thatdog Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 Ok. So I know this is possibly going to start a lot of flaming but I'd like to get to the bottom of this. I've never really bought drinks for complete strangers before and always though tit was a stupid waste of money (if i'm that flush would rather spend it on my friends). I've also always been of the opinion that all guys who buy drinks for girls they don't really know are just doing so because they think getting them drunker and showing their generosity will give them a better chance of taking the girl home. I've heard arguments from some of my female friends int he past though that they think accepting a drink from a guy they won't sleep with is fine because either they are paying for their drinking with the time they spend paying attention to the guy in the club, or that most guys are just friendly and want to have a fun night out so buying a drink for beautiful girl is just a courtesy. Question for the Girls- When you are out in a club/bar and a guy offers to buy you a drink. Do you accept a- Always b- Never c- Only if you are single d- Only if you think you might like the guy e- something else Question for the Guys if you are the kind of guy that buys drink for girls is it because a- you are just having fun and don't care about money so much when you are out b- because you are on the pull and want to sleep with her c- because you like the company of girls and want to chat with her (and are perfectly fine with just that) d- something else Secondary clubbing question for the girls. Almost every girl I know who goes out clubbing almost always wear heels, short skirts etc. They always spend the later part of the night complaining about their feet and how hard it is to dance in heels. If i every say well obviously if you are going dancing why not just wear something comfortable like sneakers. but no they can't do that cos they will feel awkward and underdressed compared to their friends. BUT all their friends are complaining about the same problem. And I'm not just talking about single girls on the pull, it's also my gf, and all my friends' gfs and wives. wth is the deal with this?
Author thatdog Posted April 4, 2011 Author Posted April 4, 2011 That might be a little different. But in most situations a guy will approach the girl at the bar or wherever and ask 'do you want a drink?' or 'what drink do you want?'
Leeway Harris Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 The bartender is supposed to ask first if you accept the drink before charging the patron for it. I don't understand club culture, since I've never really experienced it. And I've never bought a strange woman drinks, but I have seen it happen. I was out with my sister and a cousin, and these guys kept sending drinks over. The bartender would come over and say "That guy wants to buy you a drink, do you accept?" And she always did. And then the guy would come over to say hi, she'd thank him, and then he'd say "I'll be over there if ya' feel like talkin', <wink>" Pretty weird to watch a string of guys try to pick up your sister right in front of you. Eventually this much, much older English guy was hanging out at our table, buying my sister drink after drink, and she kept on drinking them, until I had to basically cut her off. The guy was definitely after something, and if I wasn't there he'd have tried to keep buying her drinks until she was too drunk to know where she was, and he'd have had her back at his hotel room. When we finally left, the guy wasn't mad, just sort of good-naturedly disappointed, like "Aww, I wish you'd leave her here with me, mate!" Yeah, right. Some brother I'd be if I did that. Besides, she was so plastered at that point I was a little worried. It's like, Jesus, you're an adult! Do you not know you don't have to accept drinks from every friggin guy in the bar? I think she actually accepted them because she didn't want to be rude! Can you believe that?
Lilmisus Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 Only a couple of times have I gone out with the girls looking for a good time since I don't like unwanted attention from guys most of the time. Since I'm only 20 and I don't drink (wont really, till my 21st), accepting drinks from guys isn't really an issue for me. Some have offered, but I kindly refuse. Personally, I don't like guys who are willing to buy any cute girl at the bar a drink. It shows desperation to me that they just want an easy lay for the night..and I hate desperate/needy guys. Meet me, strike up conversation, and if it goes well, offer to buy a drink over more conversation, then offer to take me out. Not: meet me (or see me) and offer a drink. You'll go broke that way if you do it all the time. And to your other question: I dress for comfort and to look cute. I make sure to dress in something I could wear the entire night, and with shoes that I find comfortable. But I'm a flip flop and sun dress or jeans kind of girl, so heels are usually out of the question for me. If I do wear them, I always am sure to bring flats that match my outfit in case I can't take the pain anymore. Plus, I believe in practicing dancing and whatnot in the shoes you're planning on dancing in. If it's heels, practice dancing in the heels. If it's sneakers, practice in sneakers. It makes things a lot less painful and easier on you.
