butterfly2011 Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 ok so NC hasnt been working for me exactly. He said he wants to work things out, sit down and work things through.... so he keeps saying but never shows. So I call him today and he answered. He was about to get his haircut and he said who is this? I said me, he said me who.... oh are you talking to someone else? He said no but its been so long that we have talked and you blocked your number. I said well I just pushed the green button on my phone from the other day.. he said yeah ok just like I picked up the blocked call, Basically meaning he knew it was me and wanted to talk to me. I asked him if he missed me yet and he said no. then he said of course i miss you. I miss you alot. Then he said hey Im getting in the chair I will call you back. I promise I will call you back this time.... and he said I will try to stop by to talk. TRY? After 2 and a half years he will try? He didnt call or come by. I feel like a piece of **** on his shoe. We were a family here. SO I took the kids and we went to buy locks, changed the locks and put his stuff out in the garage. He stops by here whenever he pleases when we are not home and I am sick of it. He cannot have his cake and eat it too. Now i am ready for NC for reals. This is super immature and I do not deserve to be treated this way. During an argument I told him to leave..... so he decided to leave and came back a week later took some stuff and left most of it because he said he wants to see how things work out. He told me yesterday it isnt about him going out and having fun because he has fun with me..... So then what the heck is going on? I guess its time to stop asking that and just think about me and the kids. Wednesday will be two weeks. Short time yes and it is hurting bad.
betterdeal Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 It gets better with time. As you get your environment more under control and more of your life becomes predictable, you'll not feel so worn out. As his words do not match his actions, you can only predict what he may do by his actions. Once you have those locks changed you'll have a more stable, secure environment. Get you and your children to a strong position and the storm will pass.
Trovador Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 I've wondered always how they are able to pull the "I'll call you in a sec" trick off? One thing is not answering when you call or text, another is lying just to get rid of you... although I suspect they don't lie, they just forget... that shows how important one is to them... You are right, you deserve better...
Author butterfly2011 Posted April 4, 2011 Author Posted April 4, 2011 just a few weeks ago he wanted me to be his wife and we have been trying for a baby. We lost a couple in the past two years. Funny how one argument can change it all. Hes done this before and then one day just showed up, walked in the house and I was like ok....hello. I allowed it so he will try it again. Like I said he left things here he said to see how things work out but I am going to do my best to do NC. I amready to heal my heart from this ridiculous pain. Why oh why have I allowed it and why would I love someone like that? I dont want a challenge but it looks like that is exactly what I have. I rather have a nice comfy normal relationship.
Trovador Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 NC is useful, if you really want to start over, without him... many people go NC just for the hell of it, without realizing that by itself, NC doesn't add to much... The hard part is not implementing NC, anybody can do that (for a little time, that is), but to take the decision of quitting that person who, besides crippling us emotionally, doesn't give a damn about us... You'll be fine, you'll see...
Author butterfly2011 Posted April 4, 2011 Author Posted April 4, 2011 i have just been trying to give him the chance to come back home since I told him to leave during an argument. I guess he really wanted to be gone cause he hasnt come back. the next day he tried texting me but I didnt answer. He wanted to come home but I didnt answer. Why should I have given him permission to come back to his own home. Now he is comfortable being away and wont contact me until that comfort is disrupted somehow. I am so hurt right now and I am trying my best to get over this but it has been so hard with him telling me he loves me and misses me and wants to work things out. He is playing a game and he doesnt realize that he is taking it too far. Soon I will end up hating him and he will lose me and be stuck with that big tattoo in his neck that says my name. Not much that can cover that up unless he wants an ugly tattoo, huge on the back of his neck. Long hair can cover it up.. lol Sorry i think its funny. Why did he get that tattoo anyways?
Fufu Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 Please start NC and don't think of what he's going to do.
betterdeal Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 Sounds me when I was a teenage boy. I ran away from home and came back a few times. Are you happy to be his replacement mother?
Author butterfly2011 Posted April 4, 2011 Author Posted April 4, 2011 FuFu - I left my phone at home today.... thats the only way I can start and stick with NC. My stomach hurts so bad.... but hey I got breakfast right here and I am eating. I actually listened to music on my way in to work. Instead of thinking of him during every song, I thought of my future husband, whoever he might be.... Betterdeal - I told him to leave in the heat of an argument..... Yes he should have came back and we could have worked it out as adults... so my answer, no I dont want to be his replacement mother.... I'm NC.... trying hard to stay positive and not think about him.
Fufu Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 I'm so happy for you You are getting yourself a good and positive start. I love listening to music too, it works great to occupy minds.
Author butterfly2011 Posted April 4, 2011 Author Posted April 4, 2011 I love loud happy upbeat songs the very best.....
Fufu Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 Loud and happy music are great, especially the up beat ones, do agree with you
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