, this is the lowest I have gone in a lonnnngggg time:(
Hhhh Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 So he cheated on you with another girl, you couldn't get over it so you left. A year later, this scumbag is in another relationship and he cheats on her with you? wow... This guy is hopeless and he has dragged you down to his level. I feel sorry for his current Gf. Send her over here when you guys spit her carcass out
Author Yellowbug Posted April 4, 2011 Author Posted April 4, 2011 So he cheated on you with another girl, you couldn't get over it so you left. A year later, this scumbag is in another relationship and he cheats on her with you? wow... This guy is hopeless and he has dragged you down to his level. I feel sorry for his current Gf. Send her over here when you guys spit her carcass out No doubt. I don't argue with your honesty. In my defense, I thought maybe they had broken up because of his invite out and marching me around in front of his friends that I had known from his past . . . They all seemed fine with it . . . In my head, I was thinking, "They had to have broken up." I should have been more verbal and asked. Guess I was in denial.
pandagirl Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 You made a mistake that some of us would have done in the same situation. Just forgive yourself, and forget about your loser ex. All people have good qualities, but you have to remember the bad ones, too -- those are the deal breakers.
TryTryAgain Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 In my head, I was thinking, "They had to have broken up." I should have been more verbal and asked. Guess I was in denial. Yes, ask next time, for the other girl's sake anyways. Even if he was out of the current relationship, the ex-sex probably would have the same effect on you because this guy sounds like a grade-A d-bag. He used you, period.
Layzie89 Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 He played his cards right with you and you gave him exactly what he wanted. A mistake was made, move on and don't let it happen again.
Duckduckgoose Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 Eh... serial cheater. Don't be responding to his texts anymore. He's prolly gonna try and hit you up for sex again.
Author Yellowbug Posted April 5, 2011 Author Posted April 5, 2011 Eh... serial cheater. Don't be responding to his texts anymore. He's prolly gonna try and hit you up for sex again. I appreciate all the responses . . . I just don't have any feeling for him . . . Heck, what happened just confirms that he hasn't changed and doesn't respect anyone . . . I feel bad about the GF situation, and I'm having a hard time shakin it . . . Oh well, It's a mistake I will not commit again . . . Now, I just hope he texts me again, so that I have the opportunity to ignore him as I did for so long after our break . . .
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