zengirl Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 Question for the Girls- When you are out in a club/bar and a guy offers to buy you a drink. Do you accept a- Always b- Never c- Only if you are single d- Only if you think you might like the guy e- something else I don't really go to clubs---I tend towards pubs, where the regulars are pretty regular (certain scenes) and I know at least one or two people there, if not the whole bar (varies, of course)---so my experience in those cases is very different. However, if out at a random dance club and a random stranger wants to buy me a drink? I would not accept. I cannot remember this really ever happening, but I rarely went to clubs. I don't particularly care for them. Pubs, I love. Hangouts, I love. Wine bars, I love. Places to see bands, I love. Noisy, loud, overly fancy dance clubs with blaring hip hop music and guys on the prowl for easy lays? No fun. I have occasionally gone dancing, but I prefer to do that at the gay club with my gay male friends and some female friends and/or at a more hipster-esque venue with a band or something (where I won't be as bothered by guys). It's not worth it to try to dance just to get hassled by strange guys all night. I remember in college --- we had to form a circle and push guys off of us who tried to basically dry hump us on the floor. I think I tried that all of a few times before it was already old. And I wasn't of drinking age yet! If I'm single, in a pub, chatting with a guy, and he offers me a drink----I'd probably accept if interested/attracted and decline if I wasn't. Either way, I wouldn't go home with the guy. I'd have to be talking to him first/have met him/have some familiarity with him, and then I'd feel badly accepting if not single/not interested, unless he was a friend/it was a round for the whole table or bar, etc. I have some friends who tend to buy rounds for their friends (used to be one of them, when I was rich), but those are people you know which is a different story. Secondary clubbing question for the girls. Almost every girl I know who goes out clubbing almost always wear heels, short skirts etc. They always spend the later part of the night complaining about their feet and how hard it is to dance in heels. If i every say well obviously if you are going dancing why not just wear something comfortable like sneakers. but no they can't do that cos they will feel awkward and underdressed compared to their friends. BUT all their friends are complaining about the same problem. And I'm not just talking about single girls on the pull, it's also my gf, and all my friends' gfs and wives. wth is the deal with this? Firstly: You cannot wear sneakers to most places I'd consider "clubs." They tend to have dress codes. But then again, I always wear comfortable shoes, whether heels or flats, that also match my outfit. I used to always wear heels in college/right after, but I outgrew that with traveling so much (so much walking!) and living in many cities without a car. So, you've got me.
musemaj11 Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 What are ppl REALLY thinking when a guy buys a girl a drink? "What a chump."
Kelemort Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 I've never been to a pub. There's a brewery that I go to here, but I'm almost always with a guy when I go, so I'd imagine most people there just figure that it's my boyfriend or husband. So, no one's ever paid to buy me a drink. I have gone out with friends and acquaintances who have offered to buy me a drink or dinner, and I always refuse (especially if I suspect they like me as "more than a friend"). I would never accept a drink from a stranger. If it had ALREADY been paid for, I might thank the person who sent it and then drink it. But that's a really awkward spot to put a girl in in the first place. But if a guy came up first and offered, definitely no. I don't go clubbing. But a lot of people wear clothing just for aesthetics rather than the comfort. Not me! Sweats all the way. Then again, maybe that's why guys aren't buying me drinks.
spice4life Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 I think it depends upon the situation. I've been out with friends and someone has bought the whole group drinks. If someone buys you a drink and not your friends then that is a clear indicator they are interested. I accept drinks if the whole group is bought a round. Here is another situation I discussed with someone a month ago. If someone invites you out for a drink individually, under the guise of business, be careful because there could be another motive behind it as I have recently learned. I was invited out and after some thought, I decided to cancel because, while I was thinking all business, the other person may not have been. I didn't go and won't be put in that position. There was no interest other than business and I didn't want to give them the wrong impression by going. They got the message loud and clear. No more worries there! The only business drinking I do is at events and I am always with a group.
BeginAgain Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 I'm thinking he is a sucker but it is a necessary part of the game. Women feel entitled especially the more beautiful they are.
musemaj11 Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 I'm thinking he is a sucker but it is a necessary part of the game. Women feel entitled especially the more beautiful they are. Buying a woman a drink is a bad game. If a woman is attracted to u, she will welcome u whether or not u buy her a drink. If she is not immediately attracted to u, buying her a drink is just going to inflate her ego even more thus pushing her out of ur reach further.
alphamale Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 Buying a woman a drink is a bad game. If a woman is attracted to u, she will welcome u whether or not u buy her a drink. If she is not immediately attracted to u, buying her a drink is just going to inflate her ego even more thus pushing her out of ur reach further. this^^^^^^
mogul Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 "What a chump." Buying a woman a drink is a bad game. If a woman is attracted to u, she will welcome u whether or not u buy her a drink. If she is not immediately attracted to u, buying her a drink is just going to inflate her ego even more thus pushing her out of ur reach further. Have you ever been to a club or been successful at a club? I don't think buying a girl a drink is a chump move at all. However, I just don't buy or pour any random cute girl a drink. If I see a cute girl that I'd like to get to know on the dance floor, I'd introduce myself and make convo. We'd dance for a bit and if I feel like we do click, I'd invite her back to the table and pour her a drink or grab her a drink at the bar. It is more just to get away from the crowd, a bit more "alone/quiet" (if that is possible at a club) time to have convo on a different level. If her friends approve of you, they will let her go alone with you which leads to a higher probability of you making out by the end of the night and possibly other things.
fishtaco Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 Have you ever been to a club or been successful at a club? I don't think buying a girl a drink is a chump move at all. However, I just don't buy or pour any random cute girl a drink. Yes I have. And I don't buy women drinks period. The third last woman I was intimate with I met at a club. I did not buy her drinks. Then before that my girlfriend at the time I met at a club. I also did not buy her drinks. I would pay for the dates, because in the US, the culture says the men pays. But I did not buy drinks in order to get the date. But this is different from "buying a round" of drinks. Had this discussion a while back. The goal is different. I would entertain friends yes. And by association just to be generous I would buy drinks for tag-alongs, just because they are my friend's friends. But that's a different scenario. I don't believe in having to purchase the right to have her time and attention.
Darren Taylor Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 As mentioned earlier, if a woman is into you, you don't need to buy her a drink. Too many women expect to get free drinks and when the guy buys it, they take off.
Author thatdog Posted April 5, 2011 Author Posted April 5, 2011 So this thread is pretty interesting but a little off topic for my original intentions. one of the key things I wanted to get feedback on was basically do you guys (or your friends) who buy drinks for strange girls in clubs/bars expect those girls to acknowledge the fact that you are shouting them drinks because you are sexually interested in and them? and are you offended if the girl accepts and then either takes the drink and leaves or informs you that they have a bf and therefore u have no chance? and do girls who accept drinks from guys in these situations think that the guy is buying drinking cos they are interested and if so how do they justify accepting the drink in situations where they are completely uninterested?
musemaj11 Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 Have you ever been to a club or been successful at a club? I don't think buying a girl a drink is a chump move at all. However, I just don't buy or pour any random cute girl a drink. If I see a cute girl that I'd like to get to know on the dance floor, I'd introduce myself and make convo. We'd dance for a bit and if I feel like we do click, I'd invite her back to the table and pour her a drink or grab her a drink at the bar. It is more just to get away from the crowd, a bit more "alone/quiet" (if that is possible at a club) time to have convo on a different level. If her friends approve of you, they will let her go alone with you which leads to a higher probability of you making out by the end of the night and possibly other things. Thats different. You are a chump if you offer to buy her a drink from the get go as if you were purchasing her time and attention. Thats a bad game. To be honest, I used to buy girls drinks because I saw everyone doing that. But then I learned better.
Chicago_Guy Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 If a guy is buying a drink for a girl he just met, I would probably think that he is very inexperienced with respect to women and doesn't know any better.
Star Gazer Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 I rarely go to "clubs"... I usually go to dives, pubs, lounges or wine bars, but those can get crowded and sometimes a spontaneous dance floor breaks out. In any event, I've never had a drink sent over by a stranger/guy I've never met. I'd find that pretty forward and nearly creepy. The occasions where a guy has bought me a drink and I've accepted the drink has almost always involved mutual interest. The circumstances usually involve me meeting a guy that I find interesting/like and the two us both standing somewhere relatively close to the bar, and engaging in conversation with one another. He typically looks down at his empty glass/bottle and then at my drink, and asks if I want another, and then goes and gets us both drinks. If I'm enjoying his company and we want yet another round, I'll get those. Now, if I was talking to a guy, and had an empty or near-empty drink, and he went to the bar to get just himself another drink... I'd probably find that a little off-putting. But it's never happened - the guy has always offered and bought me the drink. When out with a group of friends, which involve guys, most of the guys will buy the girls rounds of drinks too. But we return the favor.
